DEAR ABBY: I was intrigued by your response column about "Sick of Scraps." I can't help but wonder if I'm the only person who knows about Emily Dickinson, the great American poet who lived in Amherst, Mass., in the early 19th century. She and her sister came from a thrifty New England family and were evidently raised to "waste not, want not."

Emily Dickinson wrote many of her poems on pieces of scrap paper, the back of grocery lists, etc. After her death, her sister found little rolls of those papers, tied with ribbon, among her effects. So, one of our greatest geniuses utilized scrap paper! -- MARY LEE ROLLOW, PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR MARY LEE: What an enlightening tidbit! One never knows when a bolt of inspiration will strike. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Enough of "Sick of Scraps," already. After all, did the Gettysburg Address, having been written on a used scrap piece of plain brown envelope with a pencil, diminish in any way the importance of that historical document? I think not! -- L.S., HUNTINGTON, W.VA.

DEAR L.S.: Many untrue stories have circulated about President Lincoln's famous speech. One of them is that it was written in pencil on the back of an old brown envelope while he was on the train on his way to Gettysburg. According to the World Book Encyclopedia, Abraham Lincoln actually wrote five different versions of the Gettysburg Address. Most of the first draft was written in Washington, before he traveled to Gettysburg. However, thank you for giving me the opportunity to dispel an untrue rumor -- even at this late date.

The letter from "Sick of Scraps" must have touched a great many people, because mail is still coming in about it. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: As a mother and grandmother, I have enjoyed your column for many years, and I can relate to some of the letters, but the one from "Sick of Scraps" brought tears to my eyes.

My beloved mother sent me letters written on scrap paper after I moved to Hawaii. However, I eagerly looked forward to her "scraps" -- always surprised at what she would come up with.

On May 17, 1992, she walked several blocks to the post office, walked back home, and that evening was rushed to the hospital, where she passed away.

I will always treasure that last scrap letter. It was written on a brown piece of "junk mail" envelope and was filled with plans she had made for the two of us, as I was going home the next month to spend the summer with her.

Abby, please tell "Sick of Scraps" to enjoy the treasures her friend sends. They will be more valuable to her than any hundred-dollar stationery could ever be. -- JUNE BROWN FROM VIRGINIA

DEAR JUNE: How generous of you to want to share your last precious memory of your beloved mother. As this column illustrates, the thoughts within a letter are more important than the quality of the paper on which it was written.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I would like to comment on the letter from "Victorious in Oregon," the woman whose young daughter and niece made adult entertainment telephone calls amounting to $260. She was fortunate that, by law, she was not obligated to pay for the calls, but there are other issues involved.

The girls were old enough to know they were doing something wrong, and I assume they were punished. But I still think the charges were legitimate. Parents should be financially responsible if their children break the law (i.e. commit vandalism).

Children must be taught that actions have consequences for which they must take responsibility. Years ago, when my daughter was a teen-ager, she was careless about guarding her telephone calling card PIN number, and a friend of hers used the calling card without permission to make $50 worth of calls.

Neither of us knew the source of these charges, and the telephone company was willing to remove them from our bill. When we figured out the identity of the caller, I asked the phone company not to deduct the charges, and my daughter paid them.

It was an expensive lesson for her, but an important one. Today she is a thoughtful, responsible adult -- not that she wouldn't have been had I paid the charges or allowed them to be deducted. -- LYNN B., FOUNTAIN VALLEY, CALIF.

DEAR LYNN: I agree that children should be taught the consequences of their actions -- and I'd be surprised if the children involved in making those phone calls didn't receive a severe lecture and grounding for their mischief. Styles of discipline vary from family to family, and making the girls foot the bill seemed excessively strict to me since it was a first offense.

I am aware that there are more issues involved than whether the parents should have been liable for the phone bill the girls ran up. The children seem to have a lot of unsupervised time on their hands, which in this case they used to satisfy their curiosity about sex. "Victorious" is overdue for a frank discussion with the girls about sex. Now that the hassle with the phone company has been settled, she should turn her attention to enrolling the girls in after-school activities such as music, sports or special-interest clubs, so their minds will be occupied with more wholesome things than X-rated adult entertainment.

DEAR ABBY: I am a bride-to-be who is in the midst of planning my wedding. I have several single guests on my wedding invitation list. Am I obligated to invite the single person with a guest if I know that they do not have a significant other? I did not find that point in your wedding booklet. -- JUNE BRIDE

DEAR BRIDE: You are under no obligation to invite single guests to bring an escort to your wedding, but it would be very gracious of you to do so. Sometimes unattached people feel isolated at weddings because it may seem that everyone else is part of a couple.

Thank you for pointing out that this was omitted in my wedding booklet -- I'll correct it in the next printing.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "LOOKING FOR A BETTER FUTURE": "When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better." (Malcolm S. Forbes)

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: How do I deal with a close female friend who has the need to bestow gifts on me often for no reason?

I am a married woman, 65 years old and retired. About two years ago, I met and became friends with the gift-giver. She is a widow about my age. I don't want to ruin our friendship by seeming ungrateful for her generosity, but when I object to the gifts, she appears hurt and withdrawn. Since I don't want to hurt her, I've made a concerted effort to stop my objections.

However, Abby, I need to know why I am resisting her gifts. Is it because they threaten my independence? Even if I could afford to, I wouldn't try to reciprocate her gift-giving to such an extravagant degree. What is it that I do not understand here? Your advice would be welcome. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN ARIZONA

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: You may be uncomfortable about accepting your friend's gifts because they make you feel obligated, or locked into the friendship. Although your reaction is normal, it's important to be gracious about accepting gifts and favors. Since your friend derives pleasure from giving you gifts, try not to spoil her fun.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I, both in our 70s, feel patronized when waiters, clerks, medical personnel and others call us "young woman" or "young man."

When we tell them we don't like being addressed that way, they are often puzzled or offended, and reply, "We were paying you a compliment because you look young for your age."

We'd appreciate your advice about how we might handle this problem. It might help if you call this to the attention of your readers. -- RETIRED IN L.A.

DEAR RETIRED: Although "young woman" or "young man" may be well-intentioned, it comes across as presumptuous and patronizing. The next time someone tells you it's intended as a compliment, tell the person you appreciate the thought, but you'd prefer to be addressed as Mr. and Mrs. (if that's your preference).

DEAR ABBY: My wife has a friend who has been going to a therapist for her emotional problems for more than seven years. Some of our friends feel she is being taken for a ride, since no resolution has resulted.

Are there any guidelines on how long a patient should be treated by a therapist? Can a therapist suggest a switch to another professional counselor?

Please do not reveal my name or location. We want to remain friendly with this woman. -- CURIOUS

DEAR CURIOUS: Yes, a therapist can suggest a switch to another professional counselor -- and many of them do. If the patient is not showing progress, a consultation with another therapist would be indicated. If the therapist is legitimate, he or she would welcome the idea.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)