DEAR HARRIETTE: About a month ago, I accidentally got my friend sick. I had a bad cold and didn’t realize how contagious I was until she caught it from me. Unfortunately, her symptoms were even worse than mine. She had a high fever and was completely out of commission for days. The worst part is that she was supposed to go on a vacation she had been looking forward to for years. She had saved up for this trip for a long time, carefully planning every detail, but because of how sick she got, she was forced to cancel. Due to her packed schedule, she couldn’t reschedule, meaning all the money she had spent on flights, hotels and activities was lost.

I feel absolutely terrible about the situation. I never meant to ruin her plans, and I’ve tried reaching out multiple times to apologize and check on her, but she won’t respond. She hasn’t spoken to me at all since this happened, and I’m starting to think she’s cutting me out of her life. I don’t blame her for being upset, but I miss her and don’t want to lose our friendship over this. How do I make things right? -- Guilty

DEAR GUILTY: You cannot make your friend respond to you. What you can do is give her time. If you have the means, you could also offer to defray some of the cost of her dream trip. What you learned, unfortunately, is that illness is real. When people are sick, they should stay home and rest. Even if you don’t have COVID-19, what you have might be contagious and harmful to others. Don’t forget the lesson moving forward.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband recently got a well-deserved raise at work, and I am so proud of him. He has worked hard for this, putting in long hours and taking on extra responsibilities. When he told me the news, I was thrilled and suggested we do something special to celebrate together -- maybe go out for a nice dinner, take a weekend trip or even just have a fun night at home to acknowledge his accomplishment. To my surprise, he shut me down immediately. He seemed completely uninterested in celebrating with me and instead said he’d rather go out with his friends.

I understand that he wants to enjoy his success with them, but the way he dismissed my excitement hurt my feelings. It felt like I wasn’t even a part of his big moment, even though I’ve been supporting him through all the stress and late nights. I don’t want to seem needy or make a big deal out of this, but I can’t shake the feeling that he doesn’t prioritize me over others in his life. Am I overreacting? Should I talk to him about how I feel or just let it go? -- Snubbed

DEAR SNUBBED: You should definitely say something to your husband. Acknowledge that it is great for him to party with his friends, but let him know that you also want to do something special with him. Tell him that it hurt your feelings that he seemed uninterested. You can point out that you have been at his side throughout this process, and you want to celebrate with him. Ask him why he doesn’t want to do that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor sometimes seeks out my husband before she thinks to call me. She is a bit older than me and my husband, and we’ve been friends for the past 20 years or so, but I wonder why she is so fond of my hubby. She and I hang out sometimes, too, but the other night she seemed to be feeling ill and asked my husband to stop by for support. We live right next to each other. Her husband died recently, and she is getting older, so we often check on her, but I don’t know. I wonder: Is this some strange jealousy, or do I have valid concerns? -- Clingy Neighbor

DEAR CLINGY NEIGHBOR: Trust your instincts. Whether or not it is innocent, it looks like your neighbor is seeking comfort from your man now that she no longer has one. You can use humor to dissipate this. Next time you are in her company, jokingly tell her you’re watching her: “Keep your hands off my man!” or some such. Make it clear to her that you care about her and appreciate her friendship, and you should be her go-to friend.

Alert your husband as well. Point out that your neighbor seems to be extra clingy to him right now. While you trust him, you want him to be aware of what you have observed. You don’t have a problem with them being friends, but you have noticed that she seems to be relying on him more than feels healthy.

Perhaps you can visit her only as a couple for a while. Reset the boundaries in your relationship. Invite her to come over to your home as well. Support her in this time of her life, but make it clear that the two of you are a unit.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a social media influencer. I’m still fairly new to all this. I’ve been on social media for a while, but in the past year or two, things have changed drastically, and my following grew. There are many upsides to having this larger community, but there are a few downsides I wasn’t really prepared for. How do you deal with harsh or negative feedback? How do I create boundaries on a public platform? -- Tough Crowd

DEAR TOUGH CROWD: Establishing values as you build your audience is important. You can let your community know that while you do welcome constructive criticism, you expect people to be respectful. Tell them that if they go too far with vitriolic statements, you will block them. Explain your values clearly so that everyone knows what crossing the line looks like. You have to be clear about this; otherwise, you could get backlash from your audience.

There’s a fine line here, because you want to establish a space where people feel like they can express their opinions. At the same time, you must establish tone and guidelines on what you deem acceptable communication. Figure it out and tell them. Then, when people cross the line, block them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is someone in my life I care about deeply. She is kind to me and encourages me to pursue my dreams, travel more, explore new hobbies and a whole lot more. I show up for her, too, and do my best to be supportive, but I struggle with romance and affection. I’ve never been good at those things, and it never felt like a priority to change that. But I think it’s taking a toll on her. I want her to know that I love her, but I really don’t know how to express myself. -- No Romance

DEAR NO ROMANCE: Your letter is somewhat vague. Are you dating this woman? Is this supposed to be a romantic relationship, but it is not because you haven’t taken a romantic step with her? It sounds like you need to decide what you want this relationship to be and talk to her about your intentions.

You say that you have never been good at romance or affection. Why? Did something happen in your life that shut down that part of you? Do you want to be close to this woman? Is she expecting a romantic overture? Is the type of relationship you want strictly platonic? Whatever your intentions are, you need to make it clear to her so that she’s not waiting and wondering. If you need help sorting it out, engage a therapist who can assist you in unpacking whatever is going on in your inner world.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father and I are estranged and have been my entire life. He and my mom had me when they were young -- 19 or 20, I believe. My mom loved me and did the best she could with me, and her mother helped do the job as well. Eventually I realized who my father was and that a lot of people in my town knew him and his new family. He is married and has a few other children, apparently. Recently, he reached out and sent me a letter that basically explained all the reasons he never showed up for me, none of which seemed valid to me -- he was too young, his mom didn’t approve, he didn’t know how to be a dad, etc. For some reason, though, my mom really wants me to give him a chance. Why is that? -- Absent Dad

DEAR ABSENT DAD: The fact that you have a dad who is now reaching out means something, even though you don’t know him. It doesn’t require you to do anything, but aren’t you curious? Who is this man? As an adult who has made many different choices since he and your mother created you as teenagers, he has built a life. What can you learn from him? It could be beneficial to you simply to meet him and learn a bit about him. You can do that without expectations. You have a complete life without him, so you don’t need to go into the meeting hoping for anything. Go and listen to what he has to say. Learn who he is. Just be present. After you meet him, if you decide you want to get to know him, great. If not, you don’t have an obligation to do anything more.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)