DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My granddaughter and her boyfriend have been riding a rollercoaster of a relationship since they were in their late teens. So, for the better part of ten years, including right now, I honestly can’t tell you if they are in an on or an off phase.

This is, of course, their business, but what happens is since we live very near each other, it is virtually impossible not to run into her parents, who I have also known all their lives, and I never know if their daughter and my grandson are even speaking to one another or not.

Do you think it would be rude if I simply avoid any mention of their daughter when I run into her parents or any other of her relatives? I worry it would come off as being rude not to ask about everyone, like you normally would when you meet up with someone you know, but I always feel like I’m treading on thin ice in this case. --- DO I ASK?

DEAR DO I ASK: If your grandson and his sometimes girlfriend have as changeable a status as you say, I suppose it’s possible you’re not alone in being unable to keep up with where the relationship is on any given day.

When you see her folks, I’d keep the conversation as general as possible. You can inquire about how the family members you’ve encountered are doing and go no further.

And if all else fails, there’s the old golden rule of safe, polite conversation ‒ stick to the weather.

These days that’s an interesting enough topic.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: One of my sisters was supersensitive to criticism when she was a teenager, and my mother used to say she was that way because she lacked confidence.

That is what I think is the problem with my roommate. She is smart and funny, but if she thinks someone is being critical of her in any way whatsoever, she shuts down and goes very dark, sometimes for days.

I try to build up her self-confidence, like I and my family did for my sister, but I feel that discussing what happened only triggers an even deeper reaction. Once she gets into these moods, I feel like I can’t say anything to her because she’ll take it wrong and just get worse.

I reached out to my sister to see what helped her overcome her supersensitivity, and she said our family and her friends just being there for her and reminding her of all she has going for her was a big help.

That makes me think this is one of those things people can grow out of, like my sister did.

Should I even bother bringing up the situations that upset my roommate, or should I just let them go and hope she finds her way to self-confidence? --- NOT SURE HOW TO HELP

DEAR NOT SURE HOW TO HELP: It isn’t easy for someone else to give another person self-confidence. You’ve already witnessed the results of revisiting situations that trigger your roommate’s emotional shutdowns, so that tactic isn’t likely to help.

The kind of support and understanding family and friends were able to provide for your sister is certainly a step in the right direction.

Perhaps your roommate could also be convinced to be more proactive in boosting her belief in herself. Finding volunteer opportunities or activities for people with similar interests might be one avenue towards feeling like she has more going for her than she gives herself credit for.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: As soon as I graduate next spring with my bachelor’s degree, I intend to enter the convent of the religious order that taught at my high school. I had wanted to enter at the end of my senior year there, but my parents insisted I go to a four-year-co-ed college at least 100 miles from home, so I would have to live there so I would have “the full college experience”.

I have not liked having to wait, but since my vocation came to me when I was 15, I have known what I must and will do and I do not resent my parents’ asking this delay of me.

I know my parents continue to hope I will meet some nice guy and fall in love with him and decide I do not want to enter religious life. But I dated a couple of those nice guys, and there were zero sparks. All this entire experience did was to confirm my devotion to my chosen life.

It is obvious this all greatly bugs my parents, and I hate that part of it, but I have a calling, and that ultimately cannot be pushed aside or denied. Life outside the order would be miserable for me.

I know my parents are praying this will be the year I change my mind, but I will not. I know that.

What more can I do to convince my parents I am doing what is best for me and what will make me happy? --- HAVE MY CALLING

DEAR HAVE MY CALLING: The path you’re committed to taking isn’t an easy nor a very common one, and I can certainly appreciate your parents’ wanting you to be sure before you moved fully into it.

That said, you and they struck a bargain that entailed you going to college to see what else is out there. I think that was a smart thing to do and it sounds like you were open to the experiences that come with the territory.

Your strongest argument now may be to remind them of your willingness and follow-through on taking a few years to explore a more conventional life. So far it obviously hasn’t changed your mind.

If that remains the case, as you’re certain it will, then hopefully your parents will accept the fact that you tried things their way and come next spring, it’s your turn to pursue your own convictions and passions.