DEAR MISS MANNERS: Person A lost his wife after nearly 65 years of marriage. On what would have been their wedding anniversary a few weeks later, Person B texted Person A to say, “I’m thinking of you on your anniversary.”

Person A wrote back and said, “Thank you -- it was a hard day, and I appreciate you thinking of me.” Person B texted back, "You’re welcome."

Now, I know that “You’re welcome” is more polite than alternatives such as “No worries,” “No problem” or “Of course.” But it seems somehow inappropriate in this circumstance, and I can’t put my finger on why.

What is one supposed to say in this scenario? What should Person B have said, if anything, when being thanked for thinking of Person A?

None of this is my business, so of course I said nothing. But it did cause me to wonder.

GENTLE READER: The sentiment being more important than the form, Miss Manners thinks Persons A and B both acquitted themselves most graciously.

How fortunate for you that it is not your business.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are getting married this fall. It will be a very small wedding, with just our immediate families in attendance, and no formal reception. Because we are having such a small wedding, and because we have been living and creating a home together for the past six years, we did not create any kind of wedding registry. The attendance of our loved ones at this special moment is gift enough!

However, my MIL-to-be recently hosted a surprise wedding shower on our behalf, where several relatives who will not be at the wedding gave us gifts. While we are so grateful for their thoughtfulness, our lack of a registry meant that several of the gifts were either not our style or things we already had. The guests did provide gift receipts, so we were able to return some of these unneeded items and purchase a nice knife set instead.

How should I complete the thank-yous for the items we returned? Do we mention that they were exchanged for something else, or just thank people for what they gave?

I don’t want to lie and say, “Thank you for the candlesticks; they have a prominent place on our mantel!” when that is not the case.

GENTLE READER: Welcome to a world where presents are not just chosen off of a list and some thought is put into their choosing. Isn’t it wonderfully tacky?

Being honest would be cruel, but outright lying is not necessary, either. Miss Manners suggests that you compliment the presents without committing to using them. As in: “What a unique and interesting tablecloth. Its Jackson Pollack-like look will be so convenient in hiding spills.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend and I both have baby girls: Hers is about 6 months old, and mine is 3 months. She has given me a whole bunch of her little girl’s clothes -- such a high volume of items that some still had the tags on.

My friend began offering me these clothes before I'd even had my baby; I initially refused, multiple times, because I was sure that we would have a boy. She dropped them off anyway, without asking, and said, "Give them away if you don’t want them." She also insisted several times that I let her know when we needed the next size up.

I ended up having a girl, and since I had those clothes, I didn’t buy very much for her. But recently, my friend told me that her best friend was offended that she wasn't given these hand-me-downs instead of me. (For reference, her friend hopes to be pregnant soon, but is not yet.) Then she told me to give the clothes to her friend when we are done with them.

I was hoping to hold on to all the clothes because we plan on having more children. I also asked her for the next size up, as my friend had insisted, but was met with a very different response -- as though I was begging for handouts that rightfully belonged to someone else.

The whole situation has made me very uncomfortable, as though I have no right to the clothes I have been dressing my child in since she was born.

I have now given all of the clothes to this person I don’t know; she was very terse with me, furthering my impression. I am honestly quite offended, and feel like I can’t be friends with the first woman anymore.

I am perfectly capable of purchasing clothes for my own kids, but I had come to depend on the ones she had insisted on giving me. Now my daughter’s closet is empty, and I missed all of the seasonal sales, so I am having to order everything full-price.

Is my friend being reasonable? Was this a normal request? Do I have any right to clothing that is given to me free and clear, at least initially?

GENTLE READER: No, no and no.

That is: No, your friend did not behave reasonably in pushing clothes on you, ignoring your polite refusals and then, when you had come to rely on them, changing her mind -- going so far as to make you feel bad for having accepted. And no, it was not normal to pile on demands about what happened to the clothes after you were in receipt.

As to your third question, Miss Manners is admittedly not sure which clothes you refer to: She assumes we are talking about clothes promised, but not yet actually in hand. In that case, no: You cannot realistically enforce the promise of a future gift -- you can only let the friendship go cold.

At this point, that seems the reasonable thing to do.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friends, all gainfully employed adults, will often invite a group out to dinner or drinks to celebrate an occasion, like a birthday or professional milestone.

In some cases, it’s communicated that it will be a “no-host event,” with guests paying for themselves. If not, it’s understood that the host will treat the group.

Twice in recent months, when the check came, one of the guests has proclaimed that the group would treat the host. There is not much to be done in the moment without looking cheap or ungenerous, but I feel annoyed that one person has unilaterally made a decision for which I have to pay.

Is there anything to be done to avoid this scenario?

GENTLE READER: Your friends may be gainfully employed, but they are not what Miss Manners would call adults. Anyone who thinks they can get away with such behavior and still have friends has much maturing to do.

The immediate solution, if you do not feel like dropping such people entirely, is to decline invitations to "milestone" events -- which seem to be increasing at an alarming rate.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a dinner party at our home, my husband left the table momentarily, and a guest picked up his mug of coffee to look at the novelty message on it. When my husband returned, he was angry, stating that it is bad manners to touch someone else’s cup.

Is that so? Does the message on the mug invite inspection? Or was the guest unforgivably rude?

GENTLE READER: Unforgivably? As in, so bad as to never be excused, ever?

Miss Manners agrees there is an indelicacy to handling another diner’s place settings. But if this had been a formal dinner, the coffee would have been served afterwards -- and in china, not a witty mug.

Family and friends can expect a bit more understanding.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper for company employees to address customers by their given names?

Banks do it, call centers do it, salespeople do it. I always appreciate being called "Mr. Smith" instead of just “Bob,” but it rarely happens.

When called "Bob," I often feign surprise and say, “Oh! Do I know you personally?” When they say no, I reply, “When you called me by my given name, I thought perhaps we knew each other.” Or sometimes I simply respond, “It’s Mr. Smith.”

Miss Manners, kindly tell everybody off who commits this deadly sin, and praise me for trying to shore up traditional manners. Surely that’s not too much to ask.

GENTLE READER: Certainly that is how Miss Manners prefers to be addressed by company employees. But these days, she feels some sympathy for company employees who are, as you say, told off on a regular basis -- no matter what they do.

The proper form of address is one that is respectful and that the customer prefers -- for themselves. Note that this courtesy does not extend to allowing them to dictate the form of address for everyone else.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)