DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are getting married in a year. We have some very close gay friends, and I have gay family members on my mom's side. The majority of our family is gay-friendly, but a few of them on my father's side are very open about their dislike of the LGBT community.

Our ceremony will be at a Unitarian Universalist church because we love that they are supportive of the LGBT community and want everyone to feel comfortable and accepted on our big day. I'm terrified that my family members will do or say something to hurt or offend guests at our wedding who have same-sex partners.

I am considering putting a note on my wedding website that our wedding will be a celebration of love, and to please set aside political and personal beliefs and accept every one of our guests during this happy occasion. Would this be appropriate? I don't know how else to convey the message that we will not tolerate any hateful or offensive remarks or actions against our loved ones. -- BRIDE FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY

DEAR BRIDE: Do not post that message on your website. Your message should be delivered via a telephone conversation with the people you think may have a problem. A way to phrase it would be to tell them you are planning your wedding and that some of the guests in attendance will be same-sex couples. Ask if this would make them uncomfortable, and if the answer is yes, do not invite them.

DEAR ABBY: My darling husband recently passed away. It's a sad time for all of us. I wrote his obituary for our local paper and included the names of charitable causes, requesting donations be sent to them in lieu of flowers.

I sent the obituary to my husband's mother and sister who live out of state, in case they wanted to publish it in their local paper in the town where he grew up. They did, but changed the charities to ones of their choice. They didn't tell me they were doing it or ask my opinion. I found out only when I saw his obituary online.

I am extremely upset, especially because one of the causes they listed is a hospital I feel contributed to my husband's early death. What is the etiquette in this situation? Was it acceptable for them to make that change? Should I say something, or should I let it go? -- WOUNDED WIDOW IN TEXAS

DEAR WOUNDED WIDOW: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. You have every right to be upset that his obituary was altered. What his mother and sister did was wrong. They should not have changed it without your permission.

By all means, tell them how you feel about what they did, and that you feel the care your husband received at that hospital contributed to his early death. Had they consulted you as they should have, they would have known better.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a vegetarian for 12 years. My husband has been one on and off for five years. I thought our children, 7 and 3, had never had meat in their lives.

I recently found out that my father-in-law has been feeding them chicken nuggets from fast food. I was, and still am, very upset about it. It has been six months and I haven't talked to him since and no longer let my kids go over there without my husband. He texted me an apology that seemed very sarcastic and made me even angrier.

Everyone says I need to get over it, but no one has confronted him about it. This has put a strain on my relationship with my husband. Can you please advise me on what to do next? -- FURIOUS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FURIOUS: Text messages are, by definition, terse. Accept the apology you were given and move forward.

That said, however, continue to insist that your children be under their father's supervision when they visit their grandfather because his judgment is questionable, and he has already shown that when they are with him, your wishes will not be enforced.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a few negative encounters with dog owners who invited me to their home and became upset because I pushed their pet away when it tried to jump/lick/nudge me (although I do it gently). While I understand I am entering the dog's territory, I think it's inconsiderate when pet owners not only refuse to restrain their pets, but also imply that I'm somehow a lesser human being because I don't want my personal space infringed upon by an aggressive animal.

I would never allow my children to behave similarly around guests. If I knew people were uncomfortable with my children climbing on them, as a polite host, I would ask my children to leave that person alone. To me it seems this is a mutual respect issue. Am I wrong? -- DOG ENCOUNTERS

DEAR DOG ENCOUNTERS: No, you're not wrong. People have had scratches on their legs and items of clothing ruined because a dog jumped on them. The problem is that some dog owners identify so strongly with their pet that they lose the ability to distinguish between it and themselves -- and take anything they perceive as a rejection personally.

While a guest may be technically on a dog's turf, that doesn't mean the guest should be fair game. Considerate hosts control their dog until it has calmed down enough to be properly introduced.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 19-year-old granddaughter who has three tattoos and now a ring in her nose. Any suggestions as to what I might say to her to stop the destruction? -- GRANDDAD IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR GRANDDAD: Whether your granddaughter is "destroying" herself is a matter of opinion. Obviously, she doesn't think so. That's why I'm advising you to say nothing beyond "I love you" to her because she is now an adult and responsible for the choices she makes.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son are heroin addicts. After living through this hell for 11 years, I have reached my breaking point. My daughter, who just turned 18, is in jail. My heart is broken. Therapists, parent sessions, etc. haven't helped.

I'm 60 years old and should be retiring, but my retirement money was all spent on rehabs, etc. I won't even go into the many items that were stolen from me.

How do I move on? I'm so depressed I can't get out of bed in the morning, and I cry all day. I don't want to take meds for depression because drugs have caused all my misery. My marriage is falling apart too. How do I carry on with this misery? -- MISERABLE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR MISERABLE: The way to carry on is to let it go. If you haven't heard of Nar-Anon, you should check into it. It's a support group for the family and friends of people who are addicted to narcotics, based on the principles of Al-Anon, which is for the loved ones of alcoholics. Help is as near as your computer. Visit nar-anon.org to find a group near you, and you will find that you are not as alone as you feel right now.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago I discovered my wife had been cheating on me with an ex-boyfriend for eight years. We have two young children, so we resolved our differences and decided against divorce.

Now she says she wants us to have another baby. I feel I cannot handle a pregnancy with her because of her infidelity. As a hands-on father, I would want to be part of the pregnancy and the complications/changes that come with it. How should I handle this and express to her why I cannot (at this point) have another child with her? -- HANDS-ON DAD

DEAR DAD: Clearly you are not over your wife's infidelity, and frankly, I can't blame you. The best way to get the message across to her would be during marriage counseling.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago I gifted one of my nephews, who was serving in the military at the time, with a .38-caliber revolver that had belonged to my uncle and reportedly had been used during World War I. I also gave his older brother a Colt .45 pistol from World War II.

The nephew with the .38 revolver suffered from PTSD and died several years ago. The gun went to his father. My question is, shouldn't I have been asked if I wanted the revolver returned? I didn't give it to his father but to him. The father has made no attempt to return it to me.

Abby, guns with histories are very personal to owners, and this one was doubly personal and an antique. What should I do? -- EMPTY HOLSTER IN TEXAS

DEAR EMPTY HOLSTER: Technically, once a gift is given it becomes the property of the person who receives it. Because your nephew is deceased -- and I'm assuming his father is his next of kin -- the gun became the father's property. Since the gun has emotional significance to you because of its history, depending upon your relationship with the father, you can ask him to return it -- or offer to buy it back from him. However, there is no guarantee he will agree to your request.