There’s a group of people in our schools I never knew existed: adults who believe it’s OK to humiliate a hungry child who doesn’t have money for lunch.

These people came to public attention when New Mexico had to pass a law specifically banning “lunch shaming.”

“Lunch shaming” involves the adults in a school deciding that embarrassing a hungry child whose parents are behind on the bill is a good way of getting parents to pay up.

A report in the New York Times describes the ways some schools do this: In Alabama, a child short on funds was stamped on the arm with “I Need Lunch Money.” In other schools, children are forced to clean cafeteria tables in front of their peers to pay the debt, or wear a wristband. Some schools require cafeteria workers to take a child’s hot food and throw it away if he can’t pay for it.

They throw a perfectly fine hot lunch in the trash and hand the child a sandwich with a single slice of cheese in it.

What a disgrace. What an utter failure on the part of any adult who would support such a policy. It’s an indictment of our collective sense of empathy if adults have to pass laws telling school workers not to shame a child in a lunch line.

How can anyone with a shred of human decency justify humiliating children -- who cannot get jobs and earn their own money -- for their parents’ inability to pay?

I’ve had two children in public schools for eight years, and I was an education reporter for many years prior to that. I’ve seen my share of inexplicable or misguided school policies, but I’ve never seen something so cruel devised by adults charged with educating or caring for children.

School principals like to talk about their school communities as “families,” but could they behave with such callousness toward a hungry child in their own family?

There are schools in our wealthy nation with an overabundance of food that have a “no money, no meal” policy. Cafeteria workers have quit over it.

Stacy Koltiska, a Pittsburgh-area cafeteria worker, had to take a hot lunch away from an elementary school child who had a negative balance on his account in the Canon-McMillan school district last fall. She resigned over the policy.

“As a Christian, I have an issue with this,” said Koltiska in news reports. “It’s sinful and shameful is what it is.”

I’m with Koltiska. Any Muslim, Jew, Christian or decent human being should have an issue with this.

Research shows that it’s harder for hungry kids to learn. That’s common sense, and some helpful policies do exist. Federal guidelines state that a family of four with an income of $31,590 or less qualifies for free school lunches, while families making up to $44,955 qualify for reduced-price lunches.

Some districts with high concentrations of poverty have moved to providing universal free lunch. But what about children in suburban districts where there are lower percentages of children eligible for free or reduced-price lunch? What about cases in which parents don’t know how to apply, or are too embarrassed to admit they are struggling financially? Or families who fall just above the cutoff?

There are adults who believe these children should be denied a lunch and humiliated in front of their peers.

I didn’t know lunch shaming existed. I didn’t know we needed a law to tell adults these practices are deplorable. And I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know how my own school district handled situations where students’ lunch balances went unpaid.

I called my district’s communications office to find out, and learned that parents receive an email and a letter when their child’s lunch balance drops below $5. Our schools allow three charges against an account that hasn’t been paid. After that, cafeteria workers are told to call the principal, who can access an emergency fund to pay for the lunch and contact the parents to see if they need help filling out eligibility paperwork for reduced pricing. If the principal determines there isn’t a financial hardship, and the bill is still unpaid, the child will get a sack lunch -- cheese sandwich, a piece of fruit, and milk or juice -- instead of the hot lunch. No child is denied food completely.

This is likely a typical procedure in many districts. It’s not overt shaming, but it’s still the child with the sack lunch who bears the consequences for a parent’s behavior.

I thought about what home circumstances might lead to a parent ignoring repeated emails, letters and calls about an unpaid lunch balance. I don’t know what that child had for breakfast, nor do I know what he or she will eat for dinner. Yet, as a school community, as a so-called “family,” can we really not ensure that any child who wants a hot lunch in our school gets one?

Well, then, shame on us.

It always seemed safe to assume that the vast majority of men understood -- just as well as women -- how babies are made.

Not so fast, it seems. A new survey has forced us to reconsider what we thought we knew. Apparently, 52 percent of men say they haven’t benefited personally from women having access to affordable birth control. This was a widely reported finding from a recent survey by nonpartisan polling group PerryUndem. Nine percent of the men surveyed weren’t sure if they had benefited, and 3 percent refused to answer the question.

The remaining third, who recognize a personal benefit when they see one, may be just as perplexed by their cohort as many women who saw this report.

Did more than half of men skip a vital part of middle school health class?

Nearly all women have used some kind of contraception at some point, and the majority of women of reproductive age do. About 62 percent of women of reproductive age are currently using a contraceptive method, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a research and policy organization. The birth control pill and female sterilization are the most commonly used methods.

It seems odd to have to connect the dots here, but this is for the 52 percent: If women didn’t have access to birth control, there would be far more unplanned pregnancies. Men would have, at bare minimum, an 18-year-long financial obligation to any child they had fathered. Any man who has relied on a woman’s contraceptive use, ever, to avoid pregnancy has personally benefited from her access to it.

This cause-and-effect relationship seems fairly straightforward. When I asked my husband to explain what the 52 percent may have been thinking, he questioned the survey methodology.

“Did they just survey teenagers?” he asked. (I wondered myself if celibacy rates are higher than anyone ever guessed.)

Nope. The researchers called a representative sample of voters, so the respondents were 18 or older.

The men most likely to say they had benefited from women’s access to birth control were 18 to 44 years old -- perhaps not coincidentally, those in closest proximity to women of childbearing age. Those most likely to deny any benefit were 60 years and older. (Maybe memories have dimmed of activities from more virile years. Helpful hint: Even if it was years ago, you still benefited.)

I wonder how this same demographic of men would respond if they had been asked if women benefited from men having access to Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs. Might they see their sexual health as mutually beneficial to their partners?

The details of this survey revealed a few other interesting perceptions. Research shows 99 percent of women will use birth control in their lifetimes, and married women are more likely to use prescription birth control than unmarried women. But the majority of respondents underestimated birth control usage and believed unmarried and married women used birth control equally.

These perceptions can affect policy, as we’ve seen in the national debate over health care and what should be covered by insurance companies.

The vast majority of women recognize that having access to birth control is an important part of women’s equality and affects a woman’s ability to be financially stable. But the survey also found majorities of men agreeing that access to affordable birth control affects the financial situation of families, impacts stress in relationships and helps the economy.

It was a hypothetical question that was most telling, however. Surveyed voters were asked: If men were the ones who got pregnant and gave birth, would Congress still want to get rid of birth control benefits?

In that case, 68 percent of men said male politicians would keep birth control benefits.

It’s funny how the perception of personal benefit can flip with the perception of personal risk.

The messages might start showing up on a social media account. Vulgar slurs and insults posted on Instagram, or embarrassing pictures sent through Snapchat, where photos and videos automatically delete after a few seconds.

For years, bullies have gone online to harass peers they want to target. Now that the vast majority of tweens and teens are constantly connected through their devices, a child being cyberbullied can feel relentlessly under attack.

This creates one of the most difficult situations for a parent to address. Parents say it seems like a no-win situation. A child being targeted will plead with them not to get involved for fear that it will make only make matters worse for them. School administrators may not get involved if the harassment is happening outside of the school day, or they may be unable to track down the perpetrators.

It’s a more common experience than many adults realize.

About 28 percent of the students surveyed by the Cyberbullying Research Center reported that they have been cyberbullied at some point in their lifetimes. About 16 percent admitted that they had cyberbullied others. Professors Sameer Hinduja and Justin Patchin, who direct the center, offer useful tips for parents about how to handle a cyberbullying situation. They say to take these incidents seriously, but not to freak out. Don’t minimize what your child is feeling, or assume that simply ignoring the abuse will end it.

Collecting evidence is key, they say.

“Print out or make screenshots of conversations, messages, pictures and any other items which can serve as clear proof that your child is being cyberbullied. Keep a record of any and all incidents to assist in the investigative process. Also, keep notes on relevant details like location, frequency, severity of harm, third-party involvement or witnesses, and the backstory,” their guidelines say.

They suggest refraining from contacting the bullies’ parents, who may become confrontational or defensive. Instead, they advise contacting the school and finding out the district’s policies about bullying and cyberbullying, which often go hand-in-hand. The school has an obligation to ensure a safe learning environment for all students. But even in situations when the school is slow or reluctant to deal with the situation, they offer other avenues to pursue:

-- Contact the service provider. Cyberbullying violates the Terms of Service of all legitimate service providers (websites, apps, Internet or cell companies). Regardless of whether your child can identify who is harassing them, you can file a report with the company about online abuse.

-- Contact the police when physical threats are involved. If your local department is not helpful, reach out to county or state law enforcement officials, as they may have more resources and expertise in technology-related offenses.

-- If the bullying is based on race, sex or disability, contact the Office for Civil Rights.

-- Seek counseling for your child, if necessary.

-- Set up privacy controls for every social media account to block the bully from contacting them.

There have been several high-profile, tragic cases involving students who had been bullied, including a 2006 case that led to a Missouri teen’s suicide. In the wake of Megan Meier’s death, an anti-bullying nonprofit was started in her name. Alex King, a program manager for the Megan Meier Foundation, has worked with parents for the past three years when they call seeking help for children being bullied.

“They are terrified,” she said. “They are frustrated.”

Often, they don’t know where else to turn and are worried something will happen to their children, King said. The foundation can help to intervene with the school district, share resources for parents and even provide free counseling for children being bullied.

King said they want the child to know it’s OK to ask for help and also involve them in solving the problem. They stress to the children they work with that the bullying is never their fault.

“This should not be happening to you,” she tells them.

Children can be cruel to one another. But adults shouldn’t tolerate it.