DEAR NATALIE: What are your thoughts about children and cell phones? My daughter is ten and already begging me for a cell phone. She claimed that all of her friends are already getting their own phones. I didn’t believe her at first but then I started asking some of the other parents who just shrugged their shoulders like it was no big deal. I don’t think she should have one but I’m torn. I don’t want her to be left out of the group, either. What do you think? -- CELL PHONE MADNESS

DEAR CELL PHONE MADNESS: The short answer? No way would I give a ten-year-old her own cell phone. First of all, just because we beg our parents for something so we don’t feel left out doesn’t mean we should get it. There is always going to be someone who can afford, experience or be something that you cannot. I don’t think indulging your child’s every whim will help them grow into a strong, productive, empathic person. I also read from different pediatricians and psychologists online that children’s brains just aren’t developed enough to have that much stimuli at such a young age. They say that 14 is the minimum age as to when a child should have a phone, but I think it should be older than that. Either way, if you do decide to go ahead with this plan (which I am against, in case you didn’t catch that) there has to be rules in place including: When she can have it, who is allowed to be on her contact list, she cannot have any passcodes that you don’t have access to, and you have to approve all apps on the phone. Geez, just thinking about this is making me tired. Are you sure you want the headache of all of this? Once they get a phone in their hands, it will never stop. The calls, the texts, the Snapchats, the possibility of online bullying...the list goes on and on. While she may not be “cool” without one, I believe she will be safer without one, and as her parent, it is your job to protect her. You may not be the “fun” parent in this case, but who cares. Your job is to raise a healthy, kind human—not to be her best friend. (That will come after she turns 25 and realizes that you were right about pretty much everything).

DEAR NATALIE: I just started dating someone a few weeks ago. Should I be expected to get her a birthday gift? Her birthday is coming up this weekend and I would like to get her something but I don’t want to freak her out. What do you think? -- HOW SLOW SHOULD I GO

DEAR HOW SLOW SHOULD I GO: I think it is very sweet that you want to give a gift on her birthday. I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as it isn’t something too over the top. Flowers and a nice dinner might be a good compromise. Does she like amusement parks? Does she like museums? Do something fun for her birthday and treat her to a special day. Sometimes we put so much onus on what we think we should do for someone that we forget to let it unfold naturally. You seem like a thoughtful person to begin with, so just tune in the next time you are together and figure out what might make her day a little brighter. A little romance can go a long way!

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: Are you looking for a job? Networking with friends, colleagues and your social acquaintances may help to open up some doors you didn’t really notice before. Don’t be afraid to ask people to pass around your resume!

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to her email, nbencivenga@post-gazette.com; or through postal mail to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Dr., Pittsburgh, PA 15212. Follow her on Twitter at @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I have this friend and she's kinda like a Jekyll and Hyde character. When she is sober, she is seriously the nicest person and a wonderful friend. But when she drinks, it's like a light switch turns on, and she is mean, belligerent and often physically aggressive with people. The problem is, I have no idea how to tell her that I don't want to be around her when she is drinking because when she is sober she is incredibly sweet. The last straw, however, was when we were out the other night and she made some racist remarks to the cashier at the gas station when she was getting a sandwich. I was incredibly mortified. Any suggestions? -- DRUNK AND NASTY

DEAR DRUNK AND NASTY: I have this belief that people don't "change" when they become drunk, they just become more of who they really are. And I bet, if you really examine her behavior when she is sober, she probably exhibits some of these delightful traits - just on a lesser level to the point where you may not have even noticed them. Well, bet you will notice them now. You have two options. One, stop getting drunk with her. Since she can't handle herself around booze, do things together outside of that sphere, like grabbing coffee or taking a yoga class or just going shopping together. Option two: Gently confront her about her behavior the next time she suggests going out to the bar. Say something like: "I don't know if that is a good idea. The last time we went out, I was honestly embarrassed at what you said to so-and-so." If she gives you a blank look, she probably blacked out and doesn't remember. Then, you can launch into a, "maybe we should do other things besides party together since you can't remember it anyway" speech. If she starts to get defensive, ask yourself why you are hanging around her in the first place. In fact, this is all more about you and the company you keep than about her and her inability to drink responsibility. She is who she is. You see it. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it?

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)

DEAR NATALIE: I think I made a big mistake. I was dating this amazing man, and I have a tendency to push people away. I don't know why I do this (working on it with my therapist who chalks it up to my incredibly tough parents that wanted perfection at all times), but I really screwed up. I basically told him I hated him, and I dumped him on his birthday. He was so good to my daughter (she's 7) and he was an excellent provider, but I was bored and having a bad day and just dumped him. Now, he's refusing to return my calls or texts, and I think he blocked me on Instagram. How do I get him back? I want him back! It's been a week since I did this, and I'm afraid I lost him for good. Any thoughts? -- SHIPWRECKED ROMANCE

DEAR SHIPWRECKED ROMANCE: You were bored? You dumped a guy because you were bored? And now you are bored so you want him back? Sounds like you need to break up with drama instead of men. I have met a lot of people who do not like it when the boat isn't crashing into the shore. They need the adrenaline rush. They need the fear, the excitement, the constant stress of possibly drowning. When there are calm waters at sea, they jump ship for no reason. Sound familiar? Instead of trying to get back with him, why not take a look in the mirror and figure out what it is you really want from a relationship. Do you want stability? Security? A father for your daughter? None of those things is exciting. They are important, necessary in fact, but exciting? Not so much. Until you are ready to make peace with the fact that love is many things, including quiet, pensive, thoughtful and not always dramatic, I have a feeling you will be capsizing your love boat over and over again. 

Natalie's Networking Tip of the Week: The best way to connect with people? Listen more, talk less. Let them tell you what their interests are, their goals, their dreams. The more comfortable they feel with you, the more likely they will offer you opportunities if they can.

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)