DEAR ABBY: It gave me great encouragement to observe your readers' response to the Rod Carew family's pleas for marrow donors last spring. I was saddened that a match was not found for Michelle, but one never knows how many other lives were saved because of your informative columns.

Cancer is the No. 1 disease killing our children. Some cases -- like that of Michelle Carew -- resist all of our best efforts. However, the National Childhood Cancer Foundation is helping to raise the cure rate every day. Forty years ago, leukemia was an always-fatal disease. Today, 73 percent of children diagnosed with leukemia are alive and well five years later, and hopefully will go on to lead productive lives.

The National Childhood Cancer Foundation is a non-profit organization. Our goal is to achieve a world in which there are no children with cancer, and the only way to do that is through medical research. We support research projects at more than 100 of the most prestigious pediatric medical centers in the world. The improvements in the response and cure rates of children with leukemia (and a great variety of tumors) have been the most gratifying in the entire history of cancer therapy.

However, the work is far from finished. Research on the cures of tomorrow must be done today or we will remain where we are. Abby, please let your readers know that a donation made to the National Childhood Cancer Foundation gets right to work on projects that are just waiting to be funded. Those wishing to contribute can call 1-800-458-6223 for donation information, or write to NCCF, P.O. Box 60028, Arcadia, Calif. 91066. -- MEREDITH BRUCKER, NATIONAL CHILDHOOD CANCER FOUNDATION

DEAR MEREDITH: I am pleased to publicize this fine organization. I cannot imagine a more worthwhile commitment than that of the National Childhood Cancer Foundation: a world where no children (or their families) will suffer from the devastation of cancer. I wish you well.

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Ashamed and Heartbroken," about her mother having fallen in love with a much younger man, caught my eye.

After more than 20 years of marriage, my parents were divorced. A few years later, Mother announced that she was going to marry her much younger boyfriend. (He is young enough to be her son.) All of us siblings were skeptical, but we trusted Mother's judgment and accepted her decision. That was more than 20 years ago. Since that time our young stepfather has in some respects been more of a father to us than Dad was. He has always been kind, respectful, supportive and loving to all of us.

Now with the onslaught of years, Mother has been subject to many illnesses and hospital stays. She requires care almost 24 hours a day and her ability to walk is minimal. My stepfather has always been there for her.

Over the holidays, Mother went into the hospital again. I have never witnessed a man so genuinely concerned and loving. Marrying this younger man was the best thing Mother could have done. He is, and always will be, a part of our family, and we love him. -- NOT ASHAMED OR HEARTBROKEN IN TORONTO

DEAR NOT ASHAMED OR HEARTBROKEN: Thank you for your testimonial, which illustrates that love has no age limits. Your mother is in my prayers.

DEAR READERS: Worth remembering: "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." -- FATHER THEODORE M. HESBURGH, NOTRE DAME

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have recently married a wonderful woman whom I consider the girl of my dreams, and I don't want to spoil what we have together.

My problem is an old girlfriend from my college days. Throughout the years, we have remained in contact, mostly because of her persistence. I've wanted to cut the string with this woman for years, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings and saw no harm in maintaining a long-distance friendship, although her dependency on me and her references to me as her "soul mate" have concerned me.

I was relieved when she finally married, but after her marriage came letters and phone calls, complaining about her husband and asking me for advice. She has told me intimate details about him, and frankly, I don't want to share this kind of information about her with my wife. She treats my wife with disregard, sending letters addressed only to me. Her only references to my marriage are the ones that blame it for the lack of communication between us.

Although I once had affection for her, I no longer want this woman in my life, but this decision makes me feel like a heel. Abby, is a man a heel for wanting to put to rest an old relationship?

Have you any suggestions for ending this friendship once and for all? Ignoring her phone messages and letters hasn't seemed to work, and my wife's patience is wearing thin. -- WEARY IN THE WEST

DEAR WEARY: I suggest you TELL this woman that you no longer want to have any communication with her. Then, if her letters and phone calls persist, ask your attorney to explain to her what the word "harassment" means.

DEAR ABBY: Last summer, I was touched by a simple act of kindness from a stranger in a park.

I had gone to New York from California to visit my boyfriend, but by the third day, it was obvious that he didn't want me there.

Overwhelmed with pain and disappointment, I left his apartment and walked down the Manhattan streets, ending up in a park. I sat down and began to cry, thinking to myself, "Everyone says that people in New York don't care, and no one will notice me."

A few moments later, an elderly gentleman walked over and introduced himself. He said he had been sitting across from me, and asked what could be making me so sad. Through my tears, I poured out my heartbreak -- I told him everything. He listened for a long time and then he spoke. "You are a beautiful woman. Your boyfriend doesn't realize what he has. Anyone who would treat you that way isn't worth your time." Then he gave me a hug -- a long, wonderful hug.

This caring, genuine man was like a guardian angel. He gave me the strength to walk back with my head held high, talk to my boyfriend, and feel strong enough to leave the next day.

I will never forget the man in the park. Sometimes perfect strangers show more kindness than one ever expects. -- B.J. IN CALIFORNIA

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from "Driven to Distraction," whose longtime boyfriend was a television nut, I had to write. Believe me, I know how she feels. I was married twice, and both of my husbands were addicted to television. Both tuned me out for that busy box.

My first husband didn't even care what was on. He just needed the picture and the noise. He said they helped him "unwind."

My second husband bought the largest set he could find and turned the volume up as loud as it would go. A bomb could have gone off in the room and it wouldn't have distracted him.

Once, I even stood next to the TV stark naked. He gave me a quick glance, then turned his head and went back to watching TV.

Please tell "Driven to Distraction" she had better think long and hard before she marries a man who is already married to television.

Please don't use my name or the initials of the town I live in. This is a small town and everybody knows me. Sign me ... EX-TELEVISION WIDOW

DEAR EX-WIDOW: If it's any comfort to you, I received letters from many other "television widows" singing your song. Television can be the subtle thief of precious time -- and he or she who falls into the lazy habit of watching just anything that moves is destined to become an intellectual pauper.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing regarding the letter from the lady in her 70s who had been victimized by telephone scams and had ended up broke and in debt, not daring to tell her husband.

You told her to tell the Mr. because "two heads are better than one in a crisis." You should know that senior citizens have available more "heads" than just their own. Because of the number of older victims in so many different scams, there are ombudsmen in most (if not all) states who will give assistance or put these people in touch with those who can help them.

One of the services available in our area is free legal assistance, which this lady could use. It appears that not very many people, elderly or otherwise, are aware of the various kinds of services that are out there. The only way I became aware is through volunteer work that I do at a local senior center. Our ombudsman follows up on all kinds of abuse claims and counsels on any matter that may be beyond the capability of people like the lady who wrote to you.

Tell your senior readers to find out where their closest senior center is and what services they offer. They do a lot more than provide hot lunches. -- EVELYN TANNER, KAYSVILLE, UTAH

DEAR MS. TANNER: Thank you for a valuable addition to this column.

DEAR ABBY: The letter you printed from Dr. Davidson about medical treatment for what he called "social phobia," characterized by fear of humiliation/embarrassment in front of others, took me back to the time I was 14 years old in a Catholic boarding school.

I was very shy, and the sisters suggested I take a course in drama. This required me to stand in front of the class and recite poetry. I could feel my cheeks burning each time I had to perform.

Finally, I confided in my teacher about my embarrassment at blushing. I still remember her response -- after 60 years!

"Annette, there are thousands of women out there who would give anything to be able to blush. Besides, it's very good for the complexion!"

That worked! -- ANNETTE DOYLE, ROLLING HILLS ESTATES, CALIF.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY CHINESE READERS: As is my custom, I would like to wish all of you a Happy New Year. In past years, I have said, "Gung Hay Fat Choy," but several of you wrote to say that is not correct for all Chinese. It was suggested that I convey my wishes as follows: Kung Hsi Fa Tsai; Kung Ho Hsin Hsi; Hsin Nien Kuai Le; San Ni Fei Lo.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)