Q: My grandson is going to be 2 years old next month. Whenever he doesn't get his way, he screams at the top of his lungs and throws a tantrum. My daughter says it's a stage, but I don't remember my kids doing that. What can I do to help?

Jim: Your concern for your grandson is admirable. Although you might not agree with your daughter's assessment that his tantrums are "just a stage," our counselors suggest that it's best to be careful in broaching the subject with her. Your grandson's parents should have the final say in the way their children are reared. Our counselors recommend that unless grandparents suspect negligence or neglect, they should offer advice only if asked; furthermore, grandparents should work at building a relationship in which they can compare notes and share the benefits of their parenting experience.

That said, if your daughter is open, there are some general principles you might share with her. Very young children sometimes need help controlling their emotional reactions. A parent's job is to set definite boundaries for the expression of childish anger and frustration, and to enforce those boundaries with consistent consequences. Time-outs are especially effective with toddlers. Taking a screaming toddler to a neutral location -- perhaps his bedroom -- and leaving him alone for a predetermined period usually does the trick. Our counselors suggest one minute of time-out for each year of a child's age -- in other words, two minutes for a 2-year-old.

Your daughter might also find useful advice in Dr. Kevin Leman's book, "Have a New Kid by Friday" (Revell, 2008). He suggests that the most effective strategy for extinguishing tantrums is to ignore them. Kids often throw tantrums as a way of manipulating their parents. If the parents refuse to be manipulated, the behavior often ceases.

Q: Our son has Asperger's syndrome and is now in high school. His attitude is changing, and he seems to be getting more rude and angry. He's socially awkward, and people don't understand his behavior. How can we help him and, more importantly, help those who befriend him understand how to deal with this kind of behavior?

Leon Wirth, Executive Director of Parenting and Youth: The teen years can be frustrating for any parent, without the added challenges of Asperger's (now classified as a high-functioning autism spectrum disorder). Our hearts go out to you and your son.

First, we're assuming your son is receiving ongoing psychological care. That is critical. Talk to your son's therapist about the changes in his behavior. It's possible that some of the problem can be minimized through medication, diet, supplements and other therapies. But that determination can be made only by a qualified professional.

When it comes to helping other people understand, direct them to a website or other information related to Asperger's. Don't embarrass your son or "make an example" of him. Rather, discreetly approach his teachers and the parents of his friends in an effort to educate them. Here are some resources:

WEBSITES:

-- The Online Asperger Syndrome Information and Support (OASIS) center (www.aspergersyndrome.org)

-- The National Dissemination Center for Children With Disabilities (nichcy.org)

-- The Autism Society (www.autism-society.org)

-- Autism Speaks (www.autismspeaks.org)

BOOKS:

-- "Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments: Practical Solutions for Tantrums, Rage and Meltdowns," by Brenda Smith Myles and Jack Southwick.

-- "Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum: A Parent's Guide to the Cognitive, Social, Physical and Transition Needs of Teenagers With Autism Spectrum Disorders," by Chantal Sicile-Kira.

Finally, don't hesitate to call our counseling team here at Focus for a free consultation. They can also provide a referral to a qualified counselor in your area. May God bless you and your son!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: My mother-in-law won't leave us alone. My husband and I were just married a few months ago, and she comes by all the time and calls constantly. My husband is afraid to talk to her because he doesn't want to make her mad. I'm so disappointed in him and feel like he should be handling this. Do you have any advice?

Jim: Your situation is troubling because it involves two issues: 1) your mother-in-law's interference, and 2) the wedge that this has created between you and your husband. We'd suggest that it's critical to deal with the second issue before tackling the first.

More than anything, you and your husband need to be "on the same team" here. As a couple, you can't expect to enforce appropriate boundaries with his mom while you're simultaneously at odds with one another. So spend some time alone together and make sure you can agree on an appropriate plan of action. You're right; the issue is with his mom, and he needs to take the lead in addressing it. If he can't find the courage to do that, we'd suggest that you seek the assistance of an experienced family therapist. Contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation and a referral to a qualified counselor in your area.

Once you and your husband are prepared to operate as a united front, our counseling team suggests that you sit down with his mom and lovingly but firmly let her know that her constant interference is not healthy -- for her or for your marriage. Again, your husband should take the lead in this conversation. He should reassure her of your mutual love and respect for her, but also be firm about keeping healthy boundaries in place.

Q: My husband was just offered a job in another state. Due to the economy, we're struggling financially. I've tried to find a job in the same area, but nothing has opened up. The only solution we can come up with is to live separately for a while until one of us can find a job where the other person is living. But I'm afraid that we'll grow apart. How we can remain close during this transition? I know military families face this all the time.

Dr. Greg Smalley, Executive Director of Marriage and Family Formation: Your analogy to military families is a good one, although at least military families usually have a set date when the tour of duty ends. Your "reunification date" remains up in the air.

Author Erin Prater has written extensively on the challenges couples face during times when they have no choice but to live apart. Here are a few of her suggestions for helping your marriage thrive during this period:

-- Assemble a support network of same-gender friends and married couples. Enjoy regular fellowship and accountability with this group.

-- Develop a new interest. Audit a college class, join a book club, start exercising, etc.

-- Keep a journal of your daily activities -- challenges, funny stories, etc. -- and then share it with your spouse when you talk.

-- Send "care packages" to one another.

-- Pen an old-fashioned love letter. Don't use it to discuss the budget and other business. Write solely for the purpose of conveying your love.

-- Have a pizza or takeout delivered to your spouse.

-- Call your spouse when you know he'll be unavailable and leave a sweet voicemail. He'll be able to play it over and over when he misses you.

For more tips and ideas, visit the Marriage section of our website at www.focusonthefamily.com. Best wishes to you and your husband!

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

Q: My wife was just diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. She rarely engages in conversation, and even though she's on medication, she acts like she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. She's not the same person I married. I try to talk to her, and she says it's just a phase and to leave her alone. I am so hurt. What can I do?

Jim: We're sorry to learn of your predicament. Clinical depression is a complex problem involving a blend of genetic, biochemical, personal and spiritual factors. That being the case, our counseling team recommends that you not take your wife's behavior toward you personally. The forces contributing to her emotional distance are beyond her control.

Your mention of a diagnosis suggests that your wife is receiving ongoing care. That is essential in a situation like this. Our counselors suggest that you encourage her to continue taking her medication and to remain under the care of a trained physician or qualified professional.

You might also read an excellent book on this subject: "Mood Swings" (Thomas Nelson; 2001) by Dr. Paul Meier. It will help you understand how to support and encourage your wife while at the same time maintaining realistic expectations and boundaries.

Finally, you should be aware of your own needs during this emotionally trying time. You're in a difficult position, and you need all the outside help you can get. Seek out a support network through your church or a special interest group. And don't be afraid to enlist the assistance of a licensed counselor, with or without your wife's willing participation. Contact Focus on the Family for a referral.

Q: I'm a single mom with two children. My ex-husband doesn't have anything to do with our kids, which is devastating to them. Whenever my 8-year-old daughter gets in trouble, she starts to say things like "I hate myself" and "I'm worthless." I think this is due to her not having both parents involved in her life. How can I help her be more positive about herself?

Leon Wirth, executive director of Parenting and Youth: Our hearts go out to you and your kids as you face this difficult situation. Children react to divorce in different ways, depending on age and a variety of other factors that can affect their sense of self-worth.

Younger kids may blame themselves for the divorce, in which case it's important to reassure them that your struggles as a couple had absolutely nothing to do with them. Teens and young adults may actually feel relieved after the strife of the divorce has ended, and this in turn may cause them to beat themselves up for taking a positive view of a bad thing like divorce.

What can you do to help ease your daughter's pain? First, encourage her to talk about what she's feeling and why she thinks these feelings are popping up. Help her to see that, though life has changed dramatically, things won't always feel as bad as they feel right now. Give her hope for the future, and do everything you can to maintain normalcy and routine in her life.

Also, reassure her that she has value to you, simply because "you are you." And help her find other healthy adult mentors with whom she can be honest about her feelings; alert teachers, school counselors, youth leaders or a pastor to the situation.

Finally, we'd strongly encourage you and your kids to seek a trained family therapist to help you weather this storm. Contact Focus on the Family for a free consultation with a counselor, as well as a referral for ongoing care in your area.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.