DEAR ABBY: This is regarding the letter from "Mother of Girls" who was indignant because she had heard they were coming out with topless bathing suits for women. Evidently, Mother is ignorant of the world beyond the United States.

Topless attire for women has been commonplace in France, Italy, Greece (the cradle of Western civilization), the Turkish Coast, Israel (the cradle of Judaism and Christianity), Germany (the cradle of the Reformation), the Scandinavian countries, Great Britain, Portugal, Spain, Malta, the Netherlands, the Canary Islands, the Caribbean Islands, Australia, New Zealand, and every island in the Pacific Ocean save the Hawaiian Islands.

In fact, the only remaining "bastion of the bikini top" in the Western world is the United States. So before anybody starts tying women's beach attire to the collapse of Western civilization, it would be a good idea to take a good look around. -- ENLIGHTENED

DEAR ENLIGHTENED: Thanks for the enlightenment. My mail has been top-heavy with comment about that letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter from the "Mother of Girls" about topless bathing suits for women:

I wonder if she finds overweight men in swim trunks obscene? Personally, I'd prefer seeing a woman in a topless bathing suit than a beer-gutted slob parading around on the beach!

Last week I noticed a man of this description sunning himself. His stomach was so big he had to stand up before I could tell he was wearing trunks! Wouldn't you call that "indecent exposure"?

All human beings have breasts -- men and women. Some just happen to be bigger than others. The "low" in our civilization is not the amount of clothing people choose to wear; it is the person who believes that nudity is nasty. In a world where horrible crimes against humanity are committed every day, I have a hard time believing that women's bare breasts will bomb us back to the Stone Age. So, "Mother of Girls," what do I think is "left to save"? Perhaps our skins! -- RACHEL EMILIE MILLER, SISTER OF WOMEN

DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter you published about the 17-year-old boy who was having trouble finding a job: You suggested that he go back to some of the places where he had applied for work and was turned down -- and offer to work for one week with no obligation on their part.

Many years ago, I was having a very difficult time finding work. My father put an ad in the local newspaper saying, "My son will work for free for one week to prove that he is hardworking and honest." (Something to that effect.)

The telephone rang off the wall immediately! I was hired by the Tri-State Truck Sales Co. and worked for them for seven years.

Your idea is certainly worth trying. -- DAVID IN STRATFORD, N.J.

DEAR DAVID: Thanks. Now that idea is in the public domain. Readers, help yourselves.

People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Hooray for Cora Laird of Iowa who complained about how difficult it is to hear the dialogue over the noisy background sounds that many television shows feel are necessary. To her list, may I add: waterfalls, street traffic, but mostly -- background music. (In some cases I have concluded the dialogue is secondary to the music, since there is no way I can hear what is being said!) I also wear a hearing aid.

Your suggestion to write to the various sponsors was a bit impractical, since in a two-hour show there are approximately seven breaks with eight or nine commercials, plus TV ads in each one. Besides, the commercials are not the main problem -- I just hit the mute button; it's trying to hear the show itself.

The only way to reach the "powers that be" is through your column. A letter would not carry the clout your column does. If they would put filters in their ears, they might find out how truly irritating these background sounds are.

Have others written to substantiate this ongoing problem? -- HAD IT WITH BACKGROUND IN THOUSAND PALMS, CALIF.

DEAR HAD IT: I have received hundreds of letters with the same complaint -- however, one contained the following good news. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: There are about 20 million people in the United States with some degree of hearing loss -- also millions of recent immigrants still struggling to learn English. In addition, there are millions of adults who are learning disabled, or simply never learned to read.

What do they all have in common? They can all benefit from closed-captioned television. The problem: Very few of them realize they can be helped by closed-captions, let alone own the caption decoder needed to decode the otherwise invisible subtitle-like captions that are broadcast with many television shows, and recorded with many home rental video movies. (Contrary to popular belief, closed-captions are not just for deaf and hard-of-hearing people.)

The good news: Many people who become deaf early in life own a caption decoder. The National Captioning Institute claims that half the caption decoders sold were sold to Hispanic and Asian Americans who find it easier to understand new idioms and strange English expressions when they can read and hear the words at the same time.

The bad news: People who lose their hearing late in life either don't know about closed-captions, or consider "dependency" on captions as a sign of aging.

More good news: Starting July 1, 1993, ALL television sets 13 inches or larger made or sold in the United States will have a closed-caption decoder built inside!

Abby, please educate your readers and encourage them to turn on the decoder at all times if they have children at home who are reading at or below fourth-grade level. That little decoder chip inside the television set may help put a permanent dent in the illiteracy rates of this country. -- ANDREA SHETTLE, GALLAUDET COLLEGE, WASHINGTON, D.C.

DEAR ANDREA: Thank you for your informative letter. I am sure many will be very interested in the information you have to share.

AND DEAR READERS: Anyone interested in learning more about closed-caption technology may contact: National Captioning Institute Inc., 5203 Leesburg Pike, 15th Floor, Falls Church, Va. 22041. NCI has two toll-free numbers: (800) 533-9673 for hearing people, and (800) 321-8337 for deaf and speech-impaired people.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: It's autumn again -- and Halloween will soon be here. That means it's time to remind readers with small children that:

-- Somebody's child will be seriously injured or killed in a Halloween-related traffic accident.

-- Somebody's child will be badly maimed or fatally burned due to a flammable costume.

-- Somebody's child will be coaxed into an automobile or lured into a secluded area and sexually assaulted.

To make sure that that child isn't yours, I offer these tips to preserve the safety of your children:

-- Use flameproof costumes only. If costumes are made at home, treat the fabric with a flame-resistant solution.

-- Because masks, floppy hats, wigs and veils often interfere with a child's vision, use makeup instead.

-- Accessories such as swords, broomsticks, hatchets, wands, etc., should be made of cardboard rather than plastic, metal or wood. Sharp items are dangerous!

-- Provide youngsters with flashlights to prevent falls on sidewalks or porch steps. (Positively no lighted candles should be carried!)

-- Decorate your child's costume and trick-or-treat bag with reflective tape to make them highly visible to motorists.

-- Remind children that they should never enter the home of a stranger or accept rides.

-- Adults can help by keeping their yards well-lighted.

-- Parents should check all "treats" before allowing children to eat them.

-- Very young children should never be out after dark unless accompanied by an adult.

So, let's make it a safe Halloween for all children, and come Thanksgiving, we will have more to be thankful for.

DEAR ABBY: Like many others, I can't say I've read your column for years because I'm only 11 years old. But I have read it a great many times.

I have a very bad habit. I suck my thumb and bite my nails. In fact, I've bitten one of my nails so low it started to bleed without my knowing it. It doesn't even hurt. I started sucking my thumb when I was about 3 years old; then I started biting my nails when I was about 6.

Whenever I catch myself, I take my hands away, or try to "hurt" my hand. Usually my family catches me when I'm not aware of what I'm doing. Abby, please help me, and sign this ... THUMB IN MOUTH AND NO NAILS

DEAR THUMB: Try this. Put a rubber band on your wrist, and when you get the urge to suck your thumb or bite your nails, snap the rubber band hard enough to remind you to resist those old habits.

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)