DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently opened a new restaurant, so my family and I visited this week to show our support. From the moment we walked in, it was clear that the restaurant was struggling. The service was chaotic, and it seemed like the staff members were either undertrained or overwhelmed. At one point, one of the servers accidentally spilled water all over my daughter, which made for a very uncomfortable situation. While accidents happen, this seemed to be just one of many issues we encountered that night. The food was another major disappointment. Since it’s an Italian restaurant, we were excited to try the pizza, which is supposed to be their specialty. However, when our pizza arrived, it was cold and slightly burnt, making it almost inedible. The other dishes we ordered were bland and did not live up to our expectations.
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At the end of the meal, my friend came over to our table and asked for our feedback. In the moment, not wanting to hurt her feelings, I told her everything was delicious and that we had had a great time. She seemed so happy and proud, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. Now I’m filled with regret because I know that honest feedback is crucial for her to improve her business. I’m torn between wanting to support my friend and feeling obligated to give her the honest feedback she needs to hear. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings? -- Bad Reviews
DEAR BAD REVIEWS: A true friend tells the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, in a way that the person can hear it. You should follow up with your friend. Tell her you want to share some notes about your experience at her restaurant. With her permission, give her a list of concerns you have, accompanied by specific experiences to illustrate your point. Encourage her to get feedback from others and incorporate improvements into her restaurant so that she can be successful. This may be hard for her to hear, but you will be doing her a disservice by letting her continue to believe the lie that everything was great.