DEAR ABBY: I work in the Central Baggage Service office for a national airline. I am astonished at the amount of baggage and "lost" articles salvaged every year by the airlines. Every week we receive cameras, eyeglasses, binoculars, expensive pens and pencils, car keys, Bibles, wedding albums, books and every other imaginable article.

It really tears me up to throw away wedding, baby and family reunion pictures after holding them for four weeks -- which is our limit. If we can track down the owners, we return whatever they have left behind, but unfortunately, most of the articles have no identification on them.

In addition, we receive hundreds of pieces of "lost" luggage every year. About half of these we cannot return because the airline baggage tag has come off and there is no other way to track down the owner.

If passengers would put several pieces of identification on the bag -- as well as on the inside of the bag -- we could return it to the owner in a matter of a few hours.

Abby, the airline industry has improved greatly in retrieving lost baggage in the last few years. However, nothing would be lost if all the passengers would label their baggage inside and out -- and this includes carry-on luggage and hanging bags, which some travelers have walked off the plane and left behind! -- CHICAGO

DEAR CHICAGO: Thanks for an important letter. I hope this wakes up a few sleepy travelers.

DEAR ABBY: We have lived in this neighborhood for 35 years and we know almost all of our neighbors very well. As a retired man, I pass these homes two or three times a week on my walks. At Christmastime, I drop off our Christmas cards at the homes of our neighbors rather than go through the postal system.

My wife doesn't like that idea. One of our neighbors told another neighbor she thought we were cheap delivering our Christmas cards that way. What we save in postage we give to the Salvation Army. I see nothing wrong with our means of distribution. The wife says, "Write to Abby and ask her."

So, I'm asking. -- CHEAP, OR NOT?

DEAR CHEAP: Do you ring the doorbells and hand the Christmas cards to the recipients? Or do you leave the cards in their mailboxes? If you use the mailboxes, unless you affix appropriate postage to each card, you are in violation of the law.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have several adopted children. One has many birth defects due to parental drug use. His appearance is startling, but he is the sweetest and most loving of children.

The kindest remarks are always those which praise and encourage. Parents are all too aware of their children's problems. They don't need anyone's pity, and you can be sure they've reviewed every treatment option with their physician.

Offer your congratulations on the birth, or comment positively about the child's lovely eyes or bright smile or even adorable clothes. If there are other children, don't ignore them, or the "disabled" child. And please keep your advice to yourself unless asked, especially if you are not close to the parents.

Thanks, Abby, for doing so much to educate the public on handicaps and on adoption. -- PEG G. IN MILFORD, N.J.

Everything you'll need to know about planning a wedding can be found in Abby's booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: The following story is fictitious: A man in his late 20s goes to bed with a 14-year-old girl. He gets caught, is arrested, and goes to prison for a few years where he is subject to all kinds of dangers in prison because of his crime.

The following story is real: A married woman in her late 20s goes to bed with a 14-year-old boy. They are having an affair. The boy and this woman do their frolicking when her husband is at work during his graveyard shift. This boy is some kind of "hero" to his friends, and even to some adults! Why?

This is a double standard in its ugliest fashion. If an underage girl has sex with an adult male, then it is a case of, "Poor girl, he must have taken advantage of her."

When an underage boy has sex with an adult woman, it turns into, "What a stud, atta boy -- learn early!"

Furthermore, I have never heard of a case where a woman went to prison for having sex with underage boys. Isn't it a crime? I am not saying that one is right and the other is not. They're both wrong. Why, however, do women get away with this awful crime? -- FRESNO FRANK

DEAR FRESNO FRANK: Women "get away" with it if the parents of the underage boy are unwilling to charge the woman with having sex with a minor. But regardless of who takes advantage of a minor of either sex -- that person is guilty of statutory rape.

DEAR ABBY: The problem I'm about to tell you is one you probably never heard before.

My husband and I have been married for 14 years and have two great sons. My husband and I have had problems we've tried to resolve with counseling, but the counseling didn't work, so I decided I wanted to leave him while I was young enough to make a happier life for myself.

I called my father-in-law and asked to see him privately so he wouldn't be too shocked when I left his son. Well, he picked me up and we went for a drive out in the country.

When I gave him my news -- he gave me some. He said he and his wife never had a really good marriage, but he stayed with her because of their children, who are all grown now. Then he told me he's always had special feelings for me -- but he would never follow through on them because I belonged to his son.

To make a long story short, we confessed our love for each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together, but we don't know how my sons will feel about having their grandfather for a stepfather. It's a mess, but you only live once. What should we do? -- TRUE STORY

DEAR TRUE STORY: You both need to see a marriage counselor -- but not the one you and your husband saw. Please, think this out carefully and make no announcements before you are certain that your decisions are sound, solid and will stand the test of time.

DEAR ABBY: After reading your wonderful booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," what advice do you have for people who are on the receiving end? How does one respond to people who have "lost it" and are venting their anger on you? -- BEEN THERE

DEAR BEEN THERE: If they become physical, get out of their way and put as much distance as you can between them and you. But if they're venting their anger verbally, you'd be wise to simply listen. Anger expressed is anger defused.

This one's for everybody, from teens to seniors! To purchase Abby's new booklet, "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: In reference to "Missing Out in L.A.," the 39-year-old man who had only sex partners who were extremely flat-chested and was wondering if visiting a nudist camp to "get an eyeful" of large-breasted women would satisfy his curiosity: Your response to this gentleman was right on target: "Nudist resorts are not peep shows!"

The men, women and children who enjoy the "naturalist" lifestyle are not exhibitionists. Anyone who goes to a nudist resort to "get an eyeful" will get an eyeful of the exit in a hurry. All nudist resorts have rules that prohibit gawking, staring or any other unacceptable behavior. This includes any sexual activity.

Nudists are people who feel that being unclothed is natural and not dirty or shameful. Small children are born nudists. Anyone who has been around small children has seen them pull off their clothes just to be rid of the uncomfortable nuisance.

I am 38 and discovered the nudist lifestyle last summer. Never in my life have I felt anything that feels so good and natural. My girlfriend, who was apprehensive at first, finally went with me. Now, together we enjoy our place in the sun. I wish I had found this lifestyle sooner. Please don't misunderstand. This lifestyle is not for everyone. I myself cannot eat sushi. "Live and let live" and "To each his own."

Another solution for "Missing Out in L.A." would be either to go to a topless bar or hire a strip-o-gram. This will allow him to see what he wants to see without offending anyone.

Thank you for steering that gentleman toward another solution, and allowing me to dispel some misconceptions about the nudist lifestyle.

Abby, you may use this letter and edit it as you see fit. I'm enclosing my name, address and phone number if you wish to contact me for any reason, but please do not publish it. Sign this ... "NATURAL IN COLORADO"

DEAR ABBY: A while back, you had a letter in your column about a girl who got an engagement ring that looked like a big diamond, but it was an imitation (cubic zirconia) which she was proudly showing around to all her friends and relatives, thinking it was real.

I guess she fooled some of the people some of the time, but it could have caused her a lot of embarrassment.

I have a different problem concerning my diamond engagement ring. My boyfriend told me that his father got it at a very good price because it was "hot" -- stolen.

I love my fiance very much, but I do not feel comfortable wearing this ring, knowing its history. I do not want to appear ungrateful, and I don't want to insult my boyfriend -- or his father -- but every time someone compliments me on my ring, I want to crawl into a hole and hide.

What should I do? -- ASHAMED IN BUFFALO

DEAR ASHAMED: Be honest with your fiance. Tell him you can't enjoy wearing that ring, knowing its history. Better to have a modest diamond -- or none at all -- than a "hot" rock.

To get Abby's booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054. (Postage is included.)