Bill Dorris, a successful Nashville, Tennessee, businessman, was 84 years old when he passed away late last year, WTVF-TV reported, leaving $5 million to his beloved 8-year-old border collie, Lulu. Dorris, who was unmarried and traveled frequently, often left Lulu in the care of his friend Martha Burton, 88, who will continue to keep the dog and will be reimbursed for reasonable monthly expenses from the trust established for Lulu by the will. Burton was chill about the whole thing: "I don't really know what to think about it to tell you the truth," she said. "He just really loved that dog." [WTVF, 2/12/2021]

Annals of Education

Concordia University student Aaron Asuini wanted to ask a question in the online art history class he was taking, but when he tried to reach out to the lecturer, Francois-Marc Gagnon, he couldn't find any contact information in the school's portal. So he Googled the professor's name -- and found an obituary. The Verge reported Gagnon passed away in March 2019, and although the course syllabus listed someone else as the class's official instructor, it also noted that Gagnon would be the lecturer. A Concordia spokesperson expressed regret at the misunderstanding, but Asuini is still unsettled about it: "I don't really even want to watch the lectures anymore. ... I think it lacked tact and respect for this teacher's life." [The Verge, 2/4/2021]

Awesome!

Appalachian Bear Rescue is on the lookout for a wild mother bear to foster three newborn cubs found in the crawl space under a home in Sevier County, Tennessee, according to United Press International. Utility workers called to the home on Feb. 13 to repair a gas leak found the "ample caboose of a very large snoozing bear" when they entered the crawl space under the house, the wildlife agency said. "There was no way to safely repair the gas line while the bear was in residence," so wildlife officials tempted the bear out of her den but found three babies had been left behind. They will remain with Appalachian Bear Rescue until a foster mom is found. [UPI, 2/17/2021]

Neighborhood Watch

Homeowners in the Quail Hollow neighborhood of Charlotte, North Carolina, have been frustrated by a mail thief since late 2020, so when Lacy Hayes spotted a car lurking near his mailbox on Feb. 11 and saw the driver, who appeared to be an elderly woman, reach inside it, he took action. Hayes reached through the driver's window and removed the keys from the ignition. The woman hit him with her cellphone, so he took that too, called 911, then took a picture of the driver and the tags, The Charlotte Observer reported. The driver got away, but neighbor Nicole Kern got online and, using Hayes' photo and facial recognition software, soon found a match -- a man, wanted in Greenville, South Carolina. Neighbors rejoiced when a man with the same name was booked into the Mecklenburg County jail on Feb. 13 on a fugitive extradition warrant and a charge of resisting a law enforcement officer. Police declined to comment on whether the man is also a suspect in the mail thefts. The unnamed criminal was held on $2 million bail. [Charlotte Observer, 2/15/2021]

Desperate Times

Police in the Ukrainian village of Hrybova Rudnya determined that the unnamed man who called them Feb. 13 and confessed to seriously injuring his stepfather, made the call in order to get the road in front of his house cleared of snow. Police spokeswoman Yulia Kovtun told the BBC the man insisted that officers would need special equipment to get to him because of the snow, but when police arrived, they found no assault or murder, and the road had already been cleared by a tractor. The man was charged with filing a false report and fined. [BBC, 2/15/2021]

Least Competent Criminal

Robert Joseph Hallick of Chattanooga, Tennessee, was arrested Feb. 11 and charged with perjury, forgery and identity theft after applying for a handgun permit using former President Barack Obama's name, according to court documents. The arrest report also said his application included a letter with a United States of America seal and U.S. Department of State letterhead, along with a $50 check, WTVC-TV reported. In November, Hallick had been denied a handgun permit under his own name due to an active warrant for his arrest in Michigan. [WTVC, 2/15/2021]

Weird History

In an auction in Chesapeake City, Maryland, that closed on Feb. 8, a white wooden toilet seat pilfered from Adolf Hitler's retreat in the Bavarian Alps sold for about $18,750, The Sun reported. Ragnvald C. Borch, a U.S. soldier who spoke German and French, was one of the first to arrive at the Berghof at the end of World War II. His senior officers told him to "get what you want" from the damaged property, so Borch grabbed a toilet seat and shipped it home to New Jersey, where he displayed it in his basement. Bill Panagopulos of Alexander Auctions said, "This was as close to a 'throne' as the dictator would ever get." Borch's son put the "trophy" up for auction; the buyer was not identified. [The Sun, 2/9/2021]

Family Values

Joanna Zielinski, 62, of Naples, Florida, was arrested Feb. 11 after stabbing her sister, Laura, 64, multiple times with an EpiPen, according to authorities. Investigators said the two had spent the evening drinking and taking drugs, and Laura fell asleep on the couch. "At some point," said police, "Joanna went crazy and attacked Laura with an EpiPen," because "I'm allergic to drunks," she told officers, and she wanted to sober her sister up. The Smoking Gun reported the EpiPen was prescribed to Joanna, but Laura wasn't affected by the medicine because it wasn't actually injected. Joanna was charged with domestic battery. [The Smoking Gun, 2/12/2021]

What's Old Is New Again

The Boston Globe reported on Feb. 15 about the newest hipster craze: typewriters. Manual, heavy, clunky "typers." Tom Furrier, the owner of Cambridge Typewriter, Boston's only remaining typewriter repair shop, first noticed the upward sales trend in April 2020. "I was busy beforehand, but COVID raised my business by 40%." While typewriters can't take the place of digital communications devices, they're attractive to young people for creative endeavors that have become popular during the lockdowns: "My customers use it for journaling, poetry, creative writing," Furrier said. "It's all about writing without internet distractions, about getting into a zone." With pandemic restrictions in place, Furrier brings typewriters out onto the sidewalk for customers to inspect, then disinfects them and returns them to the window. Customers "instantly get the typewriter bug," he said. [Boston Globe, 2/15/2021]

Parking spots are hard to come by in the snowy West Ridge neighborhood of Chicago, and resident Adam Selzer has become the talk of the town for the novel method he's using to save his spot -- freezing pairs of pants and standing them up on the street like traffic cones, WBBM-TV reported. "Soak a pair, put outside. In about 20 minutes you can form them to shape, and in another 20 they're solid," Selzer posted on Twitter. Next, Selzer is planning to perfect a frozen shirt. "We'll see if this works," he said. [CBS2-TV, 2/8/2021]

New Things to Worry About

Bradford Gauthier of Worcester, Massachusetts, had a bit of trouble swallowing when he woke up on Feb. 2, but he went about his day after drinking some water. Later, "I tried to drink a glass of water again and couldn't," he said, and that's when he realized one of the AirPods he sleeps with at night was missing and "felt a distinct blockage in the center of my chest," he said. KVEO reported that it didn't take doctors in the emergency room long to discover the AirPod lodged in Gauthier's esophagus. An emergency endoscopy removed it and Gauthier went home feeling much better. [KVEO via WWLP, 2/4/2021]

Oops

-- Tessica Brown of New Orleans was out of hairspray in January as she got ready to go out, so she reached for the only spray she could find, Gorilla Glue, to shellack her hair into place. "I figured ... I could just wash it out," she told WDSU-TV, but "it didn't." Brown and her mother tried olive oil and vegetable oil, to no avail, and the local hospital could offer little help. She cut off her ponytail to reduce the weight, but the spray on her scalp continued to painfully tighten and harden. On Feb. 10, she posted on Instagram, she was scheduled to fly to Los Angeles to meet with plastic surgeon Michael Obeng to undergo a procedure that costs more than $12,000 -- for free. [WDSU-TV, 2/10/2021]

-- Neighbors in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, called police on Feb. 8 after witnessing an unidentified man apparently take a joyride on an excavator parked in the street, knocking it into power lines and making a getaway on a bicycle. WPLG-TV reported the incident resulted in every sports fan's worst nightmare: a power outage just before the big game. "About 30 to 40 minutes before the Super Bowl started, (the power) just went all the way out," said Bubba James. Crews from Florida Power & Light attended to the problem, and the power was back on by halftime. [WPLG Local10 News, 2/8/2021]

Wait, What?

Jane Louise Kellahan, 49, of Wanaka, New Zealand, appeared before Judge Russell Walker in Queenstown District Court on Feb. 2, her second appearance on a charge of assault and the second time she refused to answer when called upon. "That sounds like my name, Your Honor, but I want to see it in writing," she said. The Otago Daily News reported Kellahan, a local artist, denies being a person, saying, "I'm a living being on the land." The judge told her, "You are a living being, which means you are a person" and entered a plea of not guilty on her behalf. Her trial is set for April 28. [Otago Daily News, 2/4/2021]

Keystone Car Chase

In the wee hours of Jan. 26, police in Bellevue, Washington, spotted a car running a red light, so they ran the tag and discovered the car was reported stolen. The driver failed to yield when officers attempted a traffic stop, KOMO-TV reported, but a mechanical problem prevented the vehicle from exceeding 25 mph. The driver also observed all traffic laws as the pursuit continued for about a mile and a half until the vehicle burst into flames and became fully engulfed. The suspect male driver fled into a nearby nature park and escaped; a female passenger was detained by police and taken into custody. [KOMO-TV, 2/2/2021]

Weird Antiquities

Bidding is underway in Boston-based RR Auction's special Presidents Day online sale of presidential artifacts, which includes locks of George and Martha Washington's hair, John F. Kennedy's Harvard cardigan sweater and the pen Warren G. Harding used to officially end U.S. involvement in World War I, reported The Associated Press. The auction, which continues through Feb. 18, features around 300 items from "America's esteemed commanders-in-chief," said company spokesperson Mike Graff. Last year, the company sold a lock of Abraham Lincoln's hair wrapped in a bloodstained telegram about his 1865 assassination for $81,000. [Associated Press, 2/9/2021]

State of the Union

Instagramer Matt Shirley of Los Angeles conducted an informal survey among his more than 300,000 followers, asking them which state they hate most, the Asbury Park Press reported Jan. 21, and from the 2,500 responses, he determined that, among the expected regional rivalries, New Jersey hates every other state and Florida hates ... Florida. The Sunshine State was the only one to choose itself as most-hated, with four-fifths of respondents agreeing. "I live in Florida, have my whole life, and would not hesitate to unironically put that as my answer," one survey participant wrote. [Asbury Park Press, 1/21/2021]

The Aristocrats

Rapper Lil Uzi Vert, whose real name is Symere Woods, revealed on Instagram in early February that he has had a $24 million 10-carat pink diamond implanted in his forehead, reported Rolling Stone. According to Simon Babaev, spokesman for the New York-based jeweler Eliantte & Co. that implanted the stone, Uzi fell in love with the marquise-shaped diamond when he saw it in 2017 and has been making payments on it as he determined what he wanted to do with it. "We didn't think he was serious about it," said Babaev, but as it became clear that he was, "we engineered a specific mounting that clips and locks in place. There's a whole mechanism involved." [Rolling Stone, 2/8/2021]

Cliche Come to Life

A U.S. Coast Guard crew on routine patrol Feb. 8 in the Bahamas spotted three people who had reportedly been stranded on uninhabited Anguilla Cay for 33 days. ABC News reported the two men and a woman, all Cuban nationals, survived by eating rats, coconuts and conch shells, and suffered from dehydration because of the lack of freshwater on the island. A Coast Guard helicopter hoisted them off the island and delivered them to the Lower Keys Medical Center in Key West, Florida, where helicopter commander Mike Allert said they were in generally good condition. It was unclear how they ended up on the island. [ABC News, 2/9/2021]

Awesome!

Andrea Belcher of Surrey, England, was looking for a way to have a little fun during COVID-19 lockdowns in April of last year and hit upon the idea of dressing up in a ball gown to take out the trash. Since then, Sky News reported, she has dressed up each week as a famous personality or fictional character, including so far Darth Vader, Marge Simpson and Wilma Flintstone, even recruiting the family dog to play Toto to her Dorothy. "Everything is a bit miserable at the moment," Belcher said. "So it's nice to have a little bit of silliness, a little bit of craziness, and to make people smile." [Sky News, 2/7/2021]

The Staten Island Zoo is weathering a storm of controversy over the prediction made by its resident groundhog, Staten Island Chuck, on Feb. 2 -- an annual event at the zoo. Chuck popped up on a Facebook "livestream" at the designated hour, on the designated day, but something seemed ... off. After hours of accumulating snow in the New York area, the New York Post reported, Chuck was seen to emerge into bright sunlight with no snow on the ground, his handlers wearing sweatshirts. "So there ya have it, folks, we're gonna have an early spring," announced zoo executive director Ken Mitchell. Viewers weren't fooled, one commenting, "Welppp this isn't live." Previous Groundhog Day celebrations at the zoo have also raised a ruckus. In 2014, a stand-in groundhog named Charlotte died after being dropped by Mayor Bill de Blasio, and in 2009 Chuck bit Mayor Mike Bloomberg's finger. [New York Post, 2/2/2021]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Edner Flores, 34, entered a PNC Bank branch in Chicago's Humboldt Park neighborhood on Jan. 27 and allegedly tried to rob it by handing a teller a note stating that he wanted $10,000, with "no die (sic) packs," and that he was armed, according to a federal criminal complaint. The teller activated a silent alarm and the man to fill out a blue withdrawal slip, which he did, then asked for his ATM card. The helpful Flores instead produced a temporary Illinois state ID card, authorities said. WMAQ-TV reported police arrived while Flores was still at the window, arrested him and found a knife in his jacket, according to a police report. [NBC Chicago, 1/28/2021]

-- Women changing in the locker room at Onelife Fitness in Stafford, Virginia, were unhurt on Jan. 30 when Brian Anthony Joe, 41, fell through the ceiling, according to the Stafford County Sheriff's Office, landing on one of them. Joe, who fell about 10 feet, the sheriff said, was also uninjured, and the New York Post reported the women held him there in the locker room until authorities arrived to arrest him on charges of burglary, vandalism and peeping. [NY Post, 1/31/2021]

Bright Idea

Drag queen Spar-Kelly and her neighbors in St. Johns, Florida, are tired of parents parking along their street during school pickup to avoid the traffic at the nearby Creekside High School. So she dressed in her finest and for three days held up a simple sign that read, "THIS IS NOT STUDENT PICK-UP, HONEY." "If what it takes is just me standing here and telling people to move along, I'll be a diva and I'll tell someone to move right along," she told WJXT-TV. On Jan. 27, her efforts paid off: A St. Johns County Sheriff's deputy showed up to patrol the street, and plans are being made to install new "no parking" signs. [WJXT, 1/28/2021]

Mountain > Molehill

Roger Broadstone, 67, was at home in Twining, Michigan, when state police officers arrived on Jan. 20 to investigate allegations of $1,500 worth of merchandise purchased with a stolen credit card, but he refused to let them in without a search warrant, WJRT-TV reported. When the troopers returned with the warrant, they found the illegally purchased items inside the house, but they also found that Broadstone had barricaded himself inside and allegedly set a booby trap and other items designed to harm the officers. Broadstone was charged with two counts related to the credit card transaction, and 16 counts related to the confrontation with authorities, including five counts of attempted murder and four counts of resisting police. He was being held on a $1.125 million bond. [WJRT, 2/2/2021]

Weird Science

Researchers have solved the mystery of how bare-nosed wombats, native to southeastern Australia, produce poop in cubes, reports the International Business Times. Wildlife ecologist Scott Carver of the University of Tasmania is lead author on a study, published Jan. 28 in the journal Soft Matter, that details the particular inner workings of the wombat's digestive tract that produce the square-shaped dung. "This ability ... is unique in the animal kingdom," Carver said. "Our research found that ... you really can fit a square peg through a round hole." [International Business Times, 1/29/2021]

Oh, That Old Thing?

Italian police arrested an unnamed 36-year-old in Naples on Jan. 16 on suspicion of receiving stolen goods and found a 500-year-old copy of Leonardo da Vinci's "Salvatore Mundi," a painting they returned to the museum it belonged to, surprising museum officials, who had no idea it had been missing. The painting is part of the Doma Museum collection at the San Domenico Maggiore church in Naples, where the room it had hung in "has not been open for three months," Naples prosecutor Giovanni Melillo told The Guardian. The copy was made by Giacomo Alibrandi in the early 1500s; da Vinci's original painting sold in 2017 for a record-breaking $450 million at auction and hasn't been seen in public since. [The Guardian, 1/19/2021]

Misinformed

Authorities in Essex County, England, received a tip on Jan. 16 and arrived at the Freemasons' Saxon Hall expecting to put an end to the illegal "rave" reported to be happening there, but instead of loud music and wild teenagers, officers found old people lining up to get their COVID-19 vaccines, Echo News reported. "Grumpy old men and grumpy old women were in abundance," confirmed Dennis Baum, chairman of the hall, with "wheelchairs, Zimmer frames and walking sticks." Baum said things got testy when the vaccine was late arriving: "It was absolute chaos ... The car park became chock a block with 80-year-old-plus drivers." Police remained to offer their assistance with the traffic. [Echo News, 1/19/2021]

Government in Action

Watertown, Massachusetts, recently installed new parking meters with updated technology to make payment easier, but the city is instead fielding complaints from residents who say the meters are too tall to use. "I'm 5'7," and I have to do a little tiptoe reach," Marianne Iagco told WBZ-TV, which reported Feb. 2 that the meters measure about 5 feet, 6 inches high. Assistant Town Manager Steve Magoon said public works employees will be lowering the meters to 48 inches in the weeks to come. "It's actually sort of refreshing to have a problem of slightly shorter stature than unemployment, COVID-19, no food and no money," commented optimistic resident Ken Pershing. [WBZ, 2/2/2021]

Lost and Found

Retired Navy meteorologist Paul Grisham, 91, of San Carlos, California, was reunited on Jan. 30 with the leather wallet he lost 53 years ago when his 13-month tour in Antactica ended and he returned home without it. The wallet had been found behind a locker during renovations at McMurdo Station and made its way back to him through the weeks-long efforts of a group of amateur detectives working to track him down. "I was just blown away," Grisham told The San Diego Union-Tribune. The billfold still contained Grisham's Navy ID, driver's license and an assortment of other items, including a recipe for homemade Kahlua, money order receipts from his poker winnings and a set of instructions on what to do in case of an attack. It did not contain any money because there had been nothing to buy at the station. [San Diego Union Tribune, 2/4/2021]