DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old daughter has come to me with a troubling question. She asked me if it is OK not to like her body. I did not have a response because I was scared that anything I said to her could irreparably change how she views herself. What do you think I can say to my daughter to help her love herself again? -- Body Positivity
DEAR BODY POSITIVITY: This is the time to ask your daughter questions. Be gentle as you talk to her. Do not interrogate. Ask questions and listen carefully. Do not pass judgment. Just hear her and let her know that you are hearing her. Among the questions you may want to ask: How do you feel? What don’t you like about your body? Is there anything that you do like? Have you always felt this way? Did anything happen to make you feel this way?
Since your daughter is 14, chances are, her body is changing dramatically. She is an adolescent. Her hormones could easily be causing her to have mood swings that may be impacting her body image.
Think about how you felt about yourself when you were her age. Did you ever feel uncomfortable in your skin? If you can recall awkward moments, ask her if you can tell her things about your life. She may be able to relate to your stories as she considers her own.
If it seems that she needs more support than you have to offer, schedule a meeting with an adolescent psychologist who can help her work through her thoughts and feelings.