DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a really tough spot with my two best friends. Recently, they had a huge falling-out over something pretty serious, and it’s escalated to the point where they’re not speaking to each other. They’ve each been confiding in me about their side of the story, and while I’ve been trying my best to listen and be supportive, it feels like they’re each expecting me to take sides. The problem is, I care about both of them deeply, and I don’t want to lose either friendship. I feel like if I lean too much toward one friend, the other will feel betrayed, and I could end up caught in the middle of their drama. I hate the idea of being forced to choose between them or having to take on the role of mediator.

On top of this, it’s becoming exhausting to constantly hear them vent about each other. I don’t want to seem unsupportive by asking them to stop, but I also don’t want to get dragged into their conflict or let it affect my own mental health. How can I maintain my relationships with both of them without getting pulled into their issues? -- Friend Chasm

DEAR FRIEND CHASM: The best thing you can do is stop talking to each of them about the other. Draw a line, and tell them how much you love them and want to remain friends with both of them. You are so sorry that they are fighting right now, but you do not want to take sides or have to choose between them. Once the boundary is clear, stop engaging either of them on this topic. Hopefully, you will be able to maintain both friendships. Better yet, it will be amazing if the two of them would rekindle their relationship. In the meantime, the way you can protect yourself is to disengage from any conversation about their issues.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Due to some recent financial struggles, I’m going to have to move in with my brother temporarily. While I’m grateful that he’s willing to help me out, I’m really anxious about how it’s going to go. The biggest issue is that his wife isn’t thrilled about the idea of me living with them. We’ve had a rocky relationship, and I know she’s going along with this only because my brother insisted. The main source of tension is that she’s very particular about her home. She has a bit of an obsessive-compulsive streak when it comes to cleanliness and organization, and even the smallest things being out of place can set her off. I know I’ll need to be extra mindful, but I’m worried that no matter how careful I am, there’s a chance I’ll slip up and end up upsetting her. I don’t want to add to the stress in their household or make things harder for my brother, but I also want to feel somewhat comfortable in what will be my temporary home. How can I navigate this situation so that I respect her boundaries and keep the peace? -- OCD

DEAR OCD: Speak to your sister-in-law. Tell her you will do your best to honor the rules of her home. Do not leave items of yours out anywhere in the home. Be sure to keep your room tidy as well. Apologize if you upset her. It is her house. Meanwhile, save your money and get out as soon as possible. It's best that you avoid getting too comfortable, because you need to remember that this arrangement is temporary.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 32 years old, and I still don’t have my driver’s license. This has always been a sensitive issue for me, and while I know it’s unusual at my age, I just don’t feel comfortable driving. My family has been patient over the years, helping me get around whenever I need it, but lately, they’ve been vocal about their frustrations. They keep pushing me to get my license and learn to drive, saying it’s time for me to be more independent. The truth is, I’m really scared of learning how to drive. The idea of being behind the wheel makes me anxious, and I worry about the possibility of getting into an accident or making a mistake that could put myself and others in danger. I feel like no one really understands this fear; they just think I’m being difficult or lazy. Every time they bring it up, it adds to my anxiety and makes me want to avoid the whole topic altogether.

I don’t want to be a burden on my family, and I know driving would make life easier for everyone, including myself. How can I approach this situation so that my family understands what I’m going through? And is there any way to start building confidence to finally face my fear of driving? -- Fear of Driving

DEAR FEAR OF DRIVING: Facing your fears is wise, even if you do not become a driver. In this way, you can conquer whatever is troubling you. My recommendation would be to take a driver’s education class to learn how to drive safely alongside an expert driver. This way, you can grow accustomed to the feeling of being behind the wheel and controlling a vehicle. It's just a class, not a commitment to get the license.

If this seems too daunting, consider getting a therapist to work through this phobia with you. Even if you never become a driver, it’s good for you to eliminate the fear and embrace your abilities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend told me some secrets from her company. I asked her about it, and she mentioned that she had signed a nondisclosure agreement. I told her not to share this information with anyone else, as it is part of the contract she signed for her safety. She replied that I was just overreacting and that no one would find out aside from me. I’m concerned about the potential consequences if she shares these secrets. It’s important for her to understand the seriousness of the situation. I want to support her, but I also need to help her realize the risks involved. What should I tell her to emphasize the importance of keeping this information confidential? -- Breach

DEAR BREACH: Sit your friend down and tell her you need to have a serious conversation. Tell her you appreciate how much she trusts you, but you don’t think she understands the meaning of confidentiality. Explain that it means she should not be telling you -- or anyone else -- anything covered by that nondisclosure agreement. She may recall how easily secrets spread when she was a kid. One person would tell another something and they would promise not to share it, yet somehow it sped along a communication path until everyone knew about it. The same happens with adults.

When you violate an NDA, you run the risk of being sued, losing your job or both. Encourage her to keep protected information to herself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 20-year-old daughter recently got her cosmetology license and has started working at a salon. She’s excited about her new job and the independence it brings, but now she’s telling me she wants to move out and get her own apartment. She says she’s ready for the next step and wants her own space to feel more "grown-up." The problem is, I’m not convinced she’s fully prepared for everything that comes with living on her own.

While she’s making decent money, she hasn’t been at her job long, and she hasn’t saved up much yet. I worry she’s underestimating the expenses involved and may struggle to keep up with bills, rent and other unexpected costs. Plus, I’m concerned that, with the way the job market is, she might need more of a financial cushion if anything were to go wrong. I know part of me just isn’t ready to let go, but I’m genuinely concerned that she’s moving too quickly. I want to support her dreams, but I don’t want her to jump into something she might not be ready for. How can I help her see the bigger picture without discouraging her or coming across as overly protective? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: Do not discourage your daughter. Instead, encourage her to make a budget for the year and map out her expenses and potential income. If she wants to go out on her own, support her. Let her know what you are willing and able to contribute if she needs help. Be clear and specific so she doesn’t attempt to rely on you more than is realistic. Let her know she can come home if things don’t work out -- no questions asked.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been thinking about leaving my husband, but I don’t think I can afford to be on my own. Our lives and expenses are completely entangled -- even though we have been estranged for a long time. My girlfriend suggested I just stay and build a separate life, but I feel uncomfortable about that. I am afraid of what to do next. Whenever I try to talk to him about our problems, he yells at me and says it’s all my fault. He refuses to get therapy, too. What do I do next when I am scared to do anything? -- Paralyzed

DEAR PARALYZED: Get yourself a therapist -- someone with whom you can talk through your issues to get a professional, unbiased opinion and guidance. You may also want to talk to a financial adviser to figure out a way forward with the financial resources that you do have. Finally, consult with an attorney who can inform you of the laws of your state regarding division of resources upon divorce. All of this information will help you to determine next steps. Do know that even when there are no financial concerns, extricating yourself from a marriage can be difficult. Give yourself time to figure it out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)