Literally. Sean Edward Uribe, 35, was arrested on Sept. 12 in the wake of two incidents over the summer at Miami clothing stores, The Smoking Gun reported. During the first encounter, at a Ross Dress for Less in June, Uribe allegedly used a medical syringe to squirt a substance on the back of the shorts of a juvenile as he recorded with his phone, police said. Witnesses alerted store employees and the victim as Uribe fled the scene. In late August at a Marshalls store, Uribe allegedly struck again, this time targeting an adult woman to "spray an unknown substance on the victim's left buttocks area," police said. When Uribe was taken into custody, he confessed and said the liquid in the syringes was moisturizing lotion. Then he called his father, as police listened, and instructed him to go to his house and remove hard drives. "Put them under lock and key," he said. Officers got there first and seized the drives, along with loaded syringes. So far, he's been charged with battery on a child, two misdemeanor battery counts and tampering with evidence. [The Smoking Gun, 9/19/2024]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

A Scandinavian Airlines flight from Oslo, Norway, to Malaga, Spain, was diverted to Copenhagen, Denmark, on Sept. 18 after a mouse crawled out of a passenger's in-flight meal, the BBC reported. Jarle Borrestad, who was sitting next to the passenger whose meal harbored the rodent, told the BBC that people on board remained calm, but he put his socks over his pant legs so the mouse couldn't crawl up his leg. Oystein Schmidt, SAS spokesperson, said such events happen "extremely rarely"; passengers were transferred to another plane and went on their way. [BBC, 9/20/2024]

Oops

On Sept. 24, as the Kamloops, British Columbia, city council met in the council chambers, someone zooming in online queued up a pornographic video clip while sharing their screen, the CBC reported. The council's public participation segment of the meeting allows people to ask questions or comment on agenda items, but councilman Bill Sarai said Tuesday's incident was the final straw for him. "It's really swayed far, far away from what it's meant to be," Sarai said. He wants to eliminate the public portion of the meeting and ask the public to interact through email or in-person meetings. [CBC, 9/25/2024]

Awesome!

-- In November, Stack's Bowers Galleries in Boston will offer an extremely rare three-pence coin from 1652 for auction, CBS News reported. The coin, which was minted in Boston at the Hull Mint, was purchased from a shop in the Netherlands. It is one of only three known coins like it, one of which was stolen and hasn't been seen since. Store manager Stanley Chu expects it to fetch well over $1 million. [CBS News, 9/20/2024]

-- Student volunteers were helping out with an archaeological dig in Eu, France, when one of them found a small glass bottle inside an earthenware pot, United Press International reported. Inside the bottle was a message, written in January 1825, from one "P.J. Feret, a native of Dieppe, member of various intellectual societies." Feret was carrying out excavations at the same site and left the message for future explorers. "It was an absolutely magic moment," said Guillaume Blondel, head of the town's Regional Archaeology Service. Local records revealed that Feret was a well-known archaeologist of his time. Blondel said such finds are rare: "Most archaeologists prefer to think that there won't be anyone coming after them because they've done all the work." [UPI, 9/24/2024]

It's Good To Have a Hobby

Joshua Kiser of Breinigsville, Pennsylvania, was looking for something to amuse himself during the COVID shutdown in 2020 when he came across an idea: "I stumbled upon a picture of the eccentric man posing with a gigantic top hat on his head," Kiser said, referring to Odilon Ozare, who set the record for World's Tallest Hat in 2018. Kiser thought it would be easy to surpass Ozare's 15-foot, 9-inch hat, but it wasn't until this year that he managed to engineer one, at 17 feet, 9.5 inches, that could withstand a walk of the required 32.8 feet while wearing it. United Press International reported that his final, winning design incorporated lightweight guttering and a Philadelphia Eagles trash can that "looked about the circumference of my noggin." [UPI, 9/26/2024]

Freaky

A 27-foot-tall puppet in the shape of a seated baby has been installed in the center of the town of Rochdale, England, the BBC reported on Sept. 25. The baby, named Lilly, with a mouth and eyes that open and shut, is part of a council project to encourage schoolchildren to talk about the importance of the environment. Ostensibly, the kids will speak to Lilly; their conversations will be recorded and broadcast from the baby at an event on Oct. 24 at Hollingworth Lake Nature Park. But townsfolk aren't warming up to Lilly, calling it "the ugliest baby I've ever seen." One said, "It's creepy with its eyes shut, never mind open." No telling how school-aged kids will react to it. [BBC, 9/25/2024]

Overreaction

-- A 58-year-old Simcoe, Ontario, Canada, woman, Wendy Washik, was taken into custody on Sept. 1 and charged with assault with a weapon, the CBC reported. The charges stemmed from an incident at a backyard party when Washik, who was playing with a child, accidentally shot a neighbor with a water gun while he mowed his lawn. Washik said she apologized repeatedly, but the "victim" "wouldn't listen to me and ... was screaming at me." She said police "didn't ask me a single question. They didn't ask to see the water gun." Washik was due in court on Sept. 24. [CBC, 9/13/2024]

-- Socorro Camacho, 54, died in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on Sept. 23 after getting into a dispute with another man over a song played on a jukebox, WSVN-TV reported. The argument started in the wee hours at Antojitos Mexicanos restaurant when Camacho insulted the other man over his song choice, witnesses said. The insulted man "pulled his weapon and started shooting," Mauro Bonilla said. Fort Lauderdale police are investigating and trying to identify the gunman. [WSVN, 9/23/2024]

Bright Idea

A Florida man (of course) was rescued late on Sept. 23 after he apparently attempted to swim across the Detroit River from Windsor, Canada, to Detroit, CBS News reported. The U.S. Mail Boat J.W. Westcott II was launched after hearing of the swimmer, who was using a life ring to help support himself. "There's a very strong current, and the water temperature is about 73 degrees right now," said Capt. Neil Schultheiss. "Even with the life ring, he was struggling." The boat picked up the swimmer after about 10 minutes of searching. Crewmembers said he seemed disoriented and under the influence. "He just kind of kept pacing around the front deck, saying, 'Is this boat U.S.? Are we going back to the U.S.?'" Schultheiss said. He was transferred to an EMS unit. [CBS News, 9/24/2024]

Great Art

Residents of Everett, Washington, must be feeling so much better about themselves following the installation of the Affirmation Station, My Everett News reported on Sept. 25. Artist Timothy C. Flood of Colorado installed the sculpture, which looks like a pedestrian crossing sign, but instead delivers audio and text with messages like "Hey, you're doing a great job" and "You are strong." On the post is a sign inviting the viewers to press a button, which activates the sign. [My Everett News, 9/25/2024]

Poor Crumbs. The now-famous corpulent cat, named for his ability to eat, was found in early September in the basement of a hospital in Perm, Russia, the New York Post reported, where the staff had given him a steady diet of cookies and soup. When he was discovered, he weighed more than 37 pounds -- about three times the average size for a cat -- and was unable to support his weight to walk. Crumbs (or Kroshik, in Russian) was moved to the Matroskin Shelter, where workers put him on a strict diet and exercise regimen -- apparently not his cup of tea, as he tried to escape on Sept. 11. Rehab expert Ekaterina Bedakova said Crumbs was "extremely displeased" when, during his escape attempt, he got himself stuck in a shoe rack and couldn't get out. But she was enthused about his effort because it demonstrated that he's a "very active guy." [NY Post, 9/13/2024]

Precocious

A family in Bedford, Ohio, reported their Nissan Rogue and their 8-year-old daughter missing around 9 a.m. on Sept. 15, the Associated Press reported. Police learned that witnesses had seen a small child driving nearby, but it wasn't until they checked the parking lot at Target, about 13 miles away, that they discovered the car. The girl was inside the store; she told officers that she had hit a mailbox during her journey, but otherwise it went fine. Authorities were weighing whether any charges would be filed. [AP, 9/16/2024]

News You Can Use

-- In Japan, the number of people aged 100 or older has hit a new record -- 95,119, AFP reported on Sept. 17. Most of the centenarians are women, the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications noted. The world's oldest person, Tomiko Itooka of western Japan, is 116. Japan's oldest man, Kiyotaka Mizuno, 110, told local media that he has "no idea at all about what's the secret to my long life." [AFP, 9/17/2024]

-- About 40 feet off the coast of Miami Beach, the world's first underwater cemetery is already home to about 1,500 "placements," ClickOrlando reported on Sept. 17. The Neptune Memorial Reef's community resource director, Michael Tabers, said the area had already been designated for an artificial reef when "a group of businessmen in the area ... had the idea." The reef was built "from an artist conception of the Lost City of Atlantis"; customers' cremains are mixed with water and then formed into road columns, archways or depictions of local sea life, such as starfish or seashells. Then the coral grows around them. "We have sea turtle placements; those are some of our more popular ones," Taber said. The reef has already been extended once, but when it fills up, "we will launch the next phase," he said. Coral reef conservation activists are thrilled; the reef provides hard surfaces that help coral to thrive. And loved ones can also dive to visit their family members' resting places. [ClickOrlando, 9/17/2024]

Police Report

Javaughn J. Owens, 23, was charged with first-degree attempted murder after he got into a dispute over a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on Sept. 15, the DeKalb County Daily Chronicle reported. A witness told DeKalb police that Owens and another man argued about the victim "not cleaning up after themselves," whereupon Owens swung a butter knife and struck the other man. The victim was seen at a local hospital but had to be transported to Chicago for further treatment of a punctured intestine. He said he believed "100%" that Owens would kill him. Owens faces up to 60 years in prison. [Daily Chronicle, 9/17/2024]

Inexplicable

Beaches along the Atlantic Ocean in Delaware, Maryland and Virginia were closed to swimmers by authorities on Sept. 15 after mysterious medical waste started washing up, The New York Times reported. The trash included syringes and needles, used feminine hygiene products and plastic cigar tips. "We currently have no idea where it came from and will not be speculating about a source," said the National Park Service office at Assateague Island National Seashore. They were unsure how long beaches would remain closed. "We recommend wearing shoes on the beach and avoiding the ocean entirely," warned Joe Theobald, director of Emergency Services in Ocean City, Maryland. [NY Times, 9/17/2024]

Saw That Coming

Norton Havoc, 32, can now "smell colors," they said, after blowing their nose in the shower and dislodging a Lego block that had been stuck inside for "at least 26 years," the New York Post reported. Havoc posted that they suffered from "multiple breathing issues" after the childhood incident; at the time, their mom tried to extricate the piece with tweezers, to no avail. "I can breathe out of this side of my nose now, and it's fantastic," Havoc said. [NY Post, 9/14/2024]

The Way the World Works

Vacaville, California, resident Ken Wilson is VERY careful about his consumption of electricity. "I was being very vigilant on this," he told KMAX-TV. "Every day that I go to work, I turn the breakers off." He also purchased a device that tells him how many watts of energy his appliances use. But recently he noticed that his bill was higher than normal. Wilson has lived in an apartment, unit 91 of his building, for 18 years. After Wilson called PG&E to come out and check his meter on Sept. 10, he discovered he's been paying for unit 90's electricity usage for years. PG&E admitted the mix-up and said it is "fully committed to rectifying the situation." Wilson said he hopes the story can help others with similar problems. [KMAX, 9/16/2024]

Politics, Am I Right?

As candidates for mayor in Sao Paulo, Brazil, took to the stage for a televised debate on Sept. 15, Pablo Marcal referred to allegations of sexual misconduct against his rival, Jose Luiz Datena, the Associated Press reported. In response, Datena picked up a metal chair and approached Marcal's podium, then slammed the chair into Marcal's side. The moderator cut to commercials, and later the debate resumed without Marcal, who was rushed to a hospital with a fractured rib cage. Marcal portrayed the event as "attempted homicide," while Datena admitted his mistake but said he didn't regret it "at all." [AP, 9/16/2024]

Explosive!

Magnet fisher and YouTuber Dani Dip pulled a provocative find out of the Saint Joseph River in South Bend, Indiana, on Sept. 1, ABC57-TV reported. "We believe this is a 175mm Howitzer round from like a stationary cannon back in the day," Dip said. "It took four people to pull this big 2-foot round over the wall to safety so it wouldn't fall back in and potentially go off." The South Bend Police Department said further testing would be necessary to make sure the charge is not live. "We're just here to help and clean out the river and see what we can find," Dip said. [ABC57, 9/3/2024]

Least Competent Criminal

When 33-year-old Ravesh Rabindranauth attempted to steal a Corvette in a Miami Beach, Florida, parking garage on Sept. 17, he encountered a little trouble, Local10-TV reported. He got stuck inside the car, which is where its owner, Julio Solano, found him. "Can I get out?" Rabindranauth asked Solano as Solano recorded the incident on his phone. "No, you can't get out. We're calling the police." Solano said the car's security system wouldn't allow the thief to start the car or escape. "He didn't know about the manual door release under the seat," Solano said. Rabindranauth was held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on $2,500 bond. [Local10, 9/18/2024]

When Las Vegas police responded to a call in the wee hours of Aug. 27 about someone lying face-down on the ground outside a funeral home, they might not have expected the most obvious explanation: They found a dead body amid the landscaping, with a casket nearby on a rolling cart. KTLA-TV reported that a door to the funeral home was open, and flower petals were scattered on the floor leading out of the door. Investigators learned that the body was that of a person who had been the subject of a viewing the previous day, and surveillance video showed a woman breaking in and moving the casket outside. Police arrested Patricia Sierra, 47, the next day and charged her with grand larceny, burglary and disturbing human remains; she couldn’t explain her actions, she said, because she had consumed six beers and blacked out. Sierra remained in jail on $11,000 bond. [KTLA, 9/5/2024]

The Passing Parade

On Sept. 10, as Delta Flight 295 taxied toward takeoff at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, the Airbus A350 headed for Tokyo clipped the tail off a smaller plane, the Associated Press reported. No one was injured on either aircraft, but passengers had to deplane and be rebooked on later flights. Jason Adams, who was aboard the regional jet headed to Louisiana, posted to X about the collision: “Well that was terrifying. ... Very jarring, metal scraping sounds then loud bangs. We’re fine. No fire or smoke,” he wrote. [AP, 9/10/2024]

Ewwwww!

-- How else do you celebrate Labor Day in Michigan than participating in a ranch dressing chugging contest? Fox17-TV reported that Zach Orvis of Belding, Michigan, won the first-ever competition at The Harmful Roester restaurant by downing 24 ounces of the creamy delight in 10 seconds, beating 11 other contestants. "I've seen people pour about that much on their salads, so what's the difference?" Orvis said. "I don't feel sick at all." Orvis won a $100 gift card and a free order of all-you-can-eat wings every week until spring 2025. [Fox17, 9/1/2024]

-- People in the Netherlands spend more than 900 million euros on drugs each year. How do we know this? KWR, the research institute for drinking water businesses, analyzed sewage samples. NL Times reported that the researchers looked for residue of cocaine, speed and ecstasy between 2015 and 2022 in Dutch sewage treatment plants. "We are assuming a fairly conservative estimate," KWR researcher Thomas ter Laak said. "This provides insight into the size and consumers of the Dutch illegal drug market." [NL Times, 9/12/2024]

Nine Lives

Nicci Knight of Newby, North Yorkshire, England, was enjoying a vacation in Turkey when her neighbors let her know they had found her cat, Ted, drowned in their pond. "I had to break the news to my husband and our four children, and we were all absolutely devastated," Knight said. The BBC reported on Sept. 6 that Knight arranged for her pet to be cremated and went on with the holiday. But four days later, her cat sitter, who had been looking after the family's other cat, called her and said Ted had just walked through the cat flap on the door. Knight realized she had "paid 130 pounds to cremate someone else's cat." After returning home, she collected the cremains, which had been labeled "Not Dead Ted." The family has not been able to trace the owner of the drowned cat; they believe it was probably a stray. [BBC, 9/6/2024]

Overreaction

A man suffered two brain bleeds, multiple skull fractures and multiple facial bone fractures, Las Vegas police said, after a convenience store clerk beat him with a bat for taking too much nacho cheese sauce. On Sept. 3, KSNV-TV reported, officers were called to the store where the man was lying on the ground and bleeding. The person who called 911 asked the clerk, Myron Bullie, to call for help, but he responded, "I'm not going to call 911. He better have learned a lesson." Bullie told police he had warned the victim about taking too much cheese, but the victim said he wasn't leaving without it. Bullie is being held on $10,000 bond at the Clark County Detention Center. [KSNV, 9/9/2024]

Great Art

The Museum of European and Mediterranean Civilizations in Marseilles, France, is offering special visiting hours to naturists -- people who shun clothing -- until Dec. 9, Canoe reported on Sept. 2. Nude patrons will be welcome one evening a month to see the exhibition "Naturist Paradises," which is described as a "journey of discovery of the very first naturist communities, first in Germany and Switzerland, then in France," according to the museum. Although nudity is welcome, the museum will require visitors to wear shoes "to avoid getting splinters," an official said. [Canoe, 9/2/2024]

Wait, What?

Earlier this year, social media star and model Suellen Carey, who lives in the United Kingdom, shared her wedding with her many followers, the Daily Star reported on Sept. 12. The ceremony was unconventional, as Carey married ... herself. She called her lifestyle "sologamy" -- or she did, until she recently divorced herself, even after several rounds of couples therapy. "It's crucial to know when to end a cycle," Carey posted. "Even commitment to oneself can have its challenges, such as dealing with the expectation of being perfect for yourself all the time." She said she felt lonely in her self-marriage and her own company was "exhausting." We can only imagine. [Daily Star, 9/12/2024]

Irony

While Britain's Policing Minister Dame Diana Johnson was addressing senior police officers on Sept. 10 about an "epidemic of antisocial behavior, theft and shoplifting," someone lifted her purse from the hotel where she was speaking, the BBC reported. A member of the Home Office staff also had belongings stolen. Warwickshire Police said they had arrested a 56-year-old man from Coventry in connection with the burglaries; he was released on bail. [BBC, 9/12/2024]

Police Report

Plaintiffs known only as "John and Jane Doe" have filed a $25,000 lawsuit in Florissant, Missouri, against the City of Florissant and an unknown police officer called "Joe Smith." The Does say Smith is "a sexual voyeur and predator of the worst kind," KMOV-TV reported on Sept. 11. According to the suit, Jane Doe was pulled over in February for a broken taillight. The officer asked if she had insurance and directed her to pull up proof on her phone and show it to him. At that point, he took her phone back to his cruiser, turned off the Bluetooth linked to her car, and didn't come back for 10 minutes. He didn't give her a ticket, but, she alleges, he scrolled through her photos and found intimate images that she had shared only with her husband. Jane Doe found out about his snooping when the FBI contacted her in July to ask that she identify a photo of herself that had been enlarged and printed. Agents said it was not the only photo of her that they found in the officer's possession. Jane Doe said she has been disturbed and has suffered humiliation, emotional distress and mistrust. The Florissant Police Department said in a statement that the officer is no longer employed there, and no other officers were involved. [KMOV, 9/11/2024]