The Times of India reports that Soni Devi, 20, of Vaishali district, petitioned the state women's commission on Jan. 9 for divorce from her husband of two years, Manish Ram, 23, complaining, "My husband stinks as he won't shave and bathe for nearly 10 days at a stretch. Moreover, he doesn't brush his teeth. He also doesn't have manners and follow etiquette. ... Kindly get me rid of this man; he has ruined my life." Commission member Pratima Sinha told the Times, "I was taken aback by her silly reasons," but nonetheless, the commission will give the husband "two months' time to mend his ways. If his behavior is not found satisfactory even after that, we will ... refer the matter to the family court for separation." Manish reportedly promised to mend his ways. [Times of India, 1/10/2020]

Irony

Sauntore Thomas, 44, of Detroit, presented three checks at his bank on Jan. 21 that he had received as settlement in a race discrimination lawsuit against his former employer, according to the Detroit Free Press. Instead of accepting the checks, TCF Bank in Livonia, where Thomas was an established customer, summoned police and initiated a fraud investigation. Thomas' attorney, Deborah Gordon, told the Free Press, "Obviously, assumptions were made the minute he walked in based on his race." Thomas finally closed his existing accounts, left the bank and deposited the checks at a different bank without any trouble. The next day, Thomas filed a lawsuit against TCF Bank alleging race discrimination and asking for unspecified damages and an apology from the company. [Detroit Free Press, 1/23/2020]

Overreaction

The moral of this story: Don't hog the bacon. Gregory Seipel, 47, of Ludlow Falls, Ohio, was arrested on Jan. 30 after being accused of attacking a man with a knife during an argument over bacon, WHIO-TV reported. The unnamed victim told Miami County Sheriff's officers he had made bacon that morning for breakfast, and Seipel took issue with the amount he had eaten. The argument escalated until Seipel allegedly grabbed the victim by the back of the head and held a razor blade to his neck, cutting him. Seipel was charged with felonious assault and was held on $50,000 bond. [WHIO, 2/3/2020]

Valentine's Greetings

-- If you'd like to get a special gift for an ex this Valentine's Day, Centre Wildlife Care in Port Matilda, Pennsylvania, has just the thing. In exchange for a donation to a fund for restoring local bat populations, the rescue organization will name a mealworm after your ex, and Betsy the large brown bat will eat it. Donate more than $45, and you'll receive a personalized video of Betsy devouring the treat. "Essentially, people will be naming the mealworms after someone they don't like," Executive Director Robyn Graboski told WTAJ, "and we will feed them to the bat." [WTAJ, 2/3/2020]

-- If you have lifetime commitment on your mind this Valentine's Day, Domino's Australia wants to help out. The pizza chain announced a contest on Feb. 3 in which the winner will receive a diamond-encrusted engagement ring in the shape of a pizza slice worth $9,000, Fox News reported. Fans can enter with a 30-second video detailing "how you will involve pizza in your proposal," according to the company. Good luck! [Fox News, 2/3/2020]

Life Imitates a TV Drama

Two chemistry professors at Henderson State University in Arkadelphia, Arkansas, were formally charged on Feb. 3 with manufacturing methamphetamines and possession, KTHV reported. Terry David Bateman, 45, and Bradley Allen Rowland, 40, both associate professors, were arrested on Nov. 15 and had been on administrative leave since Oct. 11, after the science center on campus was closed because of a chemical odor. It reopened on Oct. 29 after testing, but in the meantime, according to court documents, faculty members reported to the Clark County Sheriff's Office the two were acting in a way that indicated "these persons were involved in some type of illegal activity." The suspects had also lost weight and were "extremely guarded" about who was in their laboratories and when. (Should have sprung for the RV.) [KTHV, 2/3/2020]

Unintended Consequences

In the fall of 2018, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement launched Fortify Florida, an app intended for students to anonymously report suspicious activity. Since then, more than 6,000 tips have been received statewide, but school officials are feeling mostly frustration, reports WFTS in Tampa. Indian River County Superintendent Dr. David Moore said students will "talk about the flavor of the food in the cafeteria." Pasco Superintendent Kurt Browning said, "The number of kids entering bogus tips is consuming a great deal of resources. ... There's a coyote in my front yard," was one example. Indian River Country authorities spent hours investigating a report of a student planning to shoot up a high school, only to find out it was a revenge report for a recent breakup. Florida lawmakers are considering a bill to allow authorities to track tipsters' IP addresses and prosecute those who submit false information. [WFTS, 2/3/2020]

Compelling Explanation

Ottawa, Ontario, businessman Bruce McConville, 55, who ran for mayor in the last election with a tough-on-crime platform, has gone to great lengths to avoid paying his ex-wife the spousal and child support he was ordered by the court to provide. The Ottawa Citizen reports McConville has long defied several court orders involving his finances, finally telling Superior Court Justice Kevin Phillips he withdrew over $1 million (Canadian) from six bank accounts, but he no longer had the cash. "I burnt it," he told the incredulous judge, who replied, "I don't believe you, I don't trust you, I don't think you're honest," and on Jan. 28 sentenced McConville to 30 days in jail, after which he'll face penalties of $2,000 for each day he fails to provide a full account of his finances, including where the $1 million-plus in cash is. The fines will be paid directly to his ex-wife. "You cannot thumb your nose at the court as you have done," Phillips warned. [Ottawa Citizen, 2/4/2020]

Inexplicable

David Baird of Yukon, Oklahoma, took up arms against his neighbor, John Stafford, after Stafford went on a bizarrely violent rant on Feb. 5, KFOR reported. Stafford assaulted the neighborhood for 12 hours, throwing feces into the Bairds' yard and trying to break down a fence using a Roomba vacuum cleaner. As he and his family took shelter in their home, Baird warned Stafford: "If you break through this fence, I will have to shoot you." Finally the bomb squad and SWAT team were called in, and Stafford barricaded himself inside his home, making six calls to 911 during the ordeal. "I am going to run you guys into the f-ing ground," he said during one. "OK, have a nice night," the dispatcher replied. Eventually officers released cans of pepper spray to budge Stafford from his house. He was charged with planning an act of violence. [KFOR, 2/6/2020]

Matthew Davies, 47, of Dunfermline, Scotland, pleaded guilty on Jan. 17 to assault and robbery in the case of a bumbling Bank of Scotland holdup in September, the Daily Record reported. On that day, Davies charged into the bank with a meat cleaver in hand and a pillowcase over his head. Unfortunately, he had neglected to cut eyeholes in the pillowcase and therefore couldn't see -- so he had to take it off. Undeterred, Davies used the cleaver to batter a glass partition on the counter and eventually took off with almost 2,000 pounds, casually wandering toward home, even stopping to pet a dog along the way. One brave customer of the bank followed Davies to his home and alerted police; there they found cash and the pillowcase, along with a stun gun. He'll be sentenced in February. [Daily Record, 1/18/2020]

Police Report

Antoine McDonald, 21, of Altamonte Springs, Florida, became famous last year for dressing up as the Easter Bunny in Orlando, but he found his costume unhelpful on Jan. 16 after ramming his motorcycle into a carport, which collapsed on a car parked there, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. The motorcycle then hit a fence and flipped over, and a neighbor observed the Easter Bunny limping away from the scene. When officers caught up with McDonald, lying in the back ßseat of a car, he denied involvement in the crash: "I wasn't in any crash. I'm the Orlando Easter Bunny. Google it," he claimed. "The bunny appeared to be alive," officers reported, according to the Orlando Sentinel, and they asked him to remove the costume before arresting him and transporting him to the hospital for rib and leg injuries sustained in the crash. [Orlando Sentinel, 1/24/2020]

People With Issues

-- A mystery was solved on Jan. 22 in Natick, Massachusetts, when police arrested Andrea F. Grocer, 51, of Ashland, on suspicion of defecating in front of the Natick Outdoor Store eight times over the last four months. Henry Kanner, the store's owner, had reported the incidents to police in December, and officers first thought an animal might be the culprit -- until they found "toilet paper and other wipes," Natick police spokesperson Lt. Cara Rossi told The MetroWest Daily News. Some of the incidents had been recorded by surveillance video, but police hadn't been able to identify a license plate. During extra patrols of the parking lot, they spotted Grocer at 6:51 a.m. as she prepared to leave her mark again, police said. "I have no idea who she is," Kanner said, adding that he knows of no connection she has with the store. Grocer's lawyer described her as a "pillar of the community." [MetroWest Daily News, 1/22/2020]

-- Now-retired high school English teacher Jeffrey S. Churchwell, 60, of Elkhorn, Wisconsin, apologized to Walworth County Sheriff's deputies in October and admitted that he had been defecating, sometimes several times a day, since 2017 outside and on a building in the rural Natureland Park in Whitewater. The Milton Courier reported Brent Brooks of the Walworth County Highway Shop met with deputies in October about the repeated offenses, which required parks department workers to power-wash and sometimes repaint facilities, on top of picking up used toilet paper. Trail cameras recorded the man relieving himself, and deputies caught up with Churchwell on Oct. 8. When asked why, he replied, "Stupidity," according to sheriff's office reports. Churchwell was charged with disorderly conduct and was ordered to pay more than $6,000 in fines and restitution. He was put on leave from the Milton School District on Nov. 25; his retirement took effect Jan. 16. [Milton Courier, 1/2/2020]

Unclear on the Concept

United Press International reported that an unnamed man in Orlando, Florida, got a little mixed up as he tried to fill his boat's gas tank before a fishing trip on Jan. 27. Rather than putting the gas nozzle into the fuel tank, the man inserted it into a fishing pole holder and pumped 30 gallons of gas directly into the cockpit. Orange County Fire Rescue was called to the 7-Eleven, and a hazmat team siphoned most of the errant gas from the boat before the fisherman filled up the actual tank and went on his way. [UPI, 1/28/2020]

Oops!

In June 2019, the city of Roubaix, France, proudly announced it had installed 187 solar panels to generate electricity for the city's library, and paid a local company about $113,000 for the "green" equipment. But during the installation of a wind turbine to supplement the clean energy effort in December, workers noticed the solar panels had never been connected to the library's electrical network. Oddity Central reported the panels were intended to supply about a quarter of the library's needed power, but "we realized this was not the case," admitted Alexandre Garcin, the city's deputy mayor, who did not elaborate on why it took six months to figure out the oversight. [Oddity Central, 1/29/2020]

Creepy

Houston mother Emily Madonia's nightmare began in 2015, when the Elsa (from "Frozen") doll her daughter received for Christmas 2013 began reciting lines from the movie in both English and Spanish; originally it had only spoken English. Next, the doll began speaking and singing randomly, even when her on/off switch was in the OFF position. In December 2019, Madonia threw the doll out, Click2Houston reported, but she and her husband later found the doll in a bench inside their home. So they double wrapped the doll in plastic bags and "put it in the bottom of our garbage can," Madonia wrote on Facebook. Days later, her daughter found the doll again in the backyard. Finally, Madonia sent the doll to a friend who lives in Minnesota, where it remained at press time. In the meantime, Madonia has been contacted by paranormal investigators and the Travel Channel. [Click2Houston, 1/18/2020]

Suspicions Confirmed. Not.

Ben Lilly, 40, on his way to Halifax in West Yorkshire, England, on Jan. 25 passed an object in the road that looked like a dead animal -- a leopard, to be specific. Lilly stopped and turned around, carefully approaching the large cat. He told Metro News his heart was racing and he was afraid his face might be "ripped off" by the beast. "I saw the markings on it. It had the tail bit on it, too," Lilly said. "But as soon as I looked at it from the other angle, I started laughing." It turned out to be a leopard-print jumpsuit, complete with tail. Lilly speculated on Facebook it might be "some tart's coat from last night. ... It was Saturday morning and Halifax is a bit of a drinking town." [Metro News, 1/30/2020]

-- Officers of the North Wales (England) Police believe they have solved, with help from the government Animal and Plant Health Agency, the mystery of why more than 200 starlings were found dead in a road in Bodedern on Dec. 10. Rob Taylor of the police force's rural crime team revealed that the birds suffered severe internal trauma, "support(ing) the case that the birds died from impact with the road," he told Sky News. "It's highly likely the murmuration took avoiding action whilst airborne, from possibly a bird of prey, with the rear of the group not pulling up in time and striking the ground." [Sky News, 1/16/2020]

-- In the western German city of Kleve, a regional court in mid-January overruled a lower court and awarded the owner of a chicken mauled by a dog higher restitution because the chicken had TV experience. Sieglinde the chicken, who died in the attack, had completed 10 hours of acting training and had appeared in at least one German movie, for which she received a three-figure daily fee. The court ordered the dog's owner to pay 615 euros (about $680) in damages, the Associated Press reported. A regular chicken is worth about 15 euros. [Associated Press, 1/17/2020]

Weird Science

On Jan. 22, the National Weather Service expanded its cold-weather warnings in South Florida to include falling iguanas along with falling temperatures. According to the Associated Press, the NWS alerted folks that the reptiles can become stunned by the cold and fall from their perches in trees. As temperatures rise during the day, they wake up, unharmed. Males can grow to 5 feet long and weigh 20 pounds. They aren't considered to be dangerous to humans (unless they land on your head). [Associated Press, 1/22/2020]

Animal Farm

A Polish pig farmer in his 70s who had been missing since Dec. 31 is believed to have been eaten by his livestock, Fox News reported. Lubin District Prosecutor Magdalena Serafin told local media the farmer's remains, consisting of bones and skull fragments, were found by a neighbor, who called police after spotting the bones while fetching water from a nearby well on Jan. 8. The farmer's animals were roaming freely in the yard, and officials indicated it was clear that the pigs had feasted on him. They suspect he died of a fall or heart attack. [Fox News, 1/17/2020]

Extreme Measures

An unnamed 55-year-old man from the town of Pitalito, Colombia, got cold feet before his scheduled marriage over the weekend of Jan. 18, but lacked the courage to tell his fiancee. Instead, with the help of his best friends, he faked his own kidnapping, reported Oddity Central. The groom's pals told authorities they had seen a group of armed men on motorcycles abduct their friend, and because kidnappings for extortion are not unknown in Colombia, the local police responded in force. Police Commander Nestor Vargas ordered roads closed, sealing off the town, and began a search. That's when the friends got nervous and admitted they'd made the whole thing up. Authorities kept the groom's identity a secret to protect him from other townspeople, who've been down this road before: This is the second time the groom has left a bride waiting at the altar. He and his cohorts will likely face jail time of up to six years. [Oddity Central, 1/21/2020]

Oops!

-- In Toronto, the streetcar tunnel into Queen Quay Station is protected by an automatic gate, rumble strips, flashing lights and signs warning automobile drivers not to enter. But at 2 a.m. on Jan. 22, one driver managed to ignore or overlook all the warnings, driving his car about 600 meters through the tunnel before arriving at Union Station and becoming stuck on a concrete block, the CBC reported. "We're sort of hard-pressed to think of any other measures we can take at this point" to deter drivers, a spokesman for the Toronto Transit Commission said, "short of closing the tunnel, and that's not an option." [CBC, 1/22/2020]

-- It's been unseasonably cold in Florida (see Falling Iguanas item above), and one St. Petersburg man apparently became so desperate for warmth on Jan. 21 he set fire to a stack of paperwork in his apartment around 3 a.m. WFLA reported that the flames Mark Okrent, 66, ignited were significant enough to trigger smoke detectors, which summoned the fire department, but no one in the 30-unit building was hurt in the incident. Except Okrent, who was charged with first-degree arson. [WFLA, 1/23/2020]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

If you've always thought those nail clippers in your kitchen drawer were a harmless tool, think again. Kathleen Ayala, 30, has been charged with murder in Cumberland County, New Jersey, following an altercation with her husband on Jan. 12, the Associated Press reported. Authorities said Ayala, of Millville, and 35-year-old Axel Torres got into an argument in their home that became physical, and Torres left the premises. Ayala chased after him and stabbed him numerous times with the nail file tool on the clippers, causing wounds to his feet, hands, shoulders and left leg. When police arrived, they found Torres unresponsive and transported him to the hospital, where he died the next morning. [AP via WABC, 1/14/2020]

The Last Straw

After numerous complaints going back six months, according to a neighbor, Robert Wayne Miller, 57, was arrested at his home Zephyrhills, Florida, home on Dec. 22 for disturbing the peace with his lawn mower. Body-camera footage obtained by WFLA shows Pasco County Deputy Michael O'Donnell arriving at Miller's property and calling out to him, followed by a revving of the mower's engine. "I've had four people come out and tell me that they can't take it anymore," O'Donnell told Miller, who responded, "Whatever," before turning on the mower again. Dwaine White, who lives across the street, told The Washington Post the mower isn't even capable of cutting grass. "He'll run that tractor all night, and it echoes all over the neighborhood," White said. Miller was ultimately arrested for disturbing the peace and not complying with a law enforcement officer's command. If convicted, he could spend 18 months in jail and pay a $1,500 fine. [The Washington Post, 12/27/2019]

Awesome!

Downtown Winston-Salem, North Carolina, is a little safer these days, thanks to the efforts of Night Watch, a helpful vigilante dressed in all black, with his face partially covered and wearing reflective goggles, WGHP reported on Jan. 22. "I'm not looking to be a Batman and go around beating up criminals," he told a reporter. Instead, he's an anonymous superhero who's been patrolling the nighttime streets for about a month, hauling around a bag filled with food, clothing and toiletries for those in need. "There is no prerequisite for being a good person," Night Watch said. On that night, he helped out about a dozen homeless people in the community. "It's just nice that people aren't totally freaked out," he said. "Now they know who I am and that I'm trying to help." [Fox8, 1/22/2020]