DEAR ABBY: In June of 1976, you ran a short essay about teen-age drivers. It was called "Please God, I'm Only 17." I know it has probably run several more times since then, but the message is so important, it should be repeated at least once a year.

Our son, who is now 28, was involved in a car accident. His car was totaled, but thank God he survived. If you use this letter in your column, please sign it ... A CONCERNED PARENT, HUNTSVILLE, ALA.

DEAR PARENT: This piece is one of the most powerful that I have ever run in my column, and I still receive many requests for it. Young people have confirmed that it made them think twice about their driving habits and encouraged them to be careful. You are right; it should run at least once a year, so here it is:

PLEASE GOD, I'M ONLY 17

The day I died was an ordinary school day. How I wish I had taken the bus. But I was too cool for the bus. I remember how I wheedled the car out of Mom. "Special favor," I pleaded. "All the kids drive."

When the 2:50 bell rang, I threw all my books in the locker. I was free until 8:40 tomorrow morning! I ran to the parking lot, excited at the thought of driving a car and being my own boss. Free!

It doesn't matter how the accident happened. I was goofing off -- going too fast. Taking crazy chances. But I was enjoying my freedom and having fun. The last thing I remember was passing an old lady who seemed to be going awfully slow. I heard the deafening crash and felt a terrible jolt. Glass and steel flew everywhere. My whole body seemed to be turning inside out. I heard myself scream.

Suddenly I awakened; it was very quiet. A police officer was standing over me. Then I saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I was saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged glass were sticking out all over. Strange that I couldn't feel anything.

Hey, don't pull that sheet over my head! I can't be dead. I'm only 17. I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to grow up and have a wonderful life. I haven't lived yet. I can't be dead!

Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks had to identify me. Why did they have to see me like this? Why did I have to look at Mom's eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal of her life? Dad suddenly looked like an old man. He told the man in charge, "Yes, he is my son."

The funeral was a weird experience. I saw all my relatives and friends walk toward the casket. They passed by, one by one, and looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. Some of my buddies were crying. A few of the girls touched my hand and sobbed as they walked away.

Please -- somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of here! I can't bear to see my mom and dad so broken up. My grandparents are so racked with grief they can hardly walk. My brothers and sisters are like zombies. They move like robots. In a daze, everybody. No one can believe this. And I can't believe it, either.

Please don't bury me! I'm not dead! I have a lot of living to do! I want to laugh and run again. I want to sing and dance. Please don't put me in the ground. I promise if you give me one more chance, God, I'll be the most careful driver in the whole world. All I want is one more chance!

Please, God, I'm only 17!

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to your column regarding physician aid-in-dying. Legalized assisted suicide is seen by many as death with dignity -- an end to suffering for terminally ill people who have rationally thought through their options and have made a very personal choice.

History supports the fact that society does not value equally the lives of people with disabilities and those without. During the formative years of the effort to legalize assisted suicide, members of the disabled community voiced philosophical concerns about the dangers to people with disabilities.

Dr. Kevorkian has clearly demonstrated he isn't concerned with whether or not the conditions of his "patients" are terminal. He was recently acquitted of aiding the suicide of a 30-year-old man who had recently become a quadriplegic. Did anyone make a concerted effort to counsel the man for depression, to look closely at the reasons he thought his life wasn't worth living? Maybe he needed peer counseling to address the fears most people have about being disabled, fears about not having adequate support, resources and opportunities necessary to achieve a quality life.

The disabled community has legitimate concerns. While recent court decisions have upheld assisted suicide only for competent, terminally ill adults, Judge Stephen Reinhardt, when he wrote for the majority in the decision of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, also said that death is more humane than continuing to live in "a childlike state of helplessness."

Needing assistance using the toilet, eating and bathing do not connote helplessness, nor preclude having a quality life unless you don't have access to the help you need. Needing help is a far cry from being terminally ill. When an able-bodied person attempts suicide, his or her choice is considered irrational. When a disabled person attempts suicide, the act is more readily judged "sane." After all, if you're not physically functional, how could life be worth living?

The dangers of assisted suicide to the disabled community are enormous as long as doctors, judges and juries continue to cast doubt on the worth of people with disabilities. -- MARY ANN JONES, ACTING EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, WESTSIDE CENTER FOR INDEPENDENT LIVING INC.

DEAR MS. JONES: I have the utmost respect for WCIL and the work it does in helping people with disabilities live independently, and I realize the importance of informing my readers about the concerns of the disabled regarding assisted suicide.

I have always believed that the disabled should be treated with compassion and respect, and helped to live in the mainstream of society.

We should at the same time, however, heed the cry of the terminally ill who are of sound mind and who request aid in dying. The Hemlock Society, which I mentioned in a recent column on this subject, is concerned about the patient who is depressed. For that reason, it proposes that not only must the terminal medical condition be clearly established, but also that patients receive counseling from a mental health professional before any decision is made about aid in dying.

Concern for the terminally ill in no way diminishes our responsibility to people who are disabled.

For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm facing a real dilemma with my aging mother. She's approaching 80 and is very set in her ways. She gets angry when anyone suggests she see a doctor, and yet it's obvious she's suffering a hearing loss. And lately she's been falling down a lot -- exiting a department store, getting out of a chair to answer the phone. A couple of weeks ago, in my presence, she fell face first into the mud while retrieving one of her cats that had leapt from her arms.

When I suggest she get checked by a doctor to find out why she's frequently falling down, she says, "There's nothing wrong with me. I just lost my balance."

There's got to be more to it than that, but she's stubborn and not easily convinced to pay attention to my opinions or anyone else's. I love her dearly and worry all the time about her seriously injuring herself in one of her falls.

Any suggestions how I can get her to see a doctor about this problem? -- LOSING SLEEP IN GLENDALE, CALIF.

DEAR LOSING SLEEP: Does your mother have a personal physician? If so, call him or her and repeat what you have described to me. Then schedule your mother for a thorough physical examination and referral to an ear specialist. Ask your mother's physician to call her and suggest it's time for a checkup. You should take her there to be sure she goes.

It's possible that her hearing loss and loss of balance are part of the same problem. Putting off diagnosis and treatment enables your mother to avoid facing the fact that there's a physical problem. Admitting that there is a problem is the first step in resolving it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old male who is going through a somewhat nasty divorce and child custody battle. We were married for seven years and have a 5-year-old child. It was probably a mistake to get married, and the child only compounded our marital problems. There was never any real companionship in our marriage, and frankly, I am starved for female companionship, emotionally and physically.

Do you think there should be a "cooling off" period before I start dating again? I didn't date much before I married and am probably very rusty at it.

Second question: I wear a very high-quality hairpiece. At what time in our relationship should I tell the other person about it? Sign me ... RUSTY

DEAR RUSTY: Since you are "starved" for female companionship, I think it would be wise if you "cooled off" before dating again.

About your hairpiece: The proper time to tell "the other person" about it would be when she starts running her fingers through your hair -- or when you are about to share the same pillow.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: When someone starts out saying, "It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing" -- it's usually the money.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)