DEAR ABBY: Recently my husband's sister told us she bought a wolf-dog puppy from a couple she knows who raises them. The pup is about 3 months old and is 75 percent wolf.

I have expressed my concerns to her about the safety of keeping such an animal as a pet. She has two sons who are 13 and 15.

She says a lot of people keep wolf-dogs as pets in her state (Arkansas), and there doesn't seem to be any problem with them.

She is open to any information I can find for her on the subject, and she's told her sons that if there is any problem with the animals, she will get rid of the puppy.

That's fine, but I'd hate to have one of her children attacked and injured.

I have children her sons' ages, and have told her they are not allowed to go near this animal. She's coming to visit us next summer and plans to bring her wolf-dog along.

Abby, do you have any information or advice on these wolf-dogs? Thanks for any help you can give me. -- WORRIED IN VISALIA, CALIF.

DEAR WORRIED: Although owners may argue that some wolf- dog hybrids are less aggressive than some breeds of dogs, the experts are nearly unanimous that owning a pure wolf or a hybrid is a bad idea.

After reading your letter, I located an article by Jack Hope in the June 1994 issue of Smithsonian magazine. It states that as most wolves and wolf hybrids approach sexual maturity (at about 2 years of age), the vast majority begin behaving as the pack-hunting predators their wild genes have predisposed them to be.

"As all owners agree, the animals treat humans as other wolves. But, genetically programmed for the ongoing struggle with pack mates for food and leadership, they have no compunctions about challenging the dominant householder -- usually the male -- with warning growls and a flurry of bites (usually NOT deep bites) for his steak dinner or easy chair, or even for the attentions of his spouse.

"How to curb unwanted behavior is a subject of debate. When only swatted or yelled at, the wolves may not turn tail but growl and bite instead. Disciplined with a severe beating, they'll retreat -- but, wolflike, will attempt the same challenge an hour or a day later -- in an endless contest for dominance.

"Banished to the back yard, the wolves or wolf hybrids usually break free of all but the sturdiest chains or enclosures. Without food, confused, they may prowl the neighborhood attacking cats, rabbits, goats, dogs, even horses, all of which they see as prey. Their predatory instincts can also be triggered by humans, especially if those humans happen to be small or infirm, or if they flee or emit a frightened sound.

"Since 1986, nine children in the United States, from toddlers to a 12-year-old, have been killed (and in one case, partially eaten) by wolf and wolf-dog pets. Many more people, both children and adults, have been maimed. While relatively few of these animals actually kill, most of the former owners interviewed for this article report having been bitten."

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DEAR ABBY: For months I have searched your column for advice about a problem that has somehow taken over my life. This may seem nutty, but it's true. I am a 21-year-old female in college who is very much involved with a 37-year-old married man. I'll call him Frank.

I have been seeing him for a year now. Everything is wonderful between us and he says that he is in love with me, but he does not want to hurt his children -- ages 7 and 9. He promises that if the day ever comes, he will make up for all of our sneaking around and lying.

I am unable to date anyone else because my mind is always on him, therefore I remain faithful. I love him.

Please, any advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated. -- WAITING FOR FRANK

DEAR WAITING FOR FRANK: You have already wasted a year with a married man who will not leave his children and has no qualms about cheating on his wife. Is that what you want for a husband?

Frank may be a good salesman, but unless you want to waste more time buying what he's selling, stop listening to his pitch. Make up your mind what you want and go after it. But forget about Frank. Frank is a time-waster. And nothing is more precious than time.

DEAR ABBY: Today I'm reading about how you differentiate between the terms "having sex" and "making love." You must get tired of people picking apart what you write, but I think I have a good point in suggesting an alternative.

I agree that "having sex" is demeaning and not above what the other animals do out of instinct; but why do we have to create affection as the term "making love" suggests? Shouldn't the love already be there and the sexual interaction be the ultimate expression of that love? Perhaps the term "sharing love" better expresses what we hope that individuals of all ages are experiencing, ideally, in the marriage relationship.

Thanks for your consideration of this suggestion. I don't read your column every day, but for many years I have been enlightened or stimulated to think by your words. Thanks for your efforts, Abby. -- PASTOR RICK EDMUND, GIRDLETREE, MD.

DEAR PASTOR EDMUND: I don't know whether you (or I) can change the vernacular -- but you make a good point.

DEAR ABBY: The complaint about careless smokers throwing cigarette butts out of car windows brought back a big laugh.

In the early '30s, my father bought everyone an ice cream cone as we were driving back home. With all the windows rolled down, he spit a mouthful of tobacco juice out of the driver's window. It came back into the car through the rear side window and landed on my uncle's ice cream cone. I learned more new words in the next few moments than I had heard in all my previous short time. -- RALPH IN ST. PAUL, MINN.

DEAR READERS: I recently ran across this witty quip by New York's former governor, Mario Cuomo:

"We lost our family business in the Wall Street crash of 1929. A stockbroker jumped out of the window and landed on my father's pushcart."

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from Judie Songer of Rogersville, Mo., about junk mail. Her letter prompts me to write.

Ms. Songer stated that "Americans receive almost 2 million tons of junk mail daily!" This information apparently was obtained through Ms. Songer's research for a class speech. Abby, 2 million tons equal 4 billion pounds. If we assume the population of the United States to be 250 million, that equates to 16 pounds of junk mail for each man, woman and child in the country. I doubt that even you receive that much mail.

Ms. Songer's point is well-taken. The volume of junk mail is annoying and represents unreasonable waste. This letter is not a criticism of Ms. Songer, but when one refers to information sources, too frequently our discernment is in the "off" position.

Does this really matter? Yes, I think so. As Americans, we are called upon daily to make decisions that affect every aspect of our lives. For example: Please note that this is a presidential election year. I submit that we will hear numerous preposterous claims from individuals running for office. If we accept all these candidates' claims as stated, without some level of discernment, we will deserve what we get.

Now that I have that off my chest, I must admit that I, too, use some of the methods Ms. Songer suggested to discourage junk mail. -- ROGER WHITE, VANCOUVER, WASH.

DEAR ROGER: The person whose "discernment" was switched off was me, for failing to question the figures. I heard from many readers who pointed out the numbers were incorrect. When I contacted Ms. Songer, she replied as follows:

DEAR ABBY: After you printed my letter about how to get rid of junk mail, I was amazed at the positive letters and phone calls I received; and from that feedback, I learned that this subject is important to others as well. However, one caller questioned the accuracy of my numbers, so to satisfy my curiosity, I rechecked my sources. I did misquote them. Two million tons of junk mail are sent per YEAR, not per day. My apologies to your readers. -- JUDIE SONGER, ROGERSVILLE, MO.

DEAR JUDIE: I appreciate the correction.

DEAR ABBY: I'm so scared. There are many students at my school with weapons, alcohol and even drugs. Yesterday, three kids were suspended because of their use of drugs. Earlier this year, someone brought a pocketknife on my bus.

I'm only in seventh grade, and I still have my whole high school to go through. One of my best friends even told me she wanted to get high just to see what it is like. (She also threatened one of my other friends she doesn't like -- not because of me, though.)

I feel so defenseless. What can I do to protect myself? Please publish this in your column so others in my situation will know what to do. Thank you so much. -- SCARED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SCARED: According to James T. Butts Jr., chief of the Santa Monica, Calif., Police Department, the best thing you can do to protect yourself is to report any unlawful or dangerous conduct you observe to a responsible adult as quickly as possible, and to be brave -- because things will change only when everybody stands up for what is right.

What we must do as a society to reduce crime is make sure that help is available to those who need it -- and assure that there are appropriate consequences for anyone who willfully endangers others.

CONFIDENTIAL TO YOU: Easter is nearly here, so if you plan to surprise a child with a live rabbit, a baby duck or a chick, please consider this: Living creatures need proper care, so unless you are certain that the rabbit, duck or chicken will receive the care it needs to survive, give a stuffed bird or animal instead. Living creatures are not "toys" to be mauled, abused or neglected.

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