DEAR HARRIETTE: I have discovered that my 10-year-old son has been stealing money from my husband's wallet. I found this out when I saw a pair of expensive headphones in his room and asked how he managed to pay for them himself. My son told me he got himself a "Christmas present" from dad's wallet because we never get him what he wants. We spring for one expensive gift a year and make the rest reasonable and useful purchases.

I am appalled that my son would do this -- and so freely admit to it. What kind of punishment can we give him without ruining the Christmas spirit? I know the family would judge us if my son had zero presents waiting for him under the tree. -- Naughty List for Sure, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

DEAR NAUGHTY LIST FOR SURE: Take the headphones from your son. Tell him you intend to wrap them up and he can open the present at Christmas. Tell him that you are taking back or not purchasing the expensive gift that you normally get for him. Punish him for at least the week leading up to Christmas, taking away a privilege that will make him uncomfortable. This could be playing videogames, watching TV or playing with friends. Explain to him that stealing from anyone is bad and even a crime, including when it's from his father. Further, tell him that if he has preferences for what he wants for Christmas, he should make his desires known. This does not mean that he will automatically receive what he wants, but it gives him permission to let you know.

As it relates to expensive items, let your son know that you and your husband work within a budget. If his desired gift fits in your budget, great. If not, he may have to wait for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I celebrate Hanukkah in a Christmas-dominated city. Much to my children's dismay, I respond to people who say "Happy holidays" or "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Hanukkah!" I feel like it is so common to focus only on Christmas, and my holiday should get some recognition, too. My children say I seem like a Grinch and should be happy when people wish blessings to me, regardless of religious connotations. Who is right here?

I don't think I'm doing anything wrong by telling people what holiday I celebrate. -- Merry Menorahs, Queens, New York

DEAR MERRY MENORAHS: Your issue is one that people share across religions. I know some Christians who do not want to say the generic "Happy holidays" because they want to honor Christmas specifically. You have every right to choose to celebrate your own holiday tradition. You can do that without denying others their holiday joy. One way is to repeat their greeting, acknowledging where their allegiance lies, followed by "Happy Hanukkah!"

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend owns a knickknack shop on our town's Main Street. Business has been getting slower and slower for her, and she told me she is shocked she is going under right before the holiday season. She doesn't want to mark her products at lower prices, and assumes the closer it gets to the holidays, the better she'll do. I think this is a poor business model. I had a successful shop years ago and passed it off to my children. Should I give her some friendly advice? -- Overstepping to Help, Poughkeepsie, New York

DEAR OVERSTEPPING TO HELP: Offering unsolicited advice can be very hard to manage successfully, especially when people are experiencing hard times. If you are up for it, one way to make the attempt to be heard is to ask for permission before speaking. You can remind your friend that you once had a successful shop. Ask her if she would care to know some of the strategies that worked for you to stay in business. With her blessing, share your insights without passing judgment on her choices.

During the holidays, it's common for stores to offer special sales and value-added opportunities to persuade customers to shop with them. If your friend does not have low-ticket, affordable items in the store already, she may want to add a few of those items. She may want to play holiday music and offer free hot cider for shoppers. Encourage her to get creative in her welcoming approach to customers. Her positive outlook is key to her success.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends, Nick, wants to kick his smoking habit. He does well during the weekdays, but I have caught him smoking outside of bars and restaurants on the weekends. Should I remind him of his goals? I don't want to seem like a parent, but I want him to kick this nasty habit. -- No Puffing, Salt Lake City

DEAR NO PUFFING: Since Nick has told you that he wants to quit smoking, you can remind him of his plan when you see him smoking. But do so with caution. Smoking is an addiction that is extremely hard to kick. When you see Nick, you can ask him if he would like your support toward his goal. If he agrees, suggest that he not go to the bars and restaurants where he normally has smoked on the weekends.

A principle in 12-step programs relates to people, places and things. The best way to steer clear of the impulse to smoke is to stay away from the people with whom he smoked, the places where he went to smoke and anything that may trigger his desire to smoke. This may be the hardest part, because it requires a person to step away from many aspects of his life for a while, if not forever, in order to kick a nasty habit.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter came to me and told me that she wants an intrauterine device before President-elect Trump is sworn in. She told me this has been a popular movement and wants a form of birth control that will outlive the presidency, but she's only 17 years old. I feel like this is too young to be on birth control. She doesn't even have a boyfriend! I told her I would think about it. Should I let my daughter go through with this? We are a conservative family, but I definitely do not want to be an unplanned grandma. -- Five Years of Protection, Baltimore

DEAR FIVE YEARS OF PROTECTION: Your daughter's precautionary concerns bring up many contemplations. On one hand, it may be like the cries of moving to Canada that people on both sides of the aisle threatened if their candidate lost. On the other, there is a question as to whether Roe v. Wade is in jeopardy of being overturned. While no one anticipates or desires that they or their child would have an abortion, if that option goes away, there are serious health implications for sexually active people. All indicators suggest that it will take years to reverse that ruling, if it ever gets removed.

You need to find out more about your daughter's thoughts and experiences. Investigate to find out if she is considering sexual activity. Framing it as protection against the incoming administration could be a real worry -- or it could simply be a way to get birth control. Talk to your daughter's doctor about the use of an IUD and the health implications. Learn everything you can, and then present an informed decision to your daughter. Know that an IUD may prevent pregnancy, but it will not protect against sexually transmitted diseases.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I noticed one of my friends rekindling her relationship with her ex. They were each other's arch nemesis for the past year, and they constantly dragged me into their fights. Them getting back together just feels like trouble. I have been debating removing myself from their circle of friends, but I hope that she might find the light and stop wasting her time with this man. Should I interfere or let her waste the rest of 2016? -- Bad Choices, Philadelphia

DEAR BAD CHOICES: You cannot prevent your friends from getting back together, but you can control your involvement. Rather than telling your friend that you think she is wasting her time, let her know that you refuse to be dragged into the middle of their volatile relationship should they decide to get back together. Spell it out for her: You do not want to know about their interactions, and you do not intend to spend time with the two of them. If she balks, make it clear to her that you care for her deeply, but you also care enough for yourself to refuse to get drawn into their negativity and drama. You must draw the line to protect yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)