DEAR ABBY: I am a 31-year-old married (with children) woman. I have an embarrassing secret.

When I was 20, I was arrested on a felony charge -- transportation of pot into a prison. The charge was dropped to a misdemeanor, and I was given a one-year probation since I had never been in trouble before as an adult. I haven't been in any trouble since then.

I have noticed that on job applications certain questions are asked about "any arrests." I don't want to lie on a job application and risk being caught and later being fired -- or even being sent to jail because of lying on the application. So, my question is this: Since my arrest was so long ago, is there a way for me to have it sealed so that I can put that part of my life behind me and not worry about it following me for the rest of my life?

Please don't print my name or address. -- GOING STRAIGHT

DEAR GOING STRAIGHT: In some states, if the offender was under 21 years of age when the crime was committed and has subsequently proved to be of good character, the record can be expunged (destroyed). Consult a lawyer. It may cost a few hundred dollars, but the peace of mind would be well worth the price.

DEAR ABBY: In a recent letter from "Heartbroken in Lakewood, N.J.," the writer was distressed over the death of her pet from ingesting antifreeze left on the driveway, and cautioned your readers to hose down their driveways so that their pets are not poisoned.

Abby, unintentional acts of pollution are not only dangerous to residents and their pets, but have similar impacts on the fish and wildlife who are on the receiving end of our storm (drain) water. Most liquid substances washed into storm drains get dumped, untreated, into our rivers and lakes -- where one pint of oil will produce a one-acre oil slick.

The Congress and states are attempting to clean up storm drainage as part of the Clean Water Act. Disposing of oil, antifreeze, paint or paint thinner, household cleansers and other substances by dumping them into gutters and storm drains not only damages the environment but is also a crime.

So, Abby, urge your readers to call their local public works department and find out where to dump used oil and how to properly dispose of other toxic liquids. Remember, for most of us, the water you wash away could be someone else's water supply! Please don't put anything down a gutter or storm drain that you wouldn't want to drink or swim in. -- BERT McCOLLAM, DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC WORKS, SACRAMENTO, CALIF.

DEAR MR. McCOLLAM: Consider it done! Read on:

DEAR ABBY: In reference to Fluffy, the sweet little dog who lapped up the antifreeze her owner left in the driveway, it isn't clear whether the Sunday mechanic collected most of the antifreeze and spilled a little, or just drained it on the driveway.

Abby, if the antifreeze killed Fluffy, just imagine what it would do to the environment if it were hosed off the driveway and into the ecosystem.

Please, tell your readers that ALL antifreeze (as well as oils) should be collected and disposed of properly. Shops that change oil must, by law, accept used oil. -- J.H.K., HEMPSTEAD, N.Y.

"How to Be Popular" is an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my sister gave me a large plastic PLEASE CALL POLICE banner, which I kept in the glove compartment of my car. She said it could be a lifesaver if I ever had car trouble on the road, because I could get help without putting myself in danger by having to leave my car to seek assistance.

I took my car in for service a couple of weeks ago and had my banner folded in the glove compartment. When I went to pick up my car, the banner was gone.

When I asked my sister where she got hers, she said she had sent for it after reading a letter in your column from a woman whose car had broken down on a highway as she was rushing to the side of her critically ill child. She had placed her PLEASE CALL POLICE banner over her windshield, and it took only minutes for a state trooper to come to her aid.

I would like to replace that banner. Please tell me where I can get one. I am single and commute 300 miles every weekend. -- CHARLOTTE B., LAS VEGAS, NEV.

DEAR CHARLOTTE: Write to WCIL-BANNERS, P.O. Box 66955, Los Angeles, Calif. 90066. You will receive one PLEASE CALL POLICE banner as a premium for a $5 contribution to WCIL, and another banner with each additional $4 contribution. (Many people want two, one for the windshield and one for the rear window.)

Make your check or money order (U.S. funds only, please) payable to WCIL-BANNERS. Allow eight weeks for delivery. The Westside Center for Independent Living is a not-for-profit organization that helps disabled people live independently.

DEAR ABBY: Please help! My 17-year-old son, who just graduated from high school, has been invited to accompany his girlfriend's family on a month-long vacation across the country. As the girl's parents did not consult me before inviting him, I am now in the position of being the mean mom if I refuse to let him go.

As a registered nurse in the obstetrical unit that provides services for about 100 unwed teen-age girls a week, I am very much aware of the dangers of allowing teen-agers to spend large amounts of time together unsupervised. His parents will be there, but I'm very uncomfortable about the closeness this kind of vacation will provide. Secondly, we have a 15-year-old daughter, and I can't afford to set this kind of precedent for a similar situation involving her.

And finally, our son has a summer job to pay for his clothes and books for college this fall, and a month's absence would significantly decrease his contribution to college financing.

Needless to say, our once-quiet household is being torn apart by this situation. Please rush your reply. -- CONCERNED MOM

DEAR CONCERNED: Remind your son that he agreed to work this summer to help with his college expenses, so he can forget about accompanying his girlfriend on her family's vacation trip. And don't be apologetic when you tell him. His girlfriend's parents should have consulted you before inviting him. At 17, he is still a minor.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: You recently published a letter from a reader complaining about tacky wedding invitations. Let me add my 2 cents' worth with a story that will top that one.

As you can see from the enclosed memo (which was stuffed into the same envelope as the wedding invitation AND the bridal shower invitation), this couple, "Carole and Rick," had the gall to allow their travel agent to solicit contributions for their Hawaiian honeymoon.

This couple is known around town to be tightfisted with a buck, but this kind of solution is a new "low." Obviously, either the travel agent or the sponsor of the bridal shower felt awkward sending the memo out, as someone typed in, "Requested by: Rick."

By the way, Abby, I was going to cross out the names in the original memo, but I didn't want you to think this was a hoax, so if you publish this, please change the names. -- AMAZED IN DELAWARE

DEAR AMAZED, AND DEAR READERS: Well, now I've seen everything. Read on:

"TO: The Family and Friends of Carole and Rick

"FROM: Chutzpah Travel Agency

"RE: Hawaiian Honeymoon

"We are pleased to advise you that we will be handling the travel arrangements for Carole and Rick's honeymoon. Our agency has set aside a separate account for payment, so Carole and Rick's friends and relatives may share in giving this terrific couple a memorable honeymoon. We would appreciate it if your gift would be a check made out to Chutzpah Travel Agency, for Carole and Rick. Please add your telephone number, so that we can call to thank you, upon receipt of your check. -- MAX SMITH, TRAVEL AGENT"

P.S. And "aloha" to etiquette.

DEAR ABBY: I came across this very unusual obituary in The Seattle Times. I did not know the person, but I thought it might be something you would want to share with your readers:

"Rowena L. (Brown) Edelbrock passed away on June 12, 1991. She left us with these thoughts:

"'When I quit this mortal shore

"'And mosey 'round this earth no more

"'Don't weep, don't sigh, don't grieve, don't sob;

"'I may have struck a better job.

"'Don't go and buy a large bouquet

"'For which you'll find it hard to pay.

"'Don't stand around me looking blue;

"'I may be better off than you!"'

Abby, I think this poem is a winner, don't you? -- LORNA SCHOFIELD, MOUNTLAKE TERRACE, WASH.

DEAR LORNA: It is, indeed, a winner. It is inevitable that one day we shall all "quit this mortal shore," and to do so as lightheartedly as Rowena did makes the journey less grim.

DEAR ABBY: In regard to your recent letter from the bride who found that their honeymoon suite contained no bed, I heard of another bride who had the same experience. When asked what her reaction was, she replied, "I was floored!" -- JACK RUNNINGER, ROME, GA.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)