DEAR ABBY: My friend "Barbara" and I decided to see a play, so she charged her (nonrefundable) ticket to her credit card. Two days later, Barbara realized she had to cancel, and asked me if I knew anyone who wanted to purchase her ticket.

Another friend (I'll call her Linda) said she'd love to go. We agreed she would pay me the night of the play, so I could give Barbara the money. To simplify matters, I went ahead and paid Barbara when she delivered the ticket.

The day before the play, Linda called and announced that she had to go out of town and couldn't attend the play after all. She said there was plenty of time left for me to sell the ticket, and she didn't think she should pay for it. She said that Barbara should return my money and find her own replacement. Barbara, on the other hand, felt that her obligation was over when she sold me the ticket, and is, therefore, out of the picture.

To make a long story short, it was too late to find a replacement for Linda. Each of us feels put out, but I'm also out the money. What should have happened? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR CAUGHT: Linda canceled very late in the game. She should have made an effort to find someone to purchase her ticket instead of placing the burden on you.

Since you were unable to find someone to replace her, Linda should reimburse you the money you advanced on her behalf.

P.S. Watch out for Linda. Although you may consider her to be one, she hasn't treated you like a friend.

DEAR ABBY: The letter you printed from Mary Pryor, describing her stolen purse experience in France, reminded me of the experience an acquaintance of mine had during his visit to Bogota, Colombia.

He chased a thief who had stolen his billfold, yelling -- in his best tour-book Spanish -- what he thought was, "Stop him! I've been robbed!" A policeman finally stopped the culprit, retrieved the billfold and told my American friend that what he actually had been shouting was, "Stop him! I'm a robber! I'm a robber!" -- DON STONE, SIOUX CITY, IOWA

DEAR DON: I suppose your letter illustrates that it's better to speak fractured Spanish than no Spanish at all. You aren't the only reader I heard from after printing Mary Pryor's letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter about the woman whose purse was stolen in the Champs de Mars park in Paris, I had to write. You ended your response to her by saying, "Vive la France! And vive les tourists Americain!"

Well, Abby, as long as you throw around French phrases, you might go to the trouble of getting it right:

Vive la France et vive les touristes americains!

We are always first in line to ridicule the fractured English we see or read in foreign countries. Shame on you. -- ERNESTINE BLOOMBERG, TIGARD, ORE.

DEAR ERNESTINE: Excusez mes fautes d'orthographe et de grammaire. I don't speak French, but thank heavens I have friends who do!

Thanks for pointing out the errors.

DEAR ABBY: I thought I'd give you your laugh for the day:

When I read my 73-year-old husband your column about the wife who came home and found her 73-year-old husband watching pornographic movies, my husband asked, "What channel was he watching?" -- AMUSED IN POWDER SPRINGS, GA.

DEAR AMUSED: Your letter reminds me of one I received many years ago. It came from a man who wrote: "Dear Abby: I hear there's a sexual revolution going on. Could you please tell me where it is, and how do I get there?"

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Because your column reaches millions of women every day, I am writing to you about a deadly disease that gets little attention, and as a one-year survivor, I have found women know little about. It is the disease that killed comedienne Gilda Radner, Cassandra Harris (actor Pierce Brosnan's wife), actresses Carolyn Jones, Joan Hackett, Sandy Dennis, Jessica Tandy, singer/songwriter Laura Nyro, and the mother of Olympic skater Oksana Baiul (at age 36) -- ovarian cancer.

The deadliest of all gynecological cancers, an estimated 26,000 cases are diagnosed in the United States each year, and 13,000 die from it annually. It is also called the "silent killer" because the symptoms are vague, often ignored or minimized by both patient and physician, and thus usually not diagnosed until it is in an advanced stage. However, there are symptoms and risk factors to know about, and early detection gives the best chance for survival.

Ovarian cancer usually strikes women between the ages of 40 and 70, although I know many women in their 30s who have it. It is more prevalent in women who have had no pregnancies, have taken fertility drugs, had an early menopause, eaten a high-fat diet or frequently used talcum powder in the genital area. It is also more common in those with a history of breast cancer or ovarian problems, or a family history of ovarian, breast or colon cancer. There are three women in my Ovarian Cancer Support Group at SHARE in New York City who had breast cancer and complained of ovarian cancer symptoms and were not diagnosed until an advanced state.

Symptoms that MAY indicate ovarian cancer are: abdominal bloating, swelling or pain, urinary frequency or urgency, constipation, gastrointestinal discomfort such as gas, nausea or indigestion, menstrual abnormalities, back and leg pain and fatigue -- symptoms that women and their physicians often downplay or attribute to other causes. Many complain of a feeling of "fullness."

Since these are symptoms that women may experience from time to time, they are often told by their doctors that it's "nothing." These symptoms may be due to other causes, but if they are present for more than a few weeks, INSIST that your doctor rule out this dread disease by performing a pelvic examination, a pelvic sonogram, a CA-125 blood test, which is a marker for ovarian cancer, and if necessary, a CAT scan. Being persistent can save your life!

Abby, if you will print my letter, and if your readers will clip this column to share with their mothers, daughters, sisters, friends and co-workers, you could save many lives. Please help me give this "silent killer" a voice. -- MARSHA NEWMAN, LONG ISLAND CITY, N.Y.

DEAR MARSHA: I'm sure many women will be grateful to you for speaking out about this killer. It is important that all women know the warning signs of cancer and notify their doctors if any unusual symptoms persist for more than a week or two. That precaution can be a lifesaver.

DEAR ABBY: Your column about pets being left in hot cars reminded me of a steamy day last summer.

My car was low on gas, so I pulled into a self-serve station that had no other customers at the time. As I filled my tank with gas, an attendant came over to admonish me for not having lowered the car's windows for my dog's comfort. I tried to explain that the air conditioner had been left on, and that for the few minutes it would take to fill the tank with gas, the dog would be much more comfortable with the windows up.

Unconvinced, the attendant said, "A dog can die with the windows up, you know."

Agreeing with the message, if not the circumstances, I smiled, nodded and drove off in my still-cool car. But I was a bit bemused that the attendant showed absolutely no concern for my two CHILDREN who were also in the car with my dog. -- L.F. IN MISSION VIEJO, CALIF.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from "Keeping My Pants On in Florida," I believe further information regarding genital warts should be presented to the public.

Genital warts are caused by human papilloma virus (HPV) and may have an incubation period of many years. Conservative estimates state that at least 50 percent of sexually active persons have been exposed to the virus. Therefore, if someone or his/her sex partner has had two or more sexual partners, it is not unlikely that they have been exposed.

Certain types of HPV have been implicated as the cause of both cervical and penile cancer, which is why annual Pap smears and male genital exams are so important.

Since the virus is so prevalent and the incubation period can be so long, it seems more likely that this young man's condition came from his previous unprotected sexually active lifestyle. When this condition is diagnosed in my patients, I strongly encourage them not to place the blame on their current sexual partner, as they may have been exposed many years earlier.

I felt sorry for the young lady the man blamed in his letter. She seemed to be a woman of high moral values, and now she's being blamed for something that may not have been her fault.

She should contact her doctor immediately and schedule a Pap smear if she has not already done so. -- DANIEL E. KONOLD, D.O., CANAL WINCHESTER FAMILY HEALTH, CANAL WINCHESTER, OHIO

DEAR DR. KONOLD: I was not aware that genital warts can have such a long incubation period. I'm sure it will also be news to many of my readers. Thank you for pointing this out.

DEAR ABBY: My older son went golfing in Ann Arbor, Mich., in the fall of 1974, and while he was on the golf course he managed to lose his University of Michigan college ring.

Last fall (1996) he received a telephone call and a letter. It seems a maintenance man found his ring. It had been in the ground for 22 years and had only a slight dent in the band.

Can you imagine how many people had walked over that ground, and how many times a lawn mower had gone over that ring?

Abby, as a longtime reader of your column, I just wanted you to know that there are a lot of nice people in this world -- and miracles do happen. -- ARLENE HORVATH, LINCOLN PARK, MICH.

DEAR ARLENE: If there's anything I have learned from my readers over the years, it's that basic goodness dwells in most of them. And it's very uplifting to receive a letter that affirms this.

DEAR ABBY: Your column in the St. Petersburg Times listed people who managed to succeed against the odds.

I don't know about the rest of them, but your thumbnail sketch of the great Italian conductor Arturo Toscanini was quite inaccurate.

Toscanini was NOT a "second fiddle in an obscure South American orchestra." He was a gifted and superbly trained cellist in an orchestra formed by an Italian impresario for a South American tour.

Toscanini graduated at the top of his class at the Parma Conservatory and as a student was nicknamed "Genio" (genius). In addition to being the principal cellist of the touring orchestra, Toscanini was the opera company's vocal coach and was greatly admired by the singers and instrumentalists. Thus he was exceedingly well prepared and equipped for his impromptu conducting debut at age 19, and for the unique career that followed. -- ANTHONY SKEY, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR MR. SKEY: Thank you for pointing out the inaccuracy concerning Toscanini. Mea culpa!

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)