DEAR ABBY: You printed a letter from a scared 15-year-old girl who was being pestered by a family friend, and whose parents did not take her fear seriously.

To "Quaking in California," I would like to say: "If Sam has taken photos of you at the mall and is leaving suggestive notes on your door, he is already stalking you! Do something about it now. Go to the police and let them know your fears."

I am a convicted sex offender, and I see it as only a matter of time before this man comes after this young lady and rapes her. The police should be notified immediately. She is in my prayers. -- 'TREATED' IN MONROE, WASH.

DEAR TREATED: The girl's letter brought a flood of mail from readers who identified with it and offered advice. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Your advice fell a little short. She is worried that "Sam" might start stalking her. I've got news for you: He already is! California stalking laws are very specific, and Sam's activities would definitely qualify as such. Sam is 34 and trying to start a relationship with a 15-year-old. Last time I checked, that was illegal -- consensual or not. Being drunk is no excuse. She would be best advised to talk to the police and seek a restraining order. When looking for friends, maybe her parents should look somewhere other than the local bar. -- BRYAN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: I'm 32, but when I was 15, a friend of my brother's (who is 10 years older than me) started making passes at me. This went on for about two months. It ended with my being raped. The emotional scars I have dealt with; the physical scars I cover up.

Abby, "Quaking in California" has reason to be afraid. "Sam" is stalking her, and if her parents won't listen, she should take copies of the notes from her father's friend to the police. -- K.H. IN FRESNO, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I knew I had to write when I read the letter from "Quaking." That was me 20 years ago. I spent several years of my life afraid to attend any family gatherings. If I went, I would be afraid even to go to the bathroom for fear "Uncle Pete" would follow me. My parents thought I was an overimaginative child, too young to know what was going on.

Well, one night Uncle Pete passed out on our couch, and I woke up to find him all over me! He ripped off my clothes and I thought he was going to rape me. I managed to push him off me and scream. Uncle Pete ran out of the house and I never saw him again. My dad made sure of it!

Abby, too many parents think their children are too young to know what sexual harassment is, but they're not. Children know the feelings of shame and fear when someone makes sexual moves on them, even if they don't know what to call those feelings. But there is a name for it: sexual abuse of children.

Her instincts should be applauded, but she needs help fast. Most rapes are committed by a family friend or member, not by an unknown. Parents must teach their children not to succumb to the child predator.

"Quaking," go to your counselor or teachers, or the police. If you can't do that, find an adult you can trust -- maybe the mother of a friend. If you came to me, I would help, and there are many other good people who would, too. Good luck, and may the Lord keep you safe. -- SURVIVOR IN SIMPSONVILLE, S.C.

DEAR READERS: I regret that space limitations prevent me from printing all of the excellent letters I have received offering support and direction for "Quaking in California." However, tomorrow I will print two more -- from professionals who work with children. Stay tuned.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My fiance hates my cooking. Every time I make a meal and ask him what he thinks, he has a different complaint. If I correct what he complained about, he finds a new complaint.

I made a meatloaf. He said the onions overpowered it. I made a romantic, candlelit dinner of chicken and roasted potatoes with a cream sauce. He called it weird. When I prepare a time-consuming dinner, he smothers it with ketchup or salad dressing. It's always "too much salt," "too bland," "needs something," or "not like my mother made," etc.

Abby, I have told him this is hurtful, but he still complains. He has even called my cooking "gross."

I'm sure it isn't that I can't cook -- other people love what I prepare, and my mother says I'm a natural. I have been cooking since I was 11 years old.

My fiance also cooks occasionally, and when he does, I always compliment him on whatever he makes. Is it too much to expect him to express appreciation for my efforts? -- CRUSHED IN ARLINGTON, TEXAS

DEAR CRUSHED: Since you can't please your fiance and he knows how to cook, turn the chore over to him. When you feel the urge to cook, do it for your friends who appreciate your culinary skills.

Your fiance may get his fill of cooking if he has to do all of it, and then he may be glad to let you take over. However, refuse unless he promises not to criticize, to give you a compliment now and then, and share his recipes and culinary secrets.

DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, you printed a letter about people carelessly opening car doors in parking lots, marring adjacent cars. Paint nicks and surface dents barely scratch the surface of this issue. But car doors opened into traffic cause much worse damage -- to bicyclists.

Most states require cyclists to ride on the right, beside parked cars. No cyclist is psychic enough to anticipate when a car door is about to open in front of him, and many serious injuries have resulted from such an action.

A growing number of people commute by bicycles, and most cyclists will tell you that their most constant fear is getting "doored." It's happened to me, and although it was painful, I was fortunate that my bicycle was damaged more than my body.

Vehicle occupants have the benefit of rearview mirrors. This is why most states require drivers to check those mirrors and only then carefully open the doors without impeding traffic -- including bicycles.

If you drive, please remember that cyclists aren't just "careless kids." Many of us are responsible adults who've speeded up your commute by keeping our cars off the road. In return, please realize that we are vulnerable, and check your mirror carefully before reaching for your door handle. -- MICHAEL KATZ, STEERING COMMITTEE, BICYCLE-FRIENDLY BERKELEY COALITION

DEAR MICHAEL: You've given voice to a small but important group who care about the environment as well as their own safety. More pedal power to you!

DEAR ABBY: My problem is I curse way too much. I truly would like to stop, because I hate cursing.

I am 36 years old and have three young children, all under 10 years old. I lose my patience with my kids, and that's when I use the worst of words.

I'm a good parent otherwise, and I love my children very much. But I need to quit cursing. Please help! -- CURSING MOM

DEAR CURSING MOM: When you feel like cursing, substitute an acceptable word or phrase for the curse words. I had a neighbor who, when angered, would shout, "Holy Moses!" and, "Gosh darn son-of-a-sea-cook!"

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: You opened a can of worms by printing the letter from "Suspicious in Illinois" about her belief that "groups of men who fill stadiums" are told to "be in control of every major facet of life." She is obviously talking about the Promise Keepers organization that literally saved my marriage, but she needs to get her facts straight. The main objective of the Promise Keepers is to be men of integrity, men who can be trusted to do what they say -- starting at home with their families.

My husband reluctantly went to a Promise Keepers rally in Seattle a few years ago. When he came home he was a changed man. He said they spent an entire afternoon on "how to honor your wife," and he worked hard to live up to what he had learned -- like really listening to me, spending time alone with me (outside the bedroom), and insisting that the kids respect my decisions.

Our marriage immediately took a turn for the better. We still have our troubles, but because of Promise Keepers we're working them out. I'm glad my man is a Promise Keeper! -- JANE CULBERTSON, LAKE OSWEGO, ORE.

DEAR JANE: The vast majority of the mail I have received about the Promise Keepers has come from enthusiastic wives such as yourself. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My husband belongs to that group "Suspicious" says preach that men should control every major facet of life. She's wrong, Abby. They aren't male supremacists.

Frankly, any group that helps my husband grow spiritually and brings him closer to me I will support 100 percent. Marriage is very difficult in this age, and we need all the help we can get.

I handle the finances in my family because I'm better at it than my husband, and we're partners who use each other's abilities to build a successful marriage. -- HAPPY MY HUSBAND KEEPS HIS PROMISES, NORFOLK, VA.

DEAR HAPPY: If you are handling the finances, you would hardly qualify as a subjugated woman. Thank you for the input. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have just returned from serving as a volunteer for one of those conferences that "fills stadiums full of men." I heard 100 percent of what was said during a two-day Promise Keepers conference of about 55,000 men, which my husband and several friends attended.

At no time were the men told they should be in control of every major facet of life. No male supremacy messages were given at all. They WERE instructed to give that control to their Maker and God.

All day long I assisted attendees as they purchased T-shirts, caps, books and tapes to take home to their families. The men treated me with the utmost respect and honor, thanking me for my willingness to volunteer my time.

They spoke of their wives with love and respect. Nothing was said or done that was in any way demeaning or condescending to women. The Bible was used as the source for all instruction. The Bible speaks of the leadership of men, but never in such a way as to put down women.

My husband and I have just celebrated 30 years of marriage. When he began to assume his God-given responsibilities, our marriage improved. We have worked together for 25 years, and the biblical principles that have governed our marriage have also governed our business.

Thank you for the chance to speak my mind. -- CHERYL CRAIN, LEWISVILLE, TEXAS

DEAR CHERYL AND THE MANY WOMEN WHO WROTE IN SUPPORT OF PROMISE KEEPERS: Thank you for your heartfelt input. I learn from my readers every day, as my readers say they learn from me, and I thank you for your candor.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)