DEAR ABBY: In December of last year, I was traveling to college to take my final exams when I was in a serious automobile accident. It had been snowing most of the morning and I lost control of my car. I hit the guardrail, a large truck, a tree -- and ended up in a ditch.

When my car stopped spiraling out of control, I got out, and as I stood in the snow, I screamed but no sounds came out. I was crying, but no tears rolled down my cheeks. My body was in shock.

The first person to stop at the accident was Molly. She came to me, put her arms around me and held me. When she did that, I collapsed. I was so scared and so alone. She took me to her car where it was warm and safe. She calmed me by telling me about her young children and her Christmas tree. She was like a guardian angel. We sat in her car until the state police arrived.

After the police and rescue arrived, everything happened so fast I never got the chance to give Molly a hug and properly thank her.

Abby, would you please print my letter and my message to this dear woman? I'd like to say, "Molly, thank you for what you did for me. You were an angel, and I'll never forget you." -- SHEBA COTE, WINSLOW, MAINE

DEAR SHEBA: I'm pleased to publish your letter and message. Guardian angels are people who think first with their hearts. If Molly wasn't a heavenly angel, she was as close to one as a human being can get on that snowy day. Thank you for sharing your story.

DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter and her husband have been married just five years, and now they want to renew their wedding vows. Their first ceremony was a "quickie" before a local judge with no family or friends present.

Would it be proper for them to renew their wedding vows in a church with a reception afterward? If so, who pays for the event, and do the guests bring gifts? -- CONFUSED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CONFUSED: A renewal or reaffirmation of wedding vows has become increasingly popular in recent years, usually for couples who have been married 10 or more years. Traditionally, wedding vows are repeated on the couple's anniversary, with each promising to continue to "love, honor and cherish."

There is no right or wrong way to renew one's wedding vows. It can be done as formally as a church ceremony (white gown and all), or as casually as giving a party, inviting a clergyperson, and verbalizing your love and commitment to each other in the privacy of your living room, surrounded by family and friends.

The couple pays for the event, including the reception. No gifts from the guests are expected, although it would be gracious to bring the couple a gift to mark their latest wedding anniversary. They may wish to exchange rings again, either old or new.

DEAR ABBY: At the risk of sounding prejudiced, can you tell me why so many Jewish celebrities constantly remind everyone that they are Jewish? For example, there is Larry King, Dr. Laura and Judge Judy. I have watched or listened to other celebrities for years, and they don't give you a clue as to their ethnic background or religious persuasion, which is fine with me. This seems to be a Jewish trait. Can you explain it? -- CURIOUS, TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR CURIOUS: I was not aware that "so many Jewish celebrities" constantly remind everyone that they are Jewish. The reasons probably vary from individual to individual. You will have to ask Larry King, Dr. Laura or Judge Judy.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Please help us to make a decision. Our 81-year-old father likes women -- females of any age.

In the past, he pursued a teen-age neighbor girl to the point that her family moved away. His adopted granddaughter calls him "a dirty old man" and won't come near him. As I understand it, he pursues, looks, touches, hugs, kisses, but doesn't rape.

My mother tries to save face. Our problem is that Dad and Mother have moved to another state, away from us. They are now living next door to a wonderful young couple who have a 3-year-old girl.

So far, Dad just watches the child when they visit and he only gives the young mother elaborate hugs and makes risque remarks. Mom admits that "she watches him like a hawk" when she baby-sits the little girl.

Abby, we are worried the day will come when he is alone with the child or the parents make the mistake of asking him to baby-sit. Do we warn the parents and ruin the neighborhood camaraderie? Talking to Dad won't help, as he seems to think he has no problem. What do you think? -- HIS FOUR CHILDREN IN TEXAS

DEAR HIS FOUR CHILDREN: If the four of you and your mother think your father has a problem, then he has one. The child's safety must come first.

Tell your mother that if she doesn't tell the neighbors about your father's background, you will. If your father tried to do something inappropriate to the child -- or any other -- it could cause enormous damage. You would have moral liability for his behavior, and, of course, your father could go to jail.

DEAR ABBY: Many times over the years I have meant to write to you to express how grateful I am to live in this country and be able to express myself freely.

When I was a corporal in the U.S. Army in 1947, as an information and education specialist, I had the honor of escorting a female Jewish doctor from Schweinfurt, Germany, back to her home town in Trutnov, Czechoslovakia. She had been interned by the Nazis from 1933 until after the liberation in 1945, and then in a displaced persons camp until I escorted her back to her former home.

She made such an impression on me, telling me what she'd had to endure all those years. Then, 30 years later, in 1977 she unknowingly walked into Maas Bros. department store and bought a color TV from me. The flashback was there, as if by God's wish. It had special meaning to me being of Irish-German descent.

I am now a 73-year-old senior citizen, privileged to live with this beautiful memory. It makes me more compassionate, knowing what the Jewish people went through at the hands of those insane madmen.

Thank you, Dear Abby, for letting me express my gratitude. -- VICTOR H. COLLAR, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR VICTOR: Thank you for expressing it.

Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.

DEAR ABBY: I have custody of my granddaughter, "Natasha," because my son and daughter-in-law divorced when Natasha was 3 months old. My daughter-in-law got involved with drugs and gave the baby to my son. My son had an accident and gave custody of Natasha to me because he could no longer take care of her.

When I turned 57, I sent Natasha to live with my daughter and son-in-law because I thought I was getting too old to have a 9-year-old.

A year ago, I found out that my son-in-law had been molesting Natasha, and I took her back. We went to the prosecuting attorney. After a year of counseling and trials, my son-in-law was found guilty of child molestation in the first degree.

Abby, when will my daughter stop blaming Natasha and me? She's telling everybody that Natasha lied -- that her husband never touched the child. She insists Natasha lied because she never liked her uncle. It has been a year now. Will my daughter ever get over it? -- TROUBLED MOM IN WASHINGTON

DEAR TROUBLED MOM: Your daughter is in denial, and there's no guarantee she'll ever get over it. Had there not been corroborating evidence to back up the accusation, I'm sure there wouldn't have been a conviction.

It seems that you are the only stable adult in Natasha's life. Although raising a child alone is difficult at your age, I hope you'll find the strength to do it.

Believe me, you are far from alone in having to assume the role of parent to a grandchild. According to U.S. Census Bureau figures, the number of children being raised by grandparents increased by 44 percent between 1980 and 1990. That figure went up 23 percent between 1990 and 1997. As of 1999, 1.4 million children live apart from their parents in households headed by grandparents.

In 1987, a support network called GAP (Grandparents as Parents) was founded that facilitates the sharing of experiences and feelings between grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. It provides information and referrals, a telephone support network, group member listing and assistance in starting groups.

To contact them, write: GAP, P.O. Box 964, Lakewood, Calif. 90714. (Please enclose a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope.)

A service sponsored by AARP called the Grandparents Information Center also refers custodial grandparents to support groups nationwide, and provides free publications on a variety of issues related to raising grandchildren, financial assistance and advocacy. To contact them, write: Grandparents Information Center, 601 E St. S.W., Washington, D.C. 20049.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY ASIAN FRIENDS: It's the Year of the Hare (Rabbit), and I'd like to take this opportunity to wish you a Happy New Year. So: "Gung Hay Fat Choy," "Kung Hsi Fa Tsai," "Kung Ho Hsin Hsi," "Hsin Nien Kuai Le," "San Ni Fei Lo" and "Chuc Mung Nam Moi." I wish happiness and prosperity to you all.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)