Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I want to know if I should ask my neighbor out. I'm a female, and I don't want to come across as aggressive. I'm also a Christian who was taught that a woman should never ask a guy out. Could I ask him out to hang out -- not necessarily for a date?

I'm a single parent of a 14-year-old. This neighbor is cute and single and has two kids. I don't know him well. I've made many mistakes with men in the past, which is why I'm cautious. What's your advice? -- CAREFUL IN WYOMING

DEAR CAREFUL: Many men would be very happy to be asked out. Because you haven't had the opportunity to get to know this man, it may be time to create one. Consider hosting a friendly get-together for some of your neighbors and invite him and his children to participate. You didn't mention how old his children are, but if they hit it off with yours, so much the better. It's a friendly gesture that shouldn't be considered aggressive.

DEAR ABBY: I work retail and have bipolar disorder. (I have been stable for nine years.) A few Christmases ago, a customer called me "hateful" because I wished her a Merry Christmas. (She doesn't come into the store anymore.) My manager and co-workers explained that she was in a bad mood that day, and it wasn't my fault.

Due to my illness, I am obsessed with thoughts that it will happen again during the holidays, and I won't know what to say or how to react, or I'll think it's my fault. Worse yet, I no longer want to say Merry Christmas again, although I will try. Do you have any advice in case I get another bad reaction? -- GREETING IN THE EAST

DEAR GREETING: You did nothing wrong! When December rolls around, the expressions "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" are very common. If a customer takes offense, all you need to reply is, "Excuse me if I offended you." And if you're still worried about this issue, discuss it with your doctor or therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I am a Southern belle who was given two "first" names, such as Mary Lou (Peggy Sue, Betty Ann, Bobbi Jo, etc.). All my life the second half of my first name has been dropped. When I sign in at a doctor's office as "Mary Lou," it never fails that when I'm called or the receptionist looks at my records, my name is listed as Mary even after I have explained that my name is Mary LOU. At the pharmacy, I am asked my birth date because they say they have several Mary Smiths, even when I say I am Mary Lou Smith. Can you please tell me what I can say so they will remember that I have two first names? -- NOT JUST MARY, IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NOT JUST MARY: Try this the next time it happens. Look the person in the eye and say, "I prefer to be called by my full name. It's Mary Lou, NOT Mary. Please note that in your computer so we can be clear about it."

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a great guy for two years. We each have two kids from a previous marriage. I am still legally married (separated almost three years) and am in the process of divorcing. My ex is stubborn and vindictive. He's dragging this whole thing out for no good reason other than to spite me.

I brought up the issue of moving in together with my boyfriend, but he told me he isn't ready. Clearly, since my divorce isn't final, we aren't getting engaged or married anytime soon, but I think it would be the next logical step in moving forward in our relationship.

We see each other every weekend, our kids get along great, and I yearn to blend this already blended family under one roof. I love him, and he says he loves me. He says the fact that I'm still legally married doesn't bother him.

I'm wondering, because after two years he still isn't ready, if he'll ever be ready. What if my divorce isn't final for years? Must I wait until then to be living together?

Honestly, I just want to go to bed with him and wake up with him every morning. Should I set myself a time limit for him to move forward, or should I quit now? We get along in every way, and this is the one worry in the back of my mind. -- WAITING IN NEW YORK

DEAR WAITING: You and your boyfriend need to have an honest conversation. It's possible he may want to avoid the present drama in your divorce. It's equally possible that he doesn't want to move in together because he likes your relationship just the way it is -- living independently from Monday to Friday while enjoying the pleasure of each other's company on weekends.

If this is the case, you need to know that things may not change if and when your husband decides to finalize the divorce. This is something you may also want to discuss with your divorce lawyer. There may be a way to sever the tie that binds. You should not be held captive for years because your spiteful almost-ex is dragging things out.

DEAR ABBY: One of my close friends' 37-year-old daughter was recently married. One hundred and fifty people were invited to her wedding, and I was not one of them. I sent a gift to the bride and groom before the wedding. We have been neighbors and close friends of her parents for 25 years. Needless to say, I am hurt.

My friend keeps sharing all the particulars and photos with me, which I gush over, but she doesn't realize my heart is broken. I thought we were the best of friends. She has other close friends, and I know them too. They were all at the wedding. I am sad and clueless about why I was snubbed, and I can't get over it. Help! -- HURTING INSIDE

DEAR HURTING: It was not your friend's wedding you were eliminated from but her daughter's. If there were 150 guests, half may have come from the groom's side -- friends, relatives, etc. Also, the happy couple may have wanted to include their own contemporaries. Level with your neighbor about how you feel and ask why you were left off the guest list. You may not have been snubbed at all.

DEAR ABBY: My companion of many years and I are retired and live a few hours away from some of his family. When one of them plans a visit, she always insists on taking us out for a meal. She doesn't ask if we would like to eat out but rather "commands" it. Then she insists on paying for the meal.

I enjoy cooking and visiting with family during and after meals. I know what our dietary restrictions are, and most restaurant meals do not meet those requirements, which include low sodium, fat and sugar and no gluten. According to my companion, I'm a good cook, and he enjoys everything I make.

I know I should say something, but what? I need a suggestion on how to deal with the situation without hurting anyone's feelings. -- THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

DEAR T.B.N.T.: This relative may not mean to seem overbearing and may only be trying to be nice. Thank her warmly for wanting to take you to dinner, but tell her no. Explain that because of medical reasons, both of you must strictly limit the sodium, fat, sugar and gluten in your diet, which is why the two of you have decided it is "safer" to eat at home, where you can control what goes into your food. Then invite her to join you because you would love to see her and spend time with her while she's in town.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a difficult situation. My dear friends and bosses, "Rebecca" and "Caesar," are selling their home. They had offered to sell it to me and, at the time, I was interested in buying it. Then I did the one thing I never thought I would do. I found love. Because it's no longer just me, their house won't work for us. I was honest with my friends. They have been giving me the silent treatment ever since, and it's causing problems at work. What is a girl to do? -- IN LOVE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR IN LOVE: Recognize that Rebecca and Caesar are understandably upset that what they thought would be a quick and easy sale has now become more complicated. Explain to them again that you didn't mean to cause them a problem, but your circumstances changed. And if they continue to take out their disappointment by punishing you at work, look for another job.

DEAR ABBY: I agreed to pay for a cellphone for a friend's daughter while she went to school in the U.S. She was supposed to be here for three years. WELL, it is now year four, and she's planning to stay here after graduation. How do I tell her that I am not willing to continue paying for her phone after graduation? -- TRIED TO HELP IN TEXAS

DEAR TRIED TO HELP: You have several choices. You can tell her parents, write to her or call her on the cellphone you have so generously underwritten. And after you deliver the message, you should be thanked for your generosity not only by her but also her parents.