DEAR ABBY: I am 32 and in a relationship with a 31-year-old single mother. Her son, "Steven," is 7. Her daughter, "Jessica," is 15.

I am a stay-at-home dad. Both kids refer to me as "Dad," as I have been a part of Steven's life more than his (incarcerated) dad has ever been. Because I am a stay-at-home dad, this means I take Steven to various professional appointments, doctors, including a psychiatrist for ADHD, the dentist and various sports activities.

I was informed three weeks ago Jessica is pregnant. When I take our boy for doctor's visits, they always want guarantor information, and I always sign. But after a recent checkup of his, I called for results and was outright lied to -- "We don't have the results back" -- and Jessica's doctor said they can't release any information to me.

Abby, I'm in this for the long haul. If doctors will let me sign to pay their medical expenses but I can't have the results, what can I do? -- STAY-AT-HOME-DAD

DEAR "DAD": A guarantor is different from a legal guardian or parent. Have their mother call the doctors and request the information so she can share it with you. And if you haven't suggested to Jessica's mother that her daughter should be put on long-acting birth control, I think the time has come.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently moved into our dream home and invited my family over to see it. My sister noticed that the house had been designed to be handicapped accessible. We confirmed that it had been built by an elderly couple. The doors and walkways are larger than normal, there are handrails in the bathroom, a seat in the shower, etc. She went on to say that we shouldn't have purchased the house because we were "taking it from someone who may have needed it." Then she compared us to someone who parks in a handicap parking space without a permit.

The thought had never occurred to me. I loved the openness of the floor plan; it was a huge selling point for me. The house is within walking distance of my work and had been on the market for two years. The sellers were thrilled to have someone finally buy it. The community has been nothing but welcoming to us and seems glad to have a nice family move into a home that was built by much-loved neighbors. Should we have passed on it and continued our search? -- DREAM HOME OWNER IN KANSAS

DEAR OWNER: Of course not! The house served the needs of the couple who built it. Now it is yours and doing the same for you and your family. Enjoy it! And the next time your jealous sister brings up the subject -- we both know she will -- hand her an antacid tablet and talk about something else.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who I suspect has a mental problem. I wonder if it may be a disease of some kind. No matter what I talk about -- what I've done, who I know or what I have -- she one-ups me by saying she has done or had the same thing. It really grates on my nerves. Do you think it's a habit or a disease? -- OUTDONE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR OUTDONE: It's not a disease, but an obnoxious habit. The "cure" may be to tell the woman how what she's doing makes you feel. The result will be that she either stops trying to top you or ends the friendship. Either one will be a relief.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 42 years. For the most part, we have had a good marriage. We raised two children, are helping to raise three grandchildren and still enjoy each other's company.

I am retiring shortly and looking forward to enjoying it. For years I have anticipated being free to travel the country and see things I didn't have the time to see when I was employed. The problem is, I like the idea of seeing the country via road trip. My wife says she's a "homebody" and doesn't want to be "stuck in the car" for a week.

Several friends have suggested I should take my road trips without my wife. I don't really want to do that, and she says that if I did, she would feel deserted. How can I be a good husband and spend time with my wife, and not feel cheated out of something I have wanted to do for so long? -- HEADED FOR THE OPEN ROAD

DEAR HEADED: I can't help thinking about how many widows would give anything to share an adventure like that with their husband. I also don't think leaving one's spouse for a week qualifies as desertion. Many husbands and wives do it regularly to conduct their business. Perhaps if you return from one of your excursions with tales of how beautiful and interesting the road trip was, it will pique her interest.

P.S. If the problem is that your vehicle is too small, have you considered renting something larger to give your wife more room to stretch out?

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. With every year that passes, I fall more in love with him. He's a wonderful person who treats me very well.

I could go on and on about how caring and considerate he is. However, when it comes to being intimate, I'm just not interested. I have known him for so long and know him so well that, for me, the "spark" is extinguished. In some ways, he almost feels like a brother, which makes it difficult to have sexual feelings.

I tell him many times a day that I love him, because I do. I want him to know he's my best friend and I care deeply about him. We have tried role playing, games, sexy clothing, etc. -- nothing helps me. I go through the motions when I must, because I know it is one of the ways he expresses his love for me.

I don't want to be with anyone else. I just want to know how I can feel excited about being intimate again. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated. -- EXTINGUISHED SPARKS

DEAR EXTINGUISHED: My suggestion would be to have a frank talk with your OB/GYN about this, and ask for a referral to an endocrinologist -- a doctor who specializes in hormones. If, after a checkup, your hormone balances are what they should be, some sessions with a psychologist for you -- and a sex therapist for both of you -- might relight the spark that has fizzled. It's worth a try.

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DEAR ABBY: I have two friends I am equally close to, "Jane" and "Mary." We live in the same neighborhood. They are both married, live across the street from each other and spend time together almost every day. Their children play together. I spend a lot of time with both families, and my children play with theirs.

Jane is having an affair with Mary's husband and has confided in me about every detail. She keeps telling me it's over, and then I find out it isn't. I spoke to Mary's husband and told him if it doesn't stop, I'll tell Mary. (Jane doesn't know I talked to him.)

They recently had another "weak moment." Should I tell Mary what's going on? Her husband has cheated in the past, and she chose to stay with him. I'm afraid the fallout from her finding out will be two broken marriages and several broken friendships. It's very difficult to spend time with any/all of them knowing what I know. I feel like my silence is betraying Mary. Help! -- WISH I DIDN'T KNOW

DEAR WISH: You are already more involved in this than you should be, and Jane should not have placed you in that position. Mary knows she has a philandering husband but chose to remain with him. I vote for keeping your lip zipped and trying to stay out of the line of fire.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 38 years. We divorced once, but remarried. We have four grown sons and six grandchildren.

He retired a year and a half ago, and I went through menopause. There has been constant contention since. He wants to fight over everything and won't speak to me for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. I feel I am being emotionally abused. When I asked him for another divorce, he told me not to be ridiculous.

Four months ago, I moved out and moved in with my dad to be his caretaker. Dad is 95 and on home hospice.

I am so much happier not living with my husband. When my father passes away, I dread having to move back with my husband. I know we probably need counseling, but he doesn't agree.

I want to live a happy, peaceful life. My husband seems to enjoy the constant fighting. Should I get my own place and live apart from my husband when my dad passes? -- UNHAPPILY MARRIED IN UTAH

DEAR UNHAPPILY MARRIED: Your husband's silent treatment qualifies as emotional abuse. You do not have to tolerate it. Before making plans about where you will live after your father's passing, discuss this with a lawyer. Marriage isn't slavery, and you do not need your abuser's "permission" to divorce him (again).

DEAR ABBY: I am suddenly encountering workplace hostility from someone I thought was my friend. I'm not sure if I did something to offend this person or if there is some other reason. What can I do to get to the bottom of this? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN TEXAS

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: It says in the Bible, "Seek and you shall find." In your case, it means ask the person what's going on and why there has been a change in attitude. That's the quickest way to learn the reason.