DEAR READERS: Today is Father's Day. What? So soon again? Is it just my imagination, or are all the holidays getting closer together? Well, Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there.

This year, let's pay special tribute to those men who were "just like a father" to a family whose "real" father died, disappeared, or was just not around for one of a thousand reasons.

A garland of orchids to stepfathers -- you men who married women with "ready-made" families, and managed to overcome all the obstacles that only men in that situation can know. (How often did you hear, "You're not my REAL father -- you can't tell me what to do"?)

A diamond in the crown of the father who, for one reason or another, had to be both father and mother to his children. (He not only brought home the bacon -- he cooked it.)

So, a resounding Happy Father's Day! Enjoy your day, Dad. And be sure to wear your necktie immediately so the wife and kids won't ask (around Christmastime), "Say, Dad, how come you never wear that tie we gave you for Father's Day? We paid a fortune for it."

DEAR ABBY: Twenty-seven years ago, when I was 15, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I gave him up for adoption for reasons known to many who had the same experience in the '60s. I gave him up out of love, and wanted him to have a better life than I could have given him at the time.

Two weeks ago, I received a telephone call from an intermediary who said my son was looking for me! After I recovered from the initial shock, I called the number I was given. Abby, I was so choked up I could hardly speak, but my son put me at ease immediately by saying he felt no ill will toward me for having given him up. Then he thanked me for having chosen to give him life instead of having an abortion. He assured me that the parents who raised him were the best, and if I ever had any doubts about whether I did the right thing in giving him up, I should set my mind at ease.

The point of this letter is to thank my son's adoptive parents for having raised such a fine, compassionate young man. The credit belongs to them entirely. I also want to thank them for assuring my son that I did indeed love him, and that giving him up was the best way to prove my love for him.

Abby, I am getting married soon --- for the first time. And when I told my son, he said, "You gave me away out of love, now I would like to return the favor and give 'the bride' away -- then we will be even."

No signature or city, please. I want every adoptive mother to know that this is meant for her, with love and gratitude for her unselfishness. -- A RICHLY REWARDED BIRTHMOTHER

DEAR ABBY: May I share the message I read recently in a cartoon? It shows a teen-age boy and his grandfather. The boy says, "Gee, Grandad, your generation didn't have all these problems with sexually transmitted diseases. What did you wear to prevent them?"

Grandpa replied, "A wedding ring." -- JOHN M. KELLEY, DMin, SWEETWATER PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, HICKORY, N.C.

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Would you please do all the parents of small children (babies especially) a big favor and tell the manufacturers of infant and toddler clothing to stop labeling the clothes by age (3 to 6 months, 18 months, etc.)? Nothing could be more irrelevant.

Our 4-month-old son is in the 95th percentile for length and weight for his age group. His clothes labels read 12 and 18 months. His pediatrician says he is in all respects normal -- just big (every bit of 21 pounds).

If clothes were labeled by weight and/or length, making an appropriate purchase without trying to wriggle an overtired infant into the outfit first might be possible. As it is, I have drawers full of sweatsuits given to my baby by well-meaning friends who thought they'd be just right for next winter since the label reads "12 months." Most of these clothes fit him now.

We live in Florida and the thermometer hit 90 degrees yesterday. What a shame. Had the clothes been labeled according to weight, since he was 9 1/2 pounds at birth, most people could have guessed he'd be at least three or four times that size a year later. I imagine parents of "preemies" have similar problems -- PAT IN ST. PETE

DEAR PAT: Your suggestion makes sense. Let's hope the folks who manufacture infant and toddler clothing take note.

DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter "Susie" and her husband, who live out of state and rarely communicate with us, came to visit us last year. Their visit was complicated by the fact that they invited another couple (whom we had never met) and their two children to join them. We made special sleeping accommodations and fed all six of them for several days.

I was ignored, talked down to and insulted by both Susie and her friend "Betsy" during the entire visit. Neither woman offered to help with the meals or dishes -- they just sat while I waited on them. When it was time for them to leave, neither Susie nor Betsy said goodbye or thank you. They simply disappeared into their van while I stood there with tears in my eyes and egg on my face!

Now, Susie is making plans to use our home as a stop-over for several days next year -- and she's bringing Betsy and family along. I told my husband that I could tolerate Susie and her husband if I had to, but I would not have Betsy and her family as houseguests again.

Abby, am I justified in my decision, and how should this be handled without offending my husband's family? -- FRUSTRATED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are indeed "justified" in your decision, and if any of your husband's family are offended, they need only be told that you do not wish to accommodate guests who come uninvited and leave without so much as a goodbye or thank-you.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My son got into serious trouble and is in jail right now. He is 19 and began getting into trouble with the law three years ago. He's close to his grandparents, who live out of state, and when he first got into trouble at age 16, I kept them in the dark about it as long as I could. They eventually found out, and I know they worried a lot.

My son stayed out of trouble for more than a year. He went to counseling for alcohol abuse and other problems. I realized he still had problems. But three days ago, he and a friend of his broke into someone's garage to steal and were caught. My heart broke once again. My son is now in county jail. I visited him there and managed to hold back my tears in front of him, but I cried all the way home.

Here's my problem: Should I tell my parents, who are 1,000 miles away, and cause them all this grief? My mother telephones every weekend to "check in." I didn't have the heart to tell her this Sunday. Do you think she has the right to know? She always asks about her grandsons and is especially close to this one. I just don't want her to worry. -- BROKENHEARTED MOTHER

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: Since your mother always asks, and feels especially close to this grandchild, I think you should tell her the truth now. Eventually she will have to be told, unless you intend to deceive your parents about the boy's whereabouts until he's served his time. If so, your chances for pulling it off are slim.

DEAR ABBY: Please discuss fathers tickling their young children. They seem to get some sadistic pleasure out of expressing their love (?) by tickling the little girls and boys until they scream with laughter, then pain -- then end up in tears!

This needs discussion, Abby. I think it's sadistic! Do you? -- MRS. B. IN JOPLIN, MO.

DEAR MRS. B: Yes. Children who "end up in tears" are experiencing pain -- not pleasure -- and no father should be permitted to play such games. Excessive tickling is said to stimulate children inappropriately. To subject a child to this kind of "play" is child abuse. It's the business of adults to protect children from ANY kind of child abuse -- and while it may appear innocent and "all in fun," it should not be tolerated.

DEAR ABBY: The woman who was upset because her husband's friend held his fork incorrectly just about sent me through the roof. I wish all I had to worry about was how my friends held their dinner forks.

I'd like to tell that woman that if more people would hold their forks in their fists like a 3-year-old child, but were smart, college-educated, well-mannered and had great personalities, our country would be much better off.

I suppose a man could be a rapist, murderer or drug dealer, but as long as he held his dinner fork properly, he'd be OK? That woman should come down from her pedestal and start dealing with issues like world peace, abused children, caring for the elderly, and feeding the homeless -- who would be happy just to eat, let alone hold a fork properly! -- S.B., ROSEBURG, ORE.

Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)