LEAD STORY -- Too Hot to Handle

The Sun reported on Jan. 18 that a woman in the United Kingdom suffered an "inferno" in her living room after a candle exploded as she was lighting it. Jody Thompson, 50, won the candle, labeled "This Candle Smells Like My Vagina," in an online quiz from Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop website. "The candle exploded and emitted huge flames," Thompson said, "with bits flying everywhere. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch." Thompson and her partner "eventually got it under control and threw it out the front door." [The Sun, 1/18/2021]

In Plane Sight

On Jan. 16 at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport, two employees of United Airlines approached a man and asked for his ID. Aditya Singh, 36, of Orange, California, produced an employee badge, but it was not his: Another employee had reported it missing on Oct. 26, the Chicago Tribune reported. Authorities said Singh had arrived at O'Hare on Oct. 19 from Los Angeles and was too afraid to fly back home because of COVID-19, so he hid in a secured area of the airport for three months, living off food given to him by strangers. Singh is unemployed but has a master's degree in hospitality and doesn't have a criminal background. He was charged with felony criminal trespass. [Chicago Tribune, 1/17/2021]

The Devil Made Them Do It

Members of Poughkeepsie, New York's Church of Satan are down in the dumps this week after someone torched their gathering place, known as "Halloween House," on Jan. 14. According to the Poughkeepsie Journal, video footage shows a person carrying two gas cans, splashing liquid on the front porch, lighting it and running away. Two people who were inside at the time escaped unharmed; the arsonist has not been caught. "Sadly there are some 'people of faith' who are intolerant, and typically ignorant, of other belief systems," noted Church of Satan high priest Peter H. Gilmore. Church member Isis Vermouth called the arson a "terror attack. Whoever did this is going to be hexed by all of us," she said. "I just don't understand why anyone would want to piss off Satanic witches. 'Cause now there's going to be hell to pay." [Poughkeepsie Journal, 1/19/2021]

Unclear on the Concept

Nicholas Debetes, 18, was finally placed in handcuffs in Titusville, Florida, on Jan. 14, after Brevard County officers chased him as he drove "at an extremely high rate of speed" to his mother's trailer. Debetes, Click Orlando reported, had a unique excuse: "If I would have tried to stop quicker I would have crashed the vehicle," he told police. He went on to say that his mother wanted him home for an unknown reason. Debetes had an outstanding warrant and was driving a stolen Hyundai Elantra. [Click Orlando, 1/18/2021]

Police Report

In Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, Curtis McCoy, 46, and his husband of 10 years got into a spat "that escalated since they have been drinking alcohol" on Jan. 17, police reported. The argument got out of hand when McCoy "brought up how the victim has only one testicle which caused the victim to get upset," according to The Smoking Gun. When the victim pointed his finger at McCoy, he grabbed and twisted it, "causing him pain." McCoy was arrested for domestic violence; his criminal history includes shoplifting, disorderly conduct, assault, larceny and other offenses. [The Smoking Gun, 1/19/2021]

Irony

Esequiel Robles, 40, was caught after a traffic stop in Williston, North Dakota, with methamphetamine and drug paraphernalia on Jan. 14. The Smoking Gun reported that Robles was on probation for narcotics possession at the time, following a 2019 conviction for meth possession. Notably, however, when Robles was arrested, he was wearing a T-shirt with the message, "Don't Do Drugs." Do as I say, not as I do. [The Smoking Gun, 1/15/2021]

Least Competent Criminals

-- On Jan. 7, police received a call from a 7-Eleven store in Lehi, Utah, where earlier in the day a man wearing a "sheriff's deputy" jacket stole a doughnut, then left in a white pickup truck. KUTV reported that Lehi police examined surveillance video and tracked the truck to a nearby motel parking lot, where they knocked on the door of 47-year-old Daniel Mark Wright, who was staying there. As officers spoke with Wright, they saw a Salt Lake County Sheriff's jacket hanging in the room's closet. They arrested Wright for impersonation of an officer and theft, along with receiving or transfer of a stolen vehicle in relation to the truck. Wright, his companion, Christian Olson, and another accomplice are also under investigation for racketeering. [KUTV, 1/18/2021]

-- Leobardo Hernandez, 32, of Pomona, California, went to extraordinary lengths on Jan. 16 to evade police after allegedly stealing a car. As Hernandez ran from officers, he entered an apartment complex and found an unlocked door, the Daily Bulletin reported. The apartment residents were not at home, so Hernandez moved right in, shaving his face, changing clothes and even cooking tortillas to make it seem as if he lived there. Unfortunately, he also burned the tortillas, summoning the fire department. Hernandez eventually surrendered and was charged with burglary and possession of a stolen vehicle among other offenses. [Daily Bulletin, 1/18/2021]

Awwwwww

Russell Jones of London couldn't figure out why his dog, Billy, was favoring one of his front paws while walking. He took the pet to the veterinarian to have X-rays, United Press International reported, but the vet found nothing wrong. Jones, however, had recently broken his own ankle and was wearing a cast and limping. At the $400 vet visit, the doctor suggested that Billy was simply imitating his owner. Man's best friend, indeed. [United Press International, 1/19/2021]

What's in a Name?

Before social distancing and masks became the world's norm, CBS News reported on Jan. 12, Paul O'Sullivan of Baltimore was noodling around on Facebook one night, searching for other Paul O'Sullivans. Several of those he found accepted his friend request, which was when he noticed that some were musicians, as he was. Baltimore Paul, as he's known, reached out to others, and eventually he and three others formed the Paul O'Sullivan Band. Manchester Paul plays bass; Pennsylvania Paul is the percussionist; and Baltimore Paul and Rotterdam Paul play guitar and sing. They recorded a single at the beginning of 2020, but when COVID hit, they thought it was a great opportunity to make a whole album. "It feels great to be able to contact people on the other side of the world when you're in lockdown because you don't feel alone at the moment," commented Rotterdam Paul. "If you learn to play an instrument, it can help you through some dark times," said Manchester Paul. [CBS News, 1/12/2021]

Government in Action

Bigfoot hunters in Oklahoma will be happy to know that their pastime could get its own season, KOKH reported. State Rep. Justin Humphrey introduced a bill on Jan. 20 asking the Oklahoma Wildlife Commission to establish a Bigfoot hunting season, "set annual season dates and create any necessary specific hunting licenses and fees." Southeastern and south-central Oklahoma is infamous for Bigfoot sightings, including a large festival (canceled this year because of COVID-19). If passed, the bill would become effective in November. [KOKH, 1/20/2021]

Two Florida residents, Brian Montalvo Tolentino, 43, of Davenport and Juan Burgos-Lopez, 39, of Lake Wales, admitted to police they had removed four human skulls from tombs they had robbed in Mount Dora, WKMG-TV reported. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd told local media on Jan. 8 that detectives serving a search warrant on Burgos-Lopez's property found a shed containing a ritualistic shrine and seven skulls the men told authorities they used in the practice of the Palo Mayombe religion. Three of the four graves robbed were of members of the armed forces because, Judd said, Lopez told authorities "the spirit is much stronger in a hero" and "it can protect you from evil." Before vandalizing the graves, Judd added, the men drank rum and spit it on the ground, then smoked a cigar and exhaled the smoke "to protect them from the spirits." DNA on the cigars led authorities to the suspects. [WKMG, 1/8/2021]

When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best

Romney Christopher Ellis, 57, of Indianapolis, was sentenced to four years and 10 months in prison on Jan. 5 by a federal court in Tampa, Florida, after waging a four-year-long campaign to harass and threaten his ex-wife, including at one point sending a package with a dead rat and a black rose to her home, according to court records. Ellis also threatened to decapitate her and set her on fire. Postal inspectors searched Ellis' home in February, reported the Associate Press, uncovering evidence, and he pleaded guilty in April. [Associated Press via WKMG, 1/6/2021]

People and Their Pets

-- The South Korean startup Petpuls Lab has announced it developed an AI dog collar that can help owners discern what emotions their pets are feeling based on how they bark. "This device gives a dog a voice so that humans can understand," the company's director of global marketing, Andrew Gil, told Reuters. The collar detects five emotions, and owners can find out through a smartphone app if their pets are happy, relaxed, anxious, angry or sad. Seoul National University tested the device and declared it has a 90% average accuracy rate. The collar sells for $99. [Reuters, 1/12/2021]

-- A couple in Sherbrooke, Quebec, were each fined $1,500 on Jan. 9, when police spotted the pair walking outside about an hour after the city's 8 p.m. curfew, with the husband wearing a leash, CTV News reported. The city's curfew allows for dog-walking after 8 p.m., but police rejected the couple's claim they were following the rules. It was the first weekend under new province-wide restrictions imposed by Premier Francois Legault, and officers throughout Quebec handed out more than 750 tickets. [CTV News, 1/12/2021]

Police Report

Police in the Japanese community of Funabashi City have arrested Ryusei Takada, 26, for allegedly stealing more than a dozen toilets from houses under construction. The Daily Mail reported the thefts began in October and continued, with local media dubbing the elusive thief the God of Toilets, until Takata flushed himself out by selling a brand-new fixture to a secondhand store in the city. Takada, a construction company office worker, admitted to the thefts and said he did it "to cover my living expenses." [The Daily Mail, 1/13/2021]

Inexplicable

An armed man wearing camouflage tactical gear approached a 23-year-old worker as she was leaving the Cranbourne West Lost Dogs Home in Melbourne, Australia, about 11:30 p.m. on Jan. 11 and demanded she turn over her cellphone, Detective Senior Sergeant Glen Cruse told the media. Victoria police said the man pointed his gun at the woman, then took her inside the shelter, tied her up and "asked where the cats were before he left the room and didn't return," the Daily Star reported. The woman freed herself and called for help; police are still looking for the man, and a motive. [Daily Star, 1/12/2021]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Veronica Gutierrez, 36, was arrested in Palm Springs, California, on Jan. 5 after allegedly carjacking an SUV that afternoon in Rosemead, an incident that was complicated by the fact that the car owner's 84-year-old mother was in the passenger seat at the time, according to authorities. Police Sgt. Richard Lewis said the owner had left the SUV's motor running with the heater on for her mother when the suspect drove off, eventually letting the mother go in Desert Hot Springs, more than 100 miles away. The East Bay Times reported the mother was unharmed, and Gutierrez was being held on suspicion of kidnapping for carjacking. [East Bay Times, 1/8/2021]

New Food

The European Food Safety Agency on Jan. 13 approved yellow grubs, aka mealworms, as its first insect "novel food," to be used whole and dried in curries and as flour to make pastas and breads, Reuters reported. Mealworms are rich in protein, fat and fiber, according to agency food scientist Ermolaos Ververis, and "there is great interest ... in the edible insect sector." But sociologists point out that "the so-called 'yuck factor' (may) make the thought of eating insects repellent to many Europeans," said consumer researcher Giovanni Sogari of the University of Parma in Italy. "With time and exposure, such attitudes can change," he added. [Reuters, 1/13/2021]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

An unidentified man, who authorities said appeared to be intoxicated, was taken into custody on Jan. 13 by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission after local U.S. Coast Guard crews found him onboard a stolen floating tiki hut near Hawk's Channel in Key West, WTVJ-TV reported. The man was charged with grand theft and resisting an officer without violence. The Coast Guard posted photos of the tiki hut and warned, "Don’t drink and boat!" [WTVJ, 1/14/2021]

Least Competent Criminals

Aasim J. Hilts, 26, of Albany, New York, and Shariff A. Frasier of Schenectady returned their rental car on Jan. 13, leaving behind an impressive amount of drugs and paraphernalia, The Daily Gazette reported. Albany County Sheriff's deputies were called and arrived about the same time Hilts and Frasier returned to pick up their forgotten items, authorities said, which included heroin, oxycodone pills pressed with fentanyl, marijuana and almost $6,000 in cash. Both men were arrested and face drug charges. [The Daily Gazette, 1/13/2021]

Awesome!

-- Joe the Pigeon, named after the new U.S. president, has become world-famous after being found in a Melbourne, Australia, backyard on Dec. 26 with a band around his leg that suggested he was a racing pigeon from Oregon, 8,000 miles away. Australian authorities declared the bird a biosecurity risk and announced they would have to euthanize him, the Associated Press reported, but Joe received a last-minute reprieve when Deone Roberts of the American Racing Pigeon Union declared on Jan. 15 that the band around Joe's leg is "counterfeit and not traceable." Australia's Agriculture Department agreed, saying in a statement that Joe "is highly likely to be Australian," and it would take no further action against him. [Associated Press, 1/14/2021]

-- Residents of Chikuzen Town, Fukuoka Prefecture, in Japan, have constructed a towering, 23-foot-tall gorilla scarecrow as a symbol of power and strength to scare away COVID-19. SoraNews24 reported construction of the gorilla, made of a steel frame covered with rice straw resembling gorilla fur, took two months and was finished in early December. Its open mouth reveals terrifying fangs, and at night its red eyes light up. "Proud Gorilla 2020" is the sixth in a series of giant scarecrows the town constructs each year. [SoraNews24, 1/14/2021]

The house for sale at 43 Courthouse Drive in Guildhall, Vermont, has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, an updated kitchen and seven jail cells, complete with barred windows, toilets and cots. United Press International reported that the property, listed for $149,000, used to serve as the Essex County jail, with the jailer's quarters attached to the back of the house. Out of use since 1969, the cells are now covered in dust and, according to the listing, just waiting for a creative buyer to "bring ... ideas on what this 28-foot-by-40-foot wing could be!" [United Press International, 12/30/2020]

Names in the News

When the car Jethro Geneus, 30, of Port St. Lucie, Florida, was riding in was pulled over by police in the early morning of Jan. 4, he told the officer the bags of brown and white substances found in his backpack were baking supplies -- "sugar and a bag of cornstarch to bake a cake," according to police. Geneus, who had an outstanding warrant, was taken into custody, WPEC reported, and the contents of both bags tested positive for molly or ecstasy. At the jail, Geneus dropped another bag of white powder, which tested positive for meth. He was charged with trafficking phenethylamines. [WPEC, 1/4/2021]

Unsocial Media

Caleb Burczyk, 29, of Williston, North Dakota, was arrested and charged with burglary and terrorizing on Dec. 26 for kicking in the front door of a former co-worker's home after the man apparently failed to answer Burczyk's Facebook friend requests, according to court documents. "Accept my friend request or I'm going to murder you," read one message, according to the affidavit, and another message said Burczyk would "come at" Thomas if he didn't accept. The Smoking Gun reported Burczyk pleaded not guilty and is scheduled for an April appearance in District Court. [The Smoking Gun, 12/31/2020]

Compelling Explanations

Holly Venderley, 20, of Bloomington, Indiana, told park rangers that she knew Mount Rushmore National Memorial was closed, and she knew she wasn't allowed to climb the South Dakota monument -- which is why she did it at night. The Rapid City Journal reported that a ranger monitoring security cameras saw a flashlight's beam moving along the slope of broken rocks just beneath George Washington on Jan. 3 and ran to the area, where he saw Venderley climbing to the base of Washington's lapel, about 200 feet up. The ranger demanded she get down, which she did. Venderley was sober and cooperative, and the next day she was fined $1,250 after pleading guilty to climbing the monument in federal court. [Rapid City Journal, 1/4/2021]

Government in Action

Massachusetts already has an official fossil, reported NECN-TV, and now state Rep. Jack Lewis, of Framingham, is proposing the selection of a state dinosaur as well. "With so much uncertainty in our world today, can you think of a better way to help kids (and those young at heart) learn about the legislative process than (by) naming an official Massachusetts State Dinosaur?" he wrote on Twitter on Jan. 4. Lewis posted links to an online survey where citizens can choose the species they'd like to represent them and said it got 150 votes in the first two hours. [NECN, 1/4/2021]

Questionable Judgment

Cam Faust and Kevin Joiner weren't sure at first how to react when, during a fishing trip on Jan. 3 near Darwin, Australia, they "heard this faint like 'ahhh ahhh,'" Faust told 9News, and found a naked man clinging to branches in the mangrove forest, filthy and covered with bug bites. Luke Voskresensky, 40, told them he'd gotten lost on his way to a New Year's Eve party a few days earlier and had been eating snails to stay alive. Faust and Joiner offered him a cold beer and a ride back to town where they found out the real reason Voskresensky was stranded in the croc-infested waters: He had been arrested for armed robbery and fitted with an ankle monitor, which he had broken before escaping bail. "I was going to go visit him in hospital," Faust said, but a paramedic said "'he's in hospital with handcuffs on, two cops babysitting him' so ... maybe we'll leave it." [9News, 1/5/2021]

Creme de la Weird

Ending a dispute that began in 2014, Judge Luo Shengli of the Beijing Xicheng District People's Court ruled in late December that a man identified only as Tian and his family must leave the hospital room they had been squatting in for six years. Tian had undergone a medical procedure at the hospital and spent a few days recovering there, accompanied by his family, but at discharge, Tian disputed the hospital's bill and refused to leave, Oddity Central reported. Tian's parents settled in with him, bringing pots and pans, groceries and other personal items from home. Over the years, the hospital took the family to court on multiple occasions and in 2019 even waived its fees in an effort to expel them, but the family countersued. In his ruling, the judge found the family was entitled to compensation of about $73,000, which they accepted, and they were taken home in a hospital ambulance. [Oddity Central, 1/5/2021]

Bright Idea

Thomas Dodd, 30, of Tamworth, Staffordshire, England, got into his cups over the Christmas holiday and was watching Celine Dion concerts on YouTube when he had a brainstorm: He would pay the 89 pounds to officially change his name to Celine Dion. Dodd forgot all about it until the papers arrived in the mail on Dec. 30, Metro News reported. "I wish I knew what happened, but it was a hazy night," Dodd/Dion said. He admits being concerned about the reaction he'll get at work, and says his mother isn't too pleased, but "if it gives people a laugh this year, then I don't care. I think we could all do with a laugh after the year we've just had." [Metro News, 1/1/2021]

Ironies

Twitter users were quick to point out the irony after a picture was posted of an unidentified man arrested in Peshawar, Pakistan, on New Year's Eve for wearing a mask during the pandemic. The man had been terrorizing people by riding through the city on his motorcycle while wearing a werewolf mask and roaring, The Independent reported. At least one commenter saw the silver lining: "People get scared of the dude and don't come out on new year during COVID times, everyone stays safe. Isn't this a good thing?" [The Independent, 1/1/2021]