DEAR ABBY: My cousin is the single mother of a 9-year-old boy, "Kenneth." He is an only child.

Kenneth has never slept in his own room. After his father left, my cousin used this as her excuse to let him sleep with her. He doesn't want to be alone and is afraid his mother will leave him, too, so that's the excuse she uses to justify allowing him to sleep with her.

Abby, his father left four years ago!

I spoke to my cousin about this, and she said, "It's no big deal; plenty of people do it." The truth of the matter is that she doesn't have the patience to listen to him scream and cry all night if she tries to make him sleep in his own room. It's obvious to the family that Kenneth is in charge of their household.

I'm afraid this boy will have serious problems due to the sleeping arrangements. I'm also worried that a state agency will get wind of this strange situation and investigate my cousin.

Do you agree that this boy will become maladjusted? Perhaps if she sees it in your column, she'll wise up. -- NAMELESS

DEAR NAMELESS: Kenneth should not be sleeping in the same bed with his mother. If your cousin doesn't know how abnormal this situation is, she should be told in no uncertain terms that she's doing her son a terrible disservice with this sleeping arrangement.

Further, at age 9, Kenneth is too old to be "screaming and crying all night" when he's left alone. The boy needs counseling to overcome his fears of abandonment.

DEAR ABBY: As a state trooper, I would like to comment on your advice that drivers pull over before using their cellular phones. While it is dangerous to drive while using the phone, it can be equally dangerous to just "pull over" while on the highway.

Many vehicles stop in the breakdown lane for this purpose without realizing that the most serious accidents take place when there is a large variance in the speeds of the objects colliding. This occurs most frequently when a stationary car or person is only inches away from traffic traveling in excess of 60 to 70 mph. It takes only a moment's inattention for a tragedy to occur. Many fatal accidents are the result of a truck or car straying only slightly over the white line near a stopped vehicle.

Because of this danger, our state and many others prohibit the use of the breakdown lane unless there is a mechanical or medical emergency.

Abby, please urge your readers to use caution when pulling over. Look for a safe place to stop well away from the flow of traffic such as rest areas or parking lots, and of course, ALWAYS wear seat belts.

Thank you for all your good work on behalf of police officers everywhere. -- TROOPER STEVE EARLE, MASSACHUSETTS STATE POLICE

DEAR TROOPER EARLE: Your advice to stop well away from high-speed traffic is a safety tip that could save the lives of many. Thank you for it, and for the reminder that a moment's distraction can occur during a long highway journey even with the safest of drivers. It is absolutely vital that motorists stay fully alert at all times.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Abby Fan," the motel guest who's allergic to animals. Guests should not have to assume there have been pets in a motel room and that there is still animal dander in the room. Just as most hotels have smoke-free rooms, perhaps a few rooms could be specifically set aside for people who travel with their pets, leaving the rest "dander-free."

As a flight attendant with a major airline, I know firsthand the difficulties we encounter with pets on board. Although FAA rules require that any animal traveling in the passenger cabin be confined to a carrier at all times, with the exception of sight or hearing-aid dogs, passengers often assume that their adored pet will be welcome to sit on the seat and that other passengers and the cabin crew will understand.

Abby, this is a safety issue, as well as a health issue for those with allergic reactions. An allergic reaction at 35,000 feet is very frightening, especially if we don't realize the cause was a cat or dog from a previous flight that was allowed to sit in that seat and left hair and dander behind.

Animal lovers, please understand that like smokers, you must respect other people's health. -- CONNIE MALTIN, HILLSBOROUGH, CALIF.

DEAR CONNIE: Anyone who wishes to sleep in a room free of the lingering smell of cigarette smoke, or who suffers from animal allergies and requires a dander-free environment, should not assume these criteria will be met unless they first notify the establishment ahead of time. However, as you have pointed out, it might not occur to many individuals that the passenger cabin of an airplane is not dander-free. Thank you for bringing a potential health risk to my attention and for providing pet owners an opportunity to understand why their traveling companions should remain in their carriers throughout the flight. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was on a flight from Chicago to Los Angeles and experienced a severe allergic reaction. Finally, I asked the flight attendant if there was a cat on board the aircraft. Sure enough, someone had brought one on board. The upshot was that I spent the rest of the flight on oxygen.

Prior to that, I was unaware that airlines allowed that sort of thing. Animal allergies are fairly common, and animal dander should be kept out of the recirculated air of the airline cabin. Some people suffer from allergies to animals that could be life-threatening. -- ALLERGIC IN L.A.

DEAR ALLERGIC: You have raised an interesting point. A word to the wise: Since we live in an imperfect world, and travelers cannot be guaranteed an allergen-free environment, those who suffer from life-threatening allergies should be sure their allergy medication is within easy reach at all times.

DEAR READERS: A reader submitted the following:

"Some time ago, the mayor of North Platte, Neb., announced that if he could raise $5,000 for his re-election campaign, he would walk naked down the main street for all to see.

"The citizens of North Platte raised the $5,000 -- and the mayor walked his dog, named Naked, down the main street."

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I read your column every day, although it always makes me sad to hear the problems so many of your readers have with their mothers-in-law. My dear daughter-in-law, Lona Mills, sent me this poem last Mother's Day. It made me feel so good inside that I hope you will share it with your readers this Mother's Day. -- ROSALIE MILLS, KANKAKEE, ILL.

DEAR ROSALIE: What a lovely tribute. You are blessed with a daughter-in-law who considers you to be a treasure, and from the tone of your letter, it's obvious the feeling is mutual. I'm pleased to share this poem.

TO HIS MOTHER

"Mother-in-law" they say, and yet,

Somehow I simply can't forget

'Twas you who watched his baby ways,

Who taught him his first hymn of praise,

Who smiled on him with loving pride,

When he first toddled by your side.

"Mother-in-law" but oh, 'twas you

Who taught him to be kind and true;

When he was tired, almost asleep,

'Twas to your arms he used to creep.

And when he bruised his tiny knee,

'Twas you who kissed it tenderly.

"Mother-in-law" they say, and yet,

Somehow I never shall forget

How much I owe

To you, who taught him how to grow.

You trained your son to look above,

You made of him the man I love.

And so I think of that today

When with thankful heart I'll say,

"Our Mother."

-- ANONYMOUS

DEAR ABBY: For the second time, I have read the little verse in your column about singing to our little ones: "Richer than I you will never be, I had a mother who sang to me."� The verse makes me cry, but I am so happy that I was able to do that for my daughter. She was my only child, and I always sang to her while she was growing up.

She developed cancer in her 50s, and I was by her bedside for many months. She would ask me to sing to her when she was in pain and could not sleep. I would sing the beautiful old hymns, and when she was dying I was given the strength to sing softly to her.

The sadness will always be with me, but I have some great memories. -- MARY E. MATHEWS, ANTIOCH, TENN.

DEAR MARY: Please accept my sincere sympathy for the tragic loss of your daughter. Be assured the sound of her mother singing familiar melodies brought her great comfort during her last days.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)