DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I started dating my fiance four years ago, I became friends with the wife of one of his best friends. The relationship had been fine until a friends' weekend away.

One evening, I tried to slow our group down to wait for my fiance, who was walking about five minutes behind us all, before we sat down to dinner. We were on time for our reservations, not late.

The rest of the trip went fine, but two days after, I received a phone call from the wife, who was angry that I "made a scene." I attempted to apologize, but that just brought on a 45-minute gutting of prior grievances about me, with phrases such as "Read the room -- no one wants to talk to you" and "Who does things like that?"

I was not allowed to talk, and frankly, I was in shock.

Several weeks later, I called to try to salvage the relationship, even though I still felt like I'd been beaten up verbally. I was met immediately by defensiveness and a rehash of all the things that she thinks I do wrong, past and present. I told her I wanted space and time to think, and to try to repair the relationship.

In the meantime, we hear that she and her husband have reached out to my fiance's two other best friends and told them there was a fight (inappropriate, in my mind, as I did not involve others). Another month or so goes by, and she texts us both to say this was her last attempt at reaching out -- that I had put forth no effort at reengaging with her (liking things on social media, wishing her a happy anniversary, etc.) and that she wanted to know "where I was at."

My fiance says I didn't try hard enough to heal things/reach out, but also heard through her husband that it is a pattern of hers to "burn friendships to the ground" if things don't go her way.

Am I correct in thinking there's not much I can do here? Should I just let this pass and move on?

GENTLE READER: It is not quite time to move on, which does not mean that you have to accept the unacceptable. Explain to your fiance that you did try to heal the breach, and that now it is up to the wife. He would not, you will add, want you to expose yourself to further bullying.

Miss Manners recommends this approach because it will cause both your fiance and, presumably, his circle of friends, to rethink their assumption that appeasing this woman was the right thing to do.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a meal with my brother, who kindly picked up the bill. When I offered to pay the tip, he implied that that offer was not appropriate, and that he would pay the tip. I ended up feeling somewhat humiliated, as if I didn't know the appropriate etiquette.

GENTLE READER: Your brother was wrong to correct your manners and also wrong about the etiquette -- which may ease your embarrassment, but also precludes your correcting him. Pay the bill next time, and suggest that, in future, you should just split it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've understood from reading your work that asking for to-go boxes at restaurants is apparently considered rude. Could you please explain why? I've heard this from other sources as well, but it doesn't make any sense to me, nor align with my own experience.

I care very much about the issue of food waste, and try to let as little of my own go to waste as possible. I also paid for the food and don't like to waste money, either.

Moreover, portion sizes at American restaurants are notoriously huge, and I get the impression that the waitstaff doesn't expect you to finish them. They will actually offer to give me boxes for the remainder when they see me slowing down. I rarely have to ask.

On the rare occasions when I don't finish my meal and have to refuse the to-go box -- for example, if I'm traveling and don't have access to a refrigerator -- I always get the impression that the waitstaff are a little offended. I feel the need to explain that the food was delicious, but that I'm not equipped to store the leftovers.

I once overheard two restaurant employees complaining to each other about customers who don't take their leftovers home, and how sad it is that this delicious food has to go to waste. (That they were having this conversation within earshot of the customers is another story, but I couldn't help but notice that they seemed to care about food waste just as much as I do.)

So, can you enlighten me as to why some consider this behavior rude? I know the term "doggie bag" has weird connotations, possibly because people don't like to think of a dog eating the nice restaurant food, but I do not own a "doggie" and almost never hear this term anymore. Is there a deeper reason that doesn't have to do with dogs? Please help me understand.

GENTLE READER: You should begin by reading more carefully. Miss Manners has no objection whatever to asking to take home food one has bought.

What is objectionable is doing this when one is a guest. The tendency to confuse that commercial transaction with social conditions has unfortunately led to the rude practice of asking hosts for leftovers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: About 10 years ago, my mother-in-law passed away. We had a wonderful relationship, and on her deathbed, she gifted me with her wedding band. I told her that I would "cherish it forever."

Fast-forward 10 years, and her son and I are going through a divorce. Am I obligated to return the ring to him or his sister?

GENTLE READER: Legally? No. She gave it; you got it; it's yours.

Morally, Miss Manners is inclined to say yes. This was not an ordinary present. Your former mother-in-law thought it would remain in the family, and unless you can pass it on to one of her grandchildren, it should be returned.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As I am a woman over 60 with graying hair, people constantly ask if I have grandchildren. I don't, nor do I have children.

I realize these people are just trying to make conversation, but when I answer in the negative, the conversation stops dead and makes for an awkward silence.

I've tried changing the subject or talking about my pets, but the uncomfortableness usually remains and prevents further discourse. How else can I answer this question?

GENTLE READER: Are you under the impression that people who ask that question are eager to talk about your presumed grandchildren?

Not likely. As you say, they hope to start a conversation. Miss Manners assures you that they will happily embark on one if your reply is, "No, do you?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We received a wedding invitation with an RSVP card directing us to a website with info on gifts. When we went to the site to research what gifts were desired, the only gift listed was cash. There were also boxes to check off in $50 increments.

I thought this was tacky. Am I a dinosaur that should be fossilized?

We never even receive acknowledgments or thank-yous for gifts given to these relatives. Thank you for educating me on the new etiquette.

GENTLE READER: What do you mean, "the new etiquette"? You know perfectly well that it will never be proper for solvent people to beg.

Miss Manners would think that their not even expressing gratitude is another reason to direct your charitable funds to the needy, rather than the greedy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it still proper to address a 2-year-old boy as Little Master So-and-so?

GENTLE READER: No, we have retired that custom. Miss Manners need hardly explain why.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I acquired, I don't remember how, a spoon with teeth at the front. I don't see how it could be useful as anything but a grapefruit spoon, but it is twice as wide as any grapefruit spoon I have ever seen, and it is spade-shaped.

I have found no use for it except spading the window-boxes containing my wife's herbs.

Is this a very poorly designed grapefruit spoon, or can Miss Manners tell me that it was properly made for some other purpose?

GENTLE READER: What you have is a runcible spoon, lucky you. It is used to eat mince and slices of quince.

Or so Edward Lear tells us, in his immortal poem "The Owl and the Pussy-Cat." And he ought to know, because he made up the word. He also acknowledged that a duck might use it to spear spotted frogs.

You, however, are entitled to use yours as a spade. Miss Manners also suggests that it serves well as a terrapin fork or a dessert fork for something with both gooey and dry elements.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)