DEAR ABBY: Recently I've noticed how much I have been lying to people about little things, when the lie does not in any way benefit me.

For instance, if I am asked what I've been doing, I will lie, even though the answer is no more glamorous than the truth. Yesterday, I told someone I had to stop and get gas before going home, even though I knew I was going straight home.

I once heard someone who had been abused as a child say that she started lying about everything in order to feel that she was in control of the situation. Abby, I have never been abused, and I don't know why I lie so much. It's really been bad the last year, but the lie is always out of my mouth before I realize it.

I'm sure the people I lie to know that I am lying, so why do I feel so powerless to stop? Could this have anything to do with the fact that I am in an unhappy relationship and want out? -- CHRONIC LIAR

DEAR CHRONIC LIAR: Your last sentence could be a clue. You are not happy with things the way they are, so even though that which you lie about is of no consequence, at least it's not reality, which you dislike.

A psychotherapist could help you get to the root of this. If you are not already acquainted with one, ask your physician for a referral -- or contact your county mental health department.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 22-year-old college student with plans to graduate in December. I have been dating the same guy for almost five years. He is out of college now and has a steady job.

My problem is that I want to get married. I would even settle for an engagement ring or some sort of promise of marriage after I graduate from college. My boyfriend is 27 years old and keeps saying we'll get married someday (when I bring it up); otherwise, he never mentions it. He says it would be fine if we just lived together because we need to be "soul mates" first.

I used to believe that living together was a good idea, but I don't think so anymore. I truly love this man and want to be his wife.

Please help me, Abby. Am I wasting my time? He says he feels like I'm pressuring him. What should I do? -- RUNNING IN PLACE

DEAR RUNNING: When a man tells you that he feels like you're pressuring him -- trust me, you are pressuring him. Back off. Then tell him you think it might be a good idea if you two cooled it for a while, and maybe if you dated other people you could get a better perspective on your relationship. If he agrees, that's what you should do. If not, say nothing more about marriage until after graduation.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to reply to "Real Adoptive Parents" who need an answer to the question, "Are your children REAL brother and sister?"

As the mother of two adopted Korean children, I am asked that question frequently, and my stock reply is: "They are now!" -- A "REAL" MOM

People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am totally disgusted with magazines these days. I've been keeping a running tally and I refuse to renew subscriptions to magazines that are one-half to three-quarters ADS!

I read my magazines from cover to cover, except for the ads. (My radio, newspaper and television give me all the advertising I can stomach.) Abby, I remember when magazines contained interesting book-length novels that were serialized month to month -- also some wonderful "special offers." Can't you urge the publishers of magazines to bring them back? I realize that ads bring in big bucks, but so do subscription checks! Aren't publishers interested in making their readers happy?

The full-page ads and parts thereof added up to:

May 1991 Ladies' Home Journal, 111 3/4 pages of ads; June 1991 Home, 47 out of 116 (I will renew); June 1991 McCall's, 74 1/2 out of 142; May 1991 Redbook, 92 out of 170; June 1991 Redbook, 52 out of 130; May 1991 1001 Home Ideas, 46 1/2 out of 96; June 1991 Victoria, 34 2/3 out of 126 (I will renew); September 1990 Reader's Digest, 75 out of 237 (I will renew).

Abby, can you add voices to people like me who are calling for a change to these policies? -- BEVERLY GARBER, HARRISONBURG, VA.

DEAR BEVERLY: Now that you've made me "ad" conscious, I counted the number of advertisements in Lear's -- 30 out of 100 pages were ads. (I will renew.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who is an intelligent, single woman in her late 20s. She dresses well and is proud of her slim figure. We frequently have dinner and see a movie together. She loves pepperoni pizza, so very often we go to a pizza parlor, where she orders two large pizzas, one after the other! Then she goes to the restroom and -- you know the rest. (She forces herself to throw up.)

I know this can lead to serious health problems. Do I have the right to tell her she should stop doing this before it ruins her health? -- SORRY FOR HER

DEAR SORRY: Yes. Compare it with the "right" to warn a person who is stalled on the railroad tracks that a train is coming.

Your friend appears to suffer from "bulimia" -- a compulsion to overeat.

She should see a doctor who will refer her to a professional who specializes in eating disorders and behavior modification.

DEAR ABBY: Please do a kindness to animals and publish this for all your readers to see:

Always make sure that your discarded glass containers are clean or covered with a lid.

All empty tin or aluminum cans should be crushed because a hungry little animal looking for food could push its head inside the container and be unable to get it out.

What a horrible way to die! -- E.J. IN NAPLES, FLA.

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I served in the U.S. Navy from February '87 until February '91. I served the better part of that time overseas in the Philippines working as a postal clerk at the Fleet Mail Center, Subic Bay.

I still wear my dog tags all the time, and sometimes people will see them and ask, "Were you over there?" (meaning Saudi Arabia), and I say, "No, I was in the Philippines most of the time." Then they say, "Oh," like "No big deal."

I can speak for most of the people I worked with that it was no picnic. Several coup attempts took place while I was there. (A Marine sergeant was killed about three blocks from my house.)

Abby, I would like people to know that even though we weren't "over there," we did our part during the Gulf crisis. -- SAILOR TAYLOR

DEAR SAILOR: You make an excellent point. Every man and woman who served in any branch of the armed forces -- whether or not they were in a shooting war -- did their part.

Time away from one's family is no picnic, whether one is serving in "the Gulf" or Gulfport, Miss.

DEAR ABBY: This concerns "Illinois Victim," who was being beaten by a man in her yard, and the neighbor who didn't even call the police. His comment ("I didn't want to get involved") interested me.

Some time ago, I saw a driver who appeared to be drunk cause a serious accident. I immediately called the police to tell them I had seen an accident; no one even wanted to take my name or telephone number. After 10 calls, one hour later, someone grudgingly took my name and phone number, saying, "Someone will call you."

Nobody called until six months later, when I got a subpoena through the mail demanding that I appear in court. In large letters was this threat: "IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR IN COURT A WARRANT WILL BE ISSUED FOR YOUR ARREST."

Abby, in the school where I teach, if a teacher takes a day off, the teacher must pay the substitute. I got a substitute for the day of the trial, only to be called that morning at 8:30 a.m. and told that the case had been postponed! It was too late to cancel the substitute, so I lost that day's pay.

Yesterday, I got a notice for the next court date, which means I will have to hire another substitute. Now do you wonder why no one wants to "get involved"? I am being treated more like a criminal than a witness! After six months, I hardly remember what happened, and because I wanted to be a good citizen, I am now being penalized. Please comment. -- SUN CITY, ARIZ.

DEAR SUN CITY: As an eyewitness, your testimony could be crucial in this case, so please don't abandon your responsibility as a good citizen.

And by the way, whatever happened to one's constitutional right to a speedy trial? "Justice delayed is justice denied," said William Gladstone, who was prime minister of England in the late 1800s.

But, of course, our courts were not as clogged in the late 1800s as they are today.

What teen-agers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)