DEAR HARRIETTE: I just put a down payment on a new home. At first, I thought this would be a great transition in our life, but now my kids are kicking and screaming about moving. They are teenagers and don't want to lose their friends! They can make new ones, and we'll only be an hour away from our old home. They'll have a better education here. How can I get them to appreciate this move instead of complaining about it and dreading it? -- Relocation, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR RELOCATION: Moving is at the top of the list of stressful activities in a person's life, especially for children. It is natural for them to protest. Teenagers are at the stage when they are exerting more independence, which only makes it more uncomfortable for you, because their voices are maturing. You have to stand your ground and focus on the future. Talk to your children about the new neighborhood. Take them to visit so that they can see their new school and any extracurricular options nearby. Stay calm.

You can expect your children to be unhappy for a while. Consider that natural. After you move, do your best to enroll them in activities that will positively occupy their time. You can also welcome them to invite their friends over for weekend sleepovers or other engagements. But mostly, help them acclimate to their new surroundings. In time, they will make new friends and learn to enjoy their new home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends is the hardest worker I know. She never does anything to treat herself and works two jobs right now. She also takes up odd jobs on the weekends. I want to come up with a way for her to take a step back from her work and relax for a moment. I've tried to do this in the past, but she's always come up with excuses about how she has to work. She's going to burn out at some point! I just want to see her happy and doing things that she likes. How do I pull her away from her constant work? -- Treat Yourself, Pittsburgh

DEAR TREAT YOURSELF: Take a step back. What do you know about your friend's debt and responsibilities? If she needs to work in order to make ends meet, badgering her about it is not going to help her. Instead, you may want to think strategically on her behalf. Based on the skills that she has, do you know of any career category that might earn more per hour than the various jobs she has pieced together? Perhaps you can recommend that she consider a different type of work that will yield more income for less of a time investment.

It could also be true that she simply feels a compulsion to work all the time. Some people are like that. If she is this type, nothing will stop her push to work even if she has enough money. As unbelievable as it may be to you, your friend may enjoy working.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom and I do not have the most stable relationship. I have not spoken to her in years, and I've had to have a restraining order against her. Whenever people ask about my mom, I never know how to respond. These are sometimes family members and sometimes friends who have recently met me. I don't like being asked this question by people who know about our situation, and I want privacy on this topic. How do I politely draw the line that my mother is never a topic for conversation? -- No Mom, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO MOM: I'm sorry to hear about the rift between you and your mother. Clearly, something horrible occurred for you to resort to having a restraining order against her. I can imagine that you would prefer not to talk about her. The good news is that you do not have to, at least not much. With family members, especially those who know your story, you can directly tell them that the topics of your mother and your relationship with her are off limits. If they keep asking, you can simply walk away or not answer. You can also ask them to respect your wishes to not discuss her.

For friends or people who have recently met you, you may want to take a slightly softer approach. Know that it is common for people to ask about your family, especially your mother, as they are getting to know you. It doesn't mean that they are being intrusive, necessarily. More, it is that they are making conversation. You can say to them that you and your mother are not close, and then change the subject. If you instead talk about another family member with whom you are close, it may help ease the awkwardness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I do not purchase anything made of leather. I don't think that animals should be used for clothing. I never talk about this to other people because I don't like forcing my beliefs. I have been given multiple presents like handbags that are made of leather, and don't know what to do with them. I have never worn them and don't really want to gift them to other people to wear. What should I do with all of the leather goods I've been given? An animal died for this product, so I don't want to just throw it out. -- Leather Dilemma, Seattle

DEAR LEATHER DILEMMA: Without forcing anyone to follow your convictions, you can let your close friends and family know your stance. Then you will likely stop receiving gifts made of leather. Right now, people are spending good money to purchase something they think you will like, having no idea of your preferences. By all means, speak up. Let them know you are a no-leather girl. You can also tell them what you do like so that they can get clued in to who you are.

Give the items that you already have to a charity that supports people who cannot afford to buy clothing or accessories. Or consider a house of worship that gives such things to neighborhood people in need.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a young guy in my 20s. This past weekend I asked a girl I met through a dating app on a date. She accepted my date offer; however, she texted through the whole dinner! I confronted her about this at the end of the date, and she actually told me that she was more interested in someone else. I haven't been in the dating world for a long time, but I thought this was so rude. She still tries to text me, and I don't know what to do. We could've had a good thing, but she was so disrespectful and may have just used me for a free meal. Do I give her a second chance? -- Want A Girlfriend, Boston

DEAR WANT A GIRLFRIEND: Don't sell yourself short! You deserve way better than that young lady. While technology can get in the way of many relationships, it surely should not be a problem on the first date. Anybody who cannot take her eyes away from texting to have a full experience with someone on a first date does not deserve a do-over.

I understand that you really want to find someone to be your girlfriend. I encourage you to slow down. Think carefully about what qualities you would like your girlfriend to have. What are your interests, and what would you like to share with a woman? Then, if you go through a dating app, be clear about your interests in your dating profile, so that you potentially weed out the women who want something else. You can go so far as to say that you would like dates to be cellphone-free zones. Why not?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband's aunt passed away about seven months ago. At the time, I was very saddened. I attended the funeral and cried along with everyone else. But now the family is still mourning the loss. This is not a sudden death. She was in her 80s and sick for years. Clearly, I can't tell the family just to get over it, but I want to figure out some ways to move along the mourning process. I was thinking of having one scrapbooking or storytelling event and then slowly cutting down on the everyday mentions of her loss. -- Mourning Period Over, Cincinnati

DEAR MOURNING PERIOD OVER: People process grief in different ways. Just because this aunt was elderly does not mean that they miss her any less than if she had died young or suddenly. What will help you during this period as your family continues to grieve daily is to practice compassion. Do your best to be understanding of their pain. Your idea is a great way to engage them to capture their reminiscences meaningfully. Having a focused activity like scrapbooking will allow everyone space to roam through their memories about your husband's aunt and record them. What you cannot do is regulate how soon they will stop speaking of her daily.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)