DEAR ABBY: Years ago, you published a recipe for cheesecake, which you said was very good. Well, it was not only "good" -- it was TERRIFIC. As a native New Yorker, I know cheesecake.

I have moved and lost my recipe. Can you republish it? It's the best! -- CHEESECAKE LOVER IN DELAND, FLA.

DEAR LOVER: Thank you for the compliment. I'm glad to oblige. My mother made it -- with either cherry or blueberry topping -- and I have fond memories of raiding the refrigerator with her again and again for "just a smidgen" more! We both carried the sweet tooth gene, and I have many delightful memories of her dinner and dessert recipes, which comprise the Dear Abby cookbooklet set. Mama was a talented hostess and prepared them for dinner parties (so have I). For readers interested in ordering the set, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. In addition to the recipes, there are tips on entertaining, and anyone who hasn't entertained before should be sure to read them. By following the suggestions, even the most nervous first-time host or hostess can be confident.

I hope you will enjoy making this cheesecake for many more years, because I serve it with pride.

ABBY'S CHEESECAKE

CRUST:

1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs

1/2 cup butter, melted (1 stick)

1/3 cup powdered sugar

CHEESECAKE:

3 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened

4 eggs

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 pint dairy sour cream (at room temperature)

1 (21-ounce) can prepared cherry, blueberry or strawberry pie filling

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Combine graham cracker crumbs, powdered sugar and melted butter. Press into bottom of 8-inch springform pan.

3. In a large bowl, beat cream cheese, eggs, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Pour mixture over prepared crust.

4. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes (until center is set).

5. Remove from oven and spread sour cream on top of cheesecake. Return to oven and bake an additional 5 minutes.

6. Remove from oven and allow to cool. Spread desired topping on cheesecake.

7. Chill overnight. Before serving, carefully remove sides from pan. Serves 16.

Tip: To minimize cracking, place shallow pan half full of hot water on lower rack of oven during baking. And be sure the sour cream is at room temperature when you spread it on.

DEAR ABBY: I am a senior who is confused by what seems to be a new rule of etiquette that one should never, ever comment on another's appearance. Does it include complimenting someone on a new hairstyle or a new outfit, for example? Please clarify. -- CONFUSED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFUSED: In a work situation, among the subjects that should now be avoided are references to the appearance of a subordinate or a co-worker because they could be construed as sexual harassment. However, in social situations, compliments are usually welcome.

DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married in a few months, and with all of the wedding planning, I have realized that in my fiance's priorities, I come last, as do my opinions and desires.

We were supposed to go to a nice restaurant for his birthday, so I made reservations a month in advance. Yesterday (two days before his birthday) his parents decided they wanted to take him out to dinner to celebrate it. He immediately canceled our plans to go to the nice restaurant so he can have dinner with them.

I told him it seems like I always come last, and no matter what we plan, if his parents say go, he goes. He said that isn't true, but it is. Now that I realize I will never come first, I'm having doubts about marrying him.

When I told him we should hold off on getting married, he said we are not postponing the wedding, and we will get married on the date we picked. Although I express my feelings about postponing the wedding almost every day, I get nowhere. Now I feel like I'm being forced to marry someone I'm not sure I want to marry.

I'm not in a good emotional state, and I am constantly thinking of suicide. If I'm forced to marry someone I don't want to, how am I supposed to have a happy and healthy life? -- MIXED UP IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MIXED UP: Because you are having suicidal thoughts, it is imperative that you talk with a mental health professional who can guide you back on track. Please do this right away! If you and your fiance haven't had premarital counseling, insist upon it NOW. And absolutely postpone that wedding. Feeling as you do, and under these circumstances, you should not marry anyone.

DEAR ABBY: I read you every morning, and I need your advice. I am writing you from a nursing home. I am 97 years old, and I am in a wheelchair because I cannot stand, but I still make up my bed. I am an artist, and I still paint. I give the paintings I create to those who help me.

My room is small, and it will not hold a lot of stuff. I have a grandson who brings me clothes and food because I cannot eat much because of my teeth.

My problem is, when old friends come to see me, they bring beautiful gifts. They are kind, but I cannot use what they bring -- a comforter that is much too big for my bed, extra pillows or very large books that are hard to keep in my small space, although I love reading.

The nursing home is nice, and I get good care. It is kept clean, and they see I get what I need. I feel blessed.

Abby, I love my friends and don't want to hurt their feelings. This issue of gifts has become more than I know how to deal with. Can you help me know what to tell them? -- GRATEFUL IN TEXAS

DEAR GRATEFUL: Tell these lovely -- and generous -- friends that you deeply appreciate their caring and generosity, but because your room is so small, you have no place to put the items. If they haven't been in your room, show it to them so they can see for themselves.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old son has a friend who stayed with us for five months during football and basketball season because he didn't have transportation to early-morning practices. In the beginning it was one night, then it eventually became full weeks, full months and so on.

We treated him like our own, providing food, washing clothes, giving him snack money. But when I asked him to assist with basic house chores, he would laugh and find ways to not help. It would frustrate me but, not knowing him too well, I let it slide.

We have never met his parents, and neither of them reached out to express gratitude for taking care of their kid. They have three other kids, and the pattern seems to be the same -- pawn them off on other people.

Thankfully, the athletic season changed, and the boys were in different sports, so we got a break from supporting an extra person in February. My concern is, he is coming around again needing rides to school. I feel it is not my problem. This has led to some heavy discussions with my husband.

I feel the boy's parents or grandparents need to take responsibility for assuring their child makes it to practice, has extra money to purchase snacks and rides to and from school. He sees it differently. How can we let that boy fall through the cracks? Mind you, he wears name-brand clothes, glasses and shoes, yet his parents do not assist him in the most important aspects of his life.

I feel horrible because I don't think it is our job to provide for him, but I try to teach my kids empathy and responsibility. So how do I justify myself? How do I get my husband to see we can't continue to be a crutch for these people? Or am I wrong? Help! -- TRYING TO HELP IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TRYING TO HELP: Your "houseguest" may have name-brand clothes, glasses and shoes, but from your description, he is being severely neglected by his parents. That they would allow him to live with another family whom they haven't met is shocking. That they would expect you to foot the bill for all of his needs while they pretend they don't have a minor child for whom they are responsible is negligence.

If he resumes staying with you, insist that he stop acting like a guest and assume the same responsibilities you have assigned to your own children! Your husband should back you up on this. Understand that if the boy is unwilling to do that, the example being set for your children is a very poor one.

Frankly, I think child protective services should have been notified about what has been going on a long time ago.

DEAR READERS: This is National Women's Health Week, so I'm offering a "gentle reminder" to make your health a priority. Eat healthy, allow time for exercise, manage your stress levels, get the sleep you need and schedule that appointment to see your doctor or dentist that you've been postponing. Take steps to eliminate behaviors that put you at risk -- smoking, texting while driving and not wearing a seatbelt. Your most precious possession is your health, so please take care of it. For more information, visit womenshealth.gov. -- Love, ABBY