DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Right before we got married, I went through all my stuff and got rid of everything from my old boyfriends that I had kept from when we were together. I hadn’t kept much of anything, but I felt like it was the right thing to do as part of my commitment to my husband.

When we were unpacking the boxes at our new house, I found that my husband had kept some printed out emails and cards and photos of his old girlfriend, even though they were broken up long before he and I got together. He never talks about her or anything like that, but don’t you think it is strange that he would keep these things from her? I find it a little insulting to me and our relationship. --- WHY KEEP THE STUFF?

DEAR WHY KEEP THE STUFF?: I doubt there’s any reason to take your husband’s holding onto some mementos from his past personally or as some kind of statement of his reluctance to be fully committed to you and your marriage.

Often we keep things not only to remind ourselves of people from our earlier days, but to preserve a bit of those bygone times themselves and who we were when we were living through them.

In your husband’s case, it’s possible that it isn’t just an old flame he’s preserving the memory of, but other reminders of an era that she happened to have been a part of.

Some people also tend to be more sentimental than others. Since you were readily able to rid yourself of souvenirs of your past relationships, you seem to be among the less sentimental. Your husband shows signs of being the kind of person who enjoys holding onto pieces of his past. That doesn’t mean he isn’t more than ready, willing, and able to move forward.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: We’ve lived in our town for seven years, and in all that time, whenever we pass a man who lives near the end of our street, the best we get is a glaring stare from him. I continue to at least make an attempt at being pleasant, but it is as if this man looks right through me.

I was raised in a small town like the one we now live in, and I never encountered anyone like this man. It kind of sours my walks when he is out and about and does his ignoring me thing.

Is it worth the effort to try and make some kind of at least cordial connection with him? --- WORTH THE EFFORT?

DEAR WORTH THE EFFORT?: While it doesn’t seem likely that you’ll make much progress if you haven’t made any in seven years, I think it comes down to doing what you feel you need to do. Personally, I’d continue to acknowledge the neighbor, but just not generally expect to get anything in return.

I try to remind myself in such cases that you never fully know what’s going on in someone’s mind or life; and your neighbor, like the rest of us, is looking at and living in the world guided by his own unique perspective.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I work for a company that provides before and after school care, tutoring, and full day coverage on days when the schools are closed. I love the work and the kids, and because I have a BS in education, I make almost $27 an hour for the before and after tutoring and just under $17 an hour for straight childcare coverage on non-school days. But the job doesn’t have any benefits. Fortunately, I have health insurance through my parents for now, but I don’t get any paid vacation or sick time, and this is a job where the kids are guaranteed to get you sick at least two or three times in the year. Also, the time off I do get is based on the company’s scheduled annual closings, which doesn’t coincide with when I need to take time off.

I realize I’m in a much better place than many people, just by looking at how most of my friends, also a year out of school are doing. There are six of us on staff, and we want to approach our boss, who works for the parent corporation, about offering benefits. All of us love the job, but need to know we can have some PTO, like a lot of other childcare companies offer, and maybe even affordable medical insurance. We found out the only other company in the area offering the same services, other than regular daycares, offers PTO, but they pay a lot less per hour.

Would we be messing up a good thing pushing our boss for what seems to us like basic benefits? If it backfires, we could all be looking for new jobs, and I doubt we would find jobs that pay as well. --- NERVOUS TO ASK

DEAR NERVOUS TO ASK: When you and your coworkers agreed to take jobs with the company, you knew how your time off would be structured and that you wouldn’t be paid for the days you don’t work. Those were terms you accepted when you were hired. And, based on the experiences of people I know in various aspects of childcare, PTO and medical insurance aren’t provided by all employers.

Before approaching your boss about the possibility of adding benefits, I recommend you and your fellow staff members do more research into how a few other, similar companies compensate their staff.

As you’ve already seen from your company’s competitor in town, there can be tradeoffs, such as lower base pay, but paid time off, which may work better for some people. Also bear in mind the perks you already have, such as what you consider generous hourly rates.

If you do decide to speak with your boss after you’ve investigated other companies’ practices, I think the wisest strategy might be to present it as a general inquiry about potential future updates in corporate policy, rather than making it sound as if you’re demanding changes or offering ultimatums. You may not get an answer you like, but the right approach is more likely to at least yield a response that’ll help you decide how each of you feels about staying long-term with your current employer.