DEAR HARRIETTE: Six months ago, my grandmother passed away and left me a significant inheritance. I'm 24, and my 25-year-old husband unexpectedly quit his job without consulting me, believing the inheritance meant he would no longer need to work. I had made it clear that we needed to save the money for our future and continue living as we were.
Advertisement
Despite my efforts to make him understand the importance of saving, my husband refuses to apply for new jobs, leaving me to cover our bills for the past few months. How can I handle this situation? I want to honor my grandmother's legacy by using this money wisely. -- Burdened Inheritor
DEAR BURDENED INHERITOR: Sit down with your husband and tell him that your grandmother’s inheritance is off-limits. You will no longer be using any of it for your daily life, so he will have to get a job. If he refuses and assumes that you and your inheritance will now be the principal provider for your family, you will have to decide whether this is a dealbreaker. A healthy marriage requires shared values, planning, compromise and flexibility. If he is unwilling to budge on how to use your money, that should be a huge red flag.
I have a friend whose husband inherited a sizable amount of money from his family. They agreed that this money would be reserved for their children, should they have any, but not earmarked for any current use. In this way, the money would remain in the family for the next generation -- it was a plan for the future. Recommend something like that.