The 2024 Iditarod race in Alaska got off to a messy start, Sporting News reported on March 7. On the first day, musher Jesse Holmes went mano-a-mano with a moose that became aggressive toward his dogs on the trail. Holmes punched the moose in the nose and went on his way. Soon after, Dallas Seavey and his dogs came upon a moose -- it's not clear whether it was the same one -- that was "threatening and belligerent." When the moose got entangled with his dogs, Seavey dispensed with the heroics and shot it. As per the Iditarod's rules, Seavey then stopped for about 10 minutes to field-dress the moose, but he was later assessed a two-hour penalty at the next checkpoint because "the animal was not sufficiently gutted by the musher." A third musher, Wally Robinson, ran across the moose carcass in the dark, on a trail curving through woods. Race Marshal Warren Palfrey confirmed that "we are making sure that every attempt is made to utilize and salvage the moose meat." So there's that. [Sporting News, 3/7/2024]

Clothing Optional

Looking for something light and airy to do at the end of April? Set your GPS for Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and the Crafton Ingram Lanes, where Balls Out Bowling will return on April 28, according to WTRF-TV. The Pittsburgh Area Naturalists are hosting the event, which requires nudity (except women are allowed to wear bottoms). Participants must be 18 or older, and sexual activity is not permitted; harassment will result in being ejected from the bowling alley. And leave your cellphone at home; no photos or videos allowed. You won't have anywhere to carry it anyway! [WTRF, 3/4/2024]

The Passing Parade

As the last remaining Hooters restaurant in West Virginia prepared for demolition, residents of Kanawha City gathered on Feb. 23 for a candlelight vigil, WCHS-TV reported. The event, which started as a joke, got international attention, and hundreds of people showed up. "It's a lot of memories going down with that building," said Noah Collins of Rand, West Virginia. Tearful former Hooters employees reunited for one last time. "I started out coming in to get a job and it became so much more because I met so many lifelong friends and my co-workers," said Danielle Hughart. "This building right here was a legitimate iconic figure to the Kanawha Valley," declared co-organizer Leo Browning. The corporate office sent a box of calendars to distribute to those who attended the vigil. [WCHS, 2/24/2024]

Smooth Reaction

Dr. Krisztina Ilko, 33, a junior research fellow and director of studies at the University of Cambridge Queens' College in England, lives in a medieval tower, the Independent reported. But on Feb. 29, Ilko became trapped in her bathroom for seven hours after the wooden door locked behind her and wouldn't budge. She couldn't signal or yell for help because the tower walls are thick, and there are no windows in the bathroom. However, she kept her cool and McGyvered the door open using an eyeliner (to push down the door's latch) and a cotton swab (to pull the locking mechanism away from the door frame). "When ... the door opened, it was exhilarating because I didn't think it would work," Ilko said. Since the incident, she's had the lock removed. [Independent, 3/4/2024]

Police Report

-- In Kennesaw, Georgia, police responded to the Heritage Park Town Homes on Feb. 21 after a Toyota Corolla "rammed through the pool fence ... and (she's) in the middle of the pool," said the 911 caller. Fox5-TV reported that the driver suffered some sort of medical emergency and was unconscious when officers arrived; they were able to break a car window and get her out of the car. She was taken to a hospital and was expected to make a full recovery, according to Cobb County Police. The pool cover was so strong that the car didn't sink; a tow truck removed it from the cover later in the day. [Fox5, 3/4/2024]

-- The Putnam County (Florida) Sheriff's Office was flooded with calls on March 2 after two low-flying F-15 jets from the Florida Air National Guard caused sonic booms, News4Jax-TV reported. "It destroyed my friggin' house!" one caller exclaimed, while others thought a bomb had dropped. "I have major damage, they flew right over my house. The lights were blown off the walls, there's glass everywhere," said another. The National Guard issued a statement saying they were aware of damage sustained by the sonic booms and had established a contact number for residents who had damage claims. [News4Jax, 3/6/2024]

Delusions of Grandeur

For Connor James Litka, 21, of Bloomington, Indiana, it was "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Litka arrived at a Porsche dealership in Louisville, Kentucky, on Feb. 21 and tried to buy a car with a fake $78 million check, WAVE-TV reported. When he was rebuffed, he searched around the back entrance to the showroom, looking for car keys. Salespeople summoned police, who charged him with criminal trespass and disorderly conduct. Turns out Litka tried the same stunt the day before at a Land Rover dealership, where he presented a $12 million check. [WAVE, 2/22/2024]

Oopsy

Anne Hughes, 71, was standing outside the Best One shop in Tonteg, Wales, where she works, when the electric security shutters started raising, catching her coat and leaving her dangling upside down 7 feet in the air. The incident from March 4 was caught on CCTV, Sky News reported; she hung in the air until a shopkeeper helped free her as the shutter was lowered. "I'm learning to live with the fame," Hughes said. "I'll never hear the end of it." She was uninjured in the mishap. [Sky News, 3/5/2024]

Cheeky

Rawiya Al-Qasimi, a female reporter, was covering an event in Riyadh on March 4 when a Saudi Arabian robot called Android Muhammad unexpectedly slapped her posterior during a live shot, the Daily Star reported. Al-Qasimi pushed the robot's hand away and rebuked him. Before the untoward touching, Android Muhammad introduced himself, saying, "I was manufactured and developed here in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia as a national project to demonstrate our achievements in the field of artificial intelligence." Ironically, had he been a real man, he might have faced jail time for his inappropriate behavior. [Daily Star, 3/7/2024]

Maybe She's Onto Something

Spanish artist Alicia Framis, now based in Amsterdam, has created the perfect husband: a hologram that she designed and named AILex Sibouwlingen, whom she modeled on past paramours, according to EuroNews. Framis plans to marry him this summer at a museum in Rotterdam, the Netherlands. On her Instagram page, Framis shares photos and videos of herself and AILex sharing meals and other elements of daily life. "Love and sex with robots and holograms are an inevitable reality," Framis said. "They are great companions and capable of expressing empathy." [EuroNews, 3/1/2024]

Truth Is Stranger Than Netflix

Loreen Bea Feralo, 55, and Karen Casbohm, 63, were charged with theft and gross abuse of a corpse after allegedly carrying out a "Weekend at Bernie's" stunt in Ashtabula, Ohio, The Smoking Gun reported. On March 4, police said, Feralo and Casbohm -- who were not related to Douglas Layman, 80, but lived in his home -- loaded his corpse into the front seat of a car "in such a manner that he would be visible to bank staff" and drove through his bank, where they used his card to withdraw $900. The bank had allowed the women to withdraw from his account before, as long as he was with him. Having secured the funds, the women then dropped Layman's body at the Ashtabula County Medical Center emergency room "without providing any information about the man or themselves," police said. They were able to identify the women and question them. The women, both of whom have significant priors, said Layman died at home. [The Smoking Gun, 3/7/2024]

At an event billed as "Willy's Chocolate Experience" on Feb. 24 in Glasgow, Scotland, children and parents were so underwhelmed that police were called, The New York Times reported. The event, which promised Willy Wonka-themed chocolate fountains, performances by Oompa Loompas and "optical marvels," turned out to offer just a few jelly beans and a nearly empty warehouse. Stuart Sinclair, who paid about $44 per ticket to bring his kids to the show, said it amounted to "maybe 20 chairs, a couple of tables and a half-inflated bouncy castle." Jenny Fogarty, who was hired to play an Oompa Loompa, said she was given a 15-page script the night before and that "the wigs were very cheap." The organizer canceled the event on Saturday afternoon; it was unclear who had called police. The event organizer, House of Illuminati, said ticket purchases would be refunded. [New York Times, 2/27/2024]

Bright Ideas

-- On Feb. 19, neighbors in an apartment building in Wejherowo, Poland, became alarmed as a 19-year-old man tried to lead a full-grown horse up the stairs to his third-floor home, Radio Gdansk reported. Police were called to the building and determined that the mare, worth about $3,800, had been stolen. She was returned to the owner, and the horse thief was charged with theft; he faces five years in prison. [Radio Gdansk, 2/21/2024]

-- Details have recently emerged about an incident in Willow Springs, Missouri, in November, the Springfield News-Leader reported. The Howell County Sheriff's Office had investigated after a man in his 60s, who was a paraplegic, lost his feet while brush-hogging. "It was a poorly executed plan," said Lt. Torey Thompson. He said it was clear almost immediately that the accident had been staged: The cuts were very clean, the feet were nowhere to be found, and tourniquets had been applied to both legs. Allegedly, the victim had help from a man from Florida, who cut off the feet with a hatchet to help him commit insurance fraud. However, since the unnamed man never filed the claim and he was so severely injured, the sheriff's office declined to charge him. And the missing feet? "A couple of days later, we got a call that a relative found them in a bucket obscured by tires, so we went and got them," Thompson said. Mystery solved. [Springfield News-Leader, 2/15/2024]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

-- On Feb. 13, as a Delta flight soared from Amsterdam to Detroit, maggots began falling from an overhead compartment onto passengers below, The Guardian reported. Philip Schotte, who was on the flight, said attendants traced the source to a bag stowed above and found a rotten fish wrapped in newspaper. They removed the offending item, and the pilot announced that the plane would be returning to Amsterdam. Apologizing, Delta said the passengers were placed on another flight and the plane was removed from service for cleaning. Passengers were also given 8,000 air miles, hotel room compensation and a $30 meal ticket. But who's hungry? [Guardian, 2/15/2024]

-- Sri Lankan Airlines was forced to ground one of its Airbus A330 planes for three days after a rat was spotted on the aircraft, United Press International reported on Feb. 27. The rodent was seen during a flight from Lahore, Pakistan, to Colombo, Sri Lanka. Workers sprayed the plane with poison, and technicians checked wiring for damage done by chewing. [UPI, 2/27/2024]

Saw That Coming

You might have missed the first-ever Florida Man Games in St. Augustine on Feb. 24, but it's never too early to plan for next year. United Press International reported that hundreds of people paid $55 each for a ticket to watch Floridians compete in a mullet contest and a "Florida sumo" event where competitors tried to spill each other's beers. Other events included a pork butt eating contest, a race that simulated stealing a bike, and an "evading arrest obstacle course." One winning team walked away with the $5,000 prize. "We understand that Florida is weird," said Pete Melfi, organizer of the event. "We embrace it." [United Press International, 2/26/2024]

Try the Decaf

Brandie Gotch, 30, of Peoria, Arizona, told police that her children were being bullied by other kids, and she had reported it to the school and law enforcement, but nothing happened. So on Feb. 27, she took matters into her own hands, CBS5-TV reported. With her four children in her Silverado, Gotch drove to a local park, where she allegedly approached a group of kids and started yelling at them. Police said Gotch grabbed a 14-year-old boy by the hair and yanked his head back and forth as she yelled at him, then grabbed a stick from her truck and chased him, yelling, "I am going to kill you and run you over!" She then jumped back into her truck and drove it toward the group of kids, running over a girl's ankle in the process, although she told police she didn't think she hit the girl. "I hope I didn’t," she said. Her own children told police they were bouncing all over the truck during her jaunt through the park. Gotch was charged with six counts of endangerment, four counts of aggravated assault, two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and one count of attempted first-degree murder. [CBS5, 2/29/2024]

News You Can Use

Legend says that if the seven ravens who protect the Tower of London (six, plus one spare, as decreed by King Charles II) ever leave the landmark, the tower will crumble and the Kingdom of England will fall. So it's no surprise that the tower has a ravenmaster, and 56-year-old Michael "Barney" Chandler has just been installed in the job, the Associated Press reported. Chandler is a former Royal Marine who said, "We don't know if (the prophecy is) true or not, because we've never let the number drop below six -- and it's not going to happen while I'm here." As the sixth holder of the post, Chandler will be in charge of four other Beefeaters who look after the ravens. "You never know what they're going to do," he said. "They're all totally different, personality-wise." His favorite is Poppy, who hops up to him to accept a treat of a dead mouse now and again. Spoiler alert: The birds' feathers are trimmed so they can't fly away. [AP, 3/1/2024]

Leap Day Fun

-- In Rye, New Hampshire, Lillian Edin celebrated her 25th birthday -- although she is 100 years old. "I feel 25, until I start trying to walk," Edin said, according to WMUR-TV. "I can't believe I've lived this age. I really can't." She was feted with lunch and cupcakes. [WMUR, 2/29/2024]

-- A brother and sister who were both born on Leap Day four years apart are getting to celebrate the unusual birthday for the first time. Omri Demchak, 8, and his sister, Scout, 4, celebrated with more than 50 people at the coffee shop their parents own in Brooklyn, New York. Most years, the family celebrate Omri's birthday on Feb. 28 and Scout's on March 1. Mom Lindsay Demchak said neither of the leap kids was due on the special day. "It was truly serendipitous," she told the New York Post. [NY Post, 2/29/2024]

-- Issue 12 of France's La Bougie du Sapeur (The Sapper's Candle) has hit the newsstands, the BBC reported -- which is kind of a big deal because it is printed only on Feb. 29, every four years. The first edition was in 1980. Editor Jean d'Indy said the 20-page tabloid is "put out by a few pals. We meet in a bar and toss around ideas over drinks. We have a lot of fun, and if the reader does, too, that's the icing on the cake." It has a print run of 200,000, costs about 5 euros, and is not available online. [BBC, 2/28/2024]

And you thought your glovebox full of unpaid parking tickets was impressive. Police detectives and patrol officers arrested Ahyoka Keith, aka Carol Ann Sumner, on Feb. 16, two weeks after she was charged with an astonishing 322 felonies and 327 misdemeanors by the Spring Township police department in Bellefonte, Pennsylvania. Keith is an over-the-road trucker, and her 649 warrants were related to the theft of thousands of dollars from a relative. [WPMI NBC15, 2/20/2024]

Not Getting It

A 42-year-old resident of Ajax, Ontario, was arrested and charged with impaired driving on Feb. 20 at the Durham Regional police station, where he had driven to complain ... about his arrest for public intoxication from earlier that morning. The man asked to speak with a supervisor when he arrived at the station, but officers noticed he seemed to be intoxicated, and, after confirming he had driven himself, issued a breathalyzer test, which the man failed. His license was suspended and his vehicle was impounded. [DurhamRegion.com, 2/20/24]

Need for Speed

The Hockenheimring racetrack in Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany, was the setting for a Guinness World Record-setting run recently. The speed reached -- 92.24 mph -- might not sound so impressive, but Fulda University engineering student Marcel Paul attained that velocity in a toy car. Paul spent 10 months modifying the miniature Porsche with the goal of beating the 88 mph made famous by the time-traveling DeLorean DMC-12 in the "Back to the Future" movies, and in the process created the world's fasted ride-on toy car. Said one user in the comments on Paul's Instagram video of the milestone event: "Hell no that looks dangerous." [Yahoo News, 2/20/2024]

Bleepin' Birds

Eight potty-mouthed parrots are set to rejoin the rest of their flock at the Lincolnshire Wildlife Park in Boston, United Kingdom, after zoo officials decided that recent efforts to help the dirty birds clean up their act in isolation had shown promise. Steve Nichols, who serves as chief executive of the park, still isn't sure what will happen when the birds are reunited with their more well-behaved peers. "We could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands," Nichols said. "Only time will tell." For now, the park does not plan to take down its signs warning visitors of the potential for foul language. [BBC, 2/21/2024]

Very Senior Year

It's never too late to graduate, and Fred Allen Smalls of Georgetown, South Carolina, is proof. Smalls took the stage at Georgetown High School on Feb. 4, the day before his 106th birthday, to receive an honorary diploma at a ceremony that came to fruition largely due to the efforts of his granddaughter. Smalls completed eighth grade in the 1930s and moved to Washington, D.C., where he worked as a janitor and held several other jobs before beginning a career with the District of Columbia, eventually retiring during the John F. Kennedy administration. WPDE ABC 15 reported that the diploma was "something he's wished for most of his life." And the diploma wasn't the first time Smalls made recent news: In 2023, ABC News recognized him as the oldest Philadelphia Eagles fan. ABC 15 [ABC15, 2/20/2024]

Sticky Situation

A coyote that found itself in an ironic predicament in mid-January has the Humane Animal Welfare Society (HAWS) and the Wildlife in Need Center (WINC) of Waukesha County, Wisconsin, to thank for its rescue -- maybe with a little help from above? WDJT in Milwaukee reported that the coyote had gotten its head stuck inside a hollow statue of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals, while chasing a rabbit. The coyote was spotted dragging the statue and working to free itself, but by the next day, the animal was exhausted and still trapped. HAWS located the coyote and transported it to WINC, where it was freed, treated for minor injuries and given the nickname "Frannie." [WDJT CBS 58, 2/12/2024]

Long-Term Lending

More and more libraries across the country have converted to fine-free lending, and that's a very good thing for one patron of the Licking County Library in Ohio. WPDE ABC 15 in Columbus reported that an Instagram post shared by the library included video of a poetry book that recently had been returned -- about 93 years late. The patron had found the "Heart Throbs" poetry collection at a relative's house and discovered the due date card inside the front cover, last stamped "Nov 9 '31." WPDE estimated the total fine would have been approximately $5,770. [AP, 2/13/2024]

Cemetery Shortcut

In the immortal words of Shaggy, "It wasn't me." The Lavonia (Georgia) Police Department wants residents to know that a chaotic scene in a local graveyard Feb. 20 had nothing to do with them. "In case you saw or heard the law enforcement commotion," reads a post on the department's Facebook page, "well, it wasn't us." The commotion in question? Deputies from the Oconee County Sheriff's Office in neighboring South Carolina had chased a reckless driver across state lines and into the Lavonia City Burgess Cemetery, reports FOX 5 Atlanta. The driver -- who was apparently "late for an appointment" -- damaged several graves before attempting to flee on foot. Unsuccessfully. [Fox 5, 2/20/2024]

Thong and Pony Show

Australian equestrian Shane Rose, a three-time Olympic medalist, decided to push the sartorial envelope on Feb. 11, competing in a skimpy mankini -- the kind popularized by the 2006 movie "Borat." In fairness, the annual Wallaby Hill Extravaganza in New South Wales is a costumed competition, where equestrians put horses through their paces in all kinds of wacky get-ups. Some even go through multiple costume changes, which was the case with Rose. As the Wallaby Hill Equestrian Centre put it on Facebook, Rose "truly showed us 'all he's got' as he wore less and less with each horse he entered the arena with." But someone complained about the mankini, USA Today reported, leading governing body Equestrian Australia to bar Rose from competing while it investigated. (Even rowdy Aussies must follow codes of conduct, after all.) For a few days, Rose's 2024 Paris Olympics plans hung in the balance, but he was soon cleared of any wrongdoing. Let's hope he changes clothes before heaving a big sigh of relief. [USA Today, 2/19/2024]

Animal Antics

-- Caterina Sevares of Florida had a late-night craving for tacos on Feb. 13, so she did what many of us have probably done: She placed a DoorDash order and hopped in the shower while waiting for her food to be delivered. But when she opened the door to retrieve the Talkin' Tacos delivery, Fox 35 reported that she was met by three masked bandits -- a trio of racoons who got to her meal first, eating everything but the tortillas. Sevares began to film the carnage but retreated once the racoons started engaging -- one stood up on its hind legs while the other two stared her down. "Once they started hissing, I shut the door so fast. I was like, 'They can have the carne asada, it's fine,'" Sevares said. Talkin' Tacos caught wind of the bandits' antics after Sevares' story went viral on TikTok, and sent her a gift card for her troubles. [FOX 35, 2/14/2024]

-- Elsewhere in Florida, bears ransacked a woman's car -- on Valentine's Day, no less. Cassidy Simoes' boyfriend left chocolates in the front seat of her car the night before, intending to give them to her the next day. But NBC2 reported that at about 3:30 on Valentine's morning, the couple woke to find the car in bad shape: "Basically, the whole door panel, I can't even open the door at all or roll the windows down, nothing," Simoes said. No word on if the chocolates were replaced. [NBC2, 2/14/24]