DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2021! The new year has arrived, and most of us are beyond grateful to leave the last one behind. The worldwide pandemic has sadly touched all of our lives. But this new year brings with it our hope for a new beginning.

Today presents an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will decide to be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. And I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, allow me to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may 2021 bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of us. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm an American man who was adopted as an infant. Several years ago, I found my birth parents. They are not from America. My mother came here to give birth and left. Sometime later she married my father and had more children. I'm in touch with the entire family, but mainly my birth parents.

My biological siblings are jealous of my success in life and make it plain they don't approve of much that I do. They also make sure I know I'm not really part of the family because we didn't grow up together (although we are, by blood, 100% siblings).

I deal with this the best I can, but now I'm getting flak from them because of my political views. (They saw a photo of me at a political fundraiser.) When my sister turned 40 this year, I sent her a card, a Facebook post and a text message. I turned 50 at the same time and heard not a word from her.

Although my siblings are not Americans, they feel the need to trash our country, our government and our way of life. I'm tempted to cut ties with them. There is little respect coming my way, and I think I've had enough. I value your opinion, which is why I am writing to you now.

BTW: I had an amazing set of (now deceased) parents and wonderful siblings growing up. I just wish I had a better relationship with my biological family. -- DISAPPOINTED AND EXCLUDED

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Your family is the family that raised and nurtured you. I, too, am sorry you don't have a better relationship with these jealous, judgmental people. You are related by blood -- nothing more. They do not have the right to criticize your political views or your lifestyle, any more than you have the right to criticize theirs. (And I doubt you would.) Because you are neither respected nor included, you have every right to back off and head in a different, more positive direction. Frankly, I suspect you will feel better as soon as you do.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 26-year-old male in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, who is 18. I love her to the moon and back, but I feel like she only stays with me because I can buy her things. She gets upset with me when I don't get them for her. She says I value my mother and others before her.

I love her so much, and I want to marry her. I'm a minister at a church. She thinks she should take priority before my bills and taking care of my mother, who can barely walk. What do I do? -- UNEASY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UNEASY: From what you have written, it appears you are involved with an 18-year-old self-involved gold digger who does seem to be with you only because of what you give her. She hasn't yet learned (1) That a gift should be voluntary and appreciated, rather than extorted, and (2) the way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife.

Since you asked my advice, here it is: Close your wallet and ditch this "girl."

DEAR READERS: Well, 2020, a year like no other in recent memory, has drawn to a close! I join you tonight in toasting a 2021 that will be less challenging for all of us. If you're celebrating this evening, please take measures to protect your health and the safety of others. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm someone who doesn't get noticed often by the opposite sex. So when I do receive attention, it's a very nice feeling. The problem is, I am getting that attention from a man who is married.

In the beginning, I didn't know he was married. He doesn't wear a ring, and he never mentioned a wife until one day while we were chatting, he let it slip. I don't think he meant for it to happen.

When someone is married, I back off. But for some reason, I'm not backing away from this. I'm starting to have feelings for him. I'm leaving it up to him, though. If he flirts, I'll flirt back. When he comes on strong one day, the next day he feels guilty and backs off, but then we pick up right where we left off.

I'm not trying to paint him as the bad guy; he's honestly a really good guy -- in my opinion, anyway. I know it's wrong, and he hasn't promised anything. We haven't had any physical contact other than the daily interaction. But it's messing with my emotions. I don't want to feel anything for him, but I can't help it. Help! -- DAZED & CONFUSED

DEAR DAZED & CONFUSED: You may not want to feel anything for this married man, but you do. And because you "don't get noticed much by the opposite sex," the attention you're receiving is like water on a parched flower. (Funny how they always seem to pick the vulnerable ones.)

You may not have had physical contact with him (yet), but you are playing with fire. This is no longer an "innocent" flirtation. Someone will get hurt if it continues, and that person is likely to be you. Keep in mind that "good guys" don't behave the way he does, and this wouldn't have happened if he had been honest with you about his marital status.

DEAR ABBY: When I came out as gay, my parents rejected me. It made my early 20s the most challenging period of my life. I have tried to forgive them and move on, but they refuse to acknowledge the trauma they caused.

I was upset all over again last year when they felt sorry for a young adult and let him move in with them. Mom never shuts up about how we should feel sorry for those less fortunate. They act like I have always been blessed and refuse to acknowledge any of the pain or bad things that have happened in my life.

How should I react to this? I'm on a good path now, no thanks to them, and my life has never been better. But I don't know if I can ever forgive them for being so helpful to a stranger and not their son. Am I wrong to ask where my sympathy was? -- SEEKING VALIDATION IN TEXAS

DEAR SEEKING: If you plan to hold a mirror up to your knee-jerk homophobic parents and expect honest introspection from them, I think you'll be wasting your time. It's possible that they think their compassion for the stranger makes up for the way they treated you. Whether you can forgive them for it depends solely upon you.

You are now on a constructive and rewarding path. The validation you are seeking can be found there. Your ability to forgive may come once you have distanced yourself enough that the pain they caused is less acute. I have often advised that when parents are toxic, it's important to build "families of choice," and I sincerely hope that is what you are doing and will continue to do.