DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I eloped last January. We arranged for a minister, rented the tux, got the gown, printed 300 announcements, and told everyone we were going on "vacation." We planned it for months and told no one. I'm 31 years old and had never been married. After the ceremony, we mailed the announcements and went about enjoying our honeymoon.

We returned home to a house full of gifts and well wishes. Both sets of parents were very pleased, and everyone couldn't have been more supportive -- except for two people. Ironically, they are the twosome who introduced us, my husband's friend "Morris" and his live-in girlfriend, "Doris."

They are no longer speaking to my husband and me because they are hurt that they were excluded from our plans. They feel we betrayed them and claim we lied and deceived them.

A few nights before we left for Florida, my husband was out with the "guys." Morris pulled him aside and flat-out asked him if we were going away to get married. Because our plans were private and not meant to be shared until after we returned from our trip, my husband told him "no."

I hate to lose a friendship over something like this. Do you think we were obligated to tell them our plans? -- WONDERING IN WILMINGTON, DEL.

DEAR WONDERING: No, I do not. Just because Morris and Doris introduced you does not mean they own you as a couple. You were not obligated to reveal your plans to elope.

DEAR ABBY: I am an 81-year-old male senior citizen and would like to comment on the letter that mentioned nude beaches. I am very familiar with them and also with nudist camps.

Nudism must be good for the eyesight because I have never seen a blind nudist. A nudist camp is where married couples air their differences and, when they disagree, they barely speak. As a matter of fact, one married couple broke up because they were seeing too much of each other.

Did you know that nudists peel first and get sunburned afterward?

A lawyer joined a nudist colony, and he hasn't had a suit since. One nudist was picked up as a suspect, but the police had to let him go because they couldn't pin anything on him.

I visited a nudist colony one time and, as I drove in, I stripped my gears. The only other time I had anything to do with nudism was when I stayed at a nudist lodge. (I think it was called the Bareskin Lodge.) There were no clothes closets and all of the rooms had sudden exposure. It was a short vacation. I was soon asked to leave because my breath came in short pants. -- ED BENDER, ROCHESTER, PA.

DEAR ED: That's better than being asked to leave for displaying your shortcomings.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist." -- Louis Nizer, American lawyer (1902-1994).

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My former friend, "Molly," became engaged and moved away. Before she left, she said I could have her job. After being interviewed, I got the position.

It has been seven months -- and two pay raises -- and now Molly has returned. She's calling the boss and other workers in the office. She got kicked out of her boyfriend's house and needs her job back. She's really turning up the pressure. She won't talk to me because she knows how upset I am.

My question: Does she deserve to get my job? Or is she being selfish? Am I being selfish? I love my work and very much want to stay. -- WORRIED IN L.A.

DEAR WORRIED: I don't know what arrangement your boss had with Molly when she left. But hold a good thought; your boss may be reluctant to replace an employee who has performed well enough on the job to earn two raises in seven months with someone who sacrificed her career for "love."

DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed your column for years. Thanks for the entertainment each day. You do a great job.

Abby, this is the first time I have written to you, and it's because I disagree with your answer to "Concerned Friend." The reader was concerned that a friend was unhappy because he was single. She said he was too shy to discuss his feelings with her. If that's true, how does she know he's unhappy? I think the reader is projecting her feelings onto her friend.

As a single person, I want my friends to respect me enough to trust that I know what I want from my life. She should give her friend some dignity and realize that if he wants a relationship, he'll pursue one. If he wants his married friends to fix him up, he'll tell them.

You suggested that the reader subtly invite some single females to their group activities. Please, Abby, he would know exactly what she's doing. As a "single," I would find it awkward and embarrassing.

In my circle of friends, some of us are couples and several of us are single. However, my friends respect me enough to leave to me the connecting up with someone if I want that.

Why must people assume that unmarried people are miserable because of their single status? Most of my single friends have homes, careers, hobbies and extended families they enjoy. I know people who try to fix us up are trying to help, but we don't NEED matchmakers. What we need are friends who love and respect us just as we are. -- SHARON FROM CINCINNATI

DEAR SHARON: I'm sure you speak not only for yourself, but for many singles. However, there are also many out there who would love their friends to lend a hand in the matchmaking process. There's nothing wrong with being single if that's what makes you happy, but for those who long to be half a couple, a little help could be the ticket to a partner in a "pair" tree.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "FRUSTRATED IN DELAWARE": Don't let one setback stop you; your community needs you. In the words of Dag Hammarskjold, former secretary-general of the United Nations: "You have not done enough, you have never done enough so long as it is still possible that you have something to contribute."

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Some months ago I wrote to you describing the nightmarish situation of women in Afghanistan, stripped of even the most basic human rights by the Taliban militia. I asked people to join the Feminist Majority's campaign to end this cruel system of gender apartheid.

Reporters told me the reason the Afghan situation had received so little coverage was that their editors thought Americans aren't interested in this kind of news. The Taliban assumed that their treatment of women would be of no consequence to the rest of the world. Even the Afghan women, who thought the people of America were their last hope, were afraid to believe we would speak for them.

Well, Abby, someone forgot to tell that to your readers! To date, well over 45,000 of them have called to join our campaign. And they've made a huge impact.

The State Department tells us that the high volume of mail we have generated is historic. The campaign has received unprecedented bipartisan support, with both conservatives and liberals offering backing and action. The president has met with us to express support for our goals and discuss ways to end gender apartheid. We've also met with United Nations officials who tell us that our campaign has put the issue of gender apartheid on the world stage.

The Taliban are now claiming they have eased some restrictions, allowing SOME home-schooling for girls and SOME segregated hospital wards for women. Those changes are unverified. But, true or not, the fact that the Taliban are making these assertions shows that they now realize the rest of the world has drawn a line in the sand over their denial of human rights to women -- a line the Taliban can no longer pretend not to see.

And, Abby, now the Afghan women themselves know we are speaking out for them and will continue to speak. Radio Free Europe and Voice of America have carried news of our campaign into Afghanistan, and letters have been smuggled out to us from women who are daring to hope again.

I would like to share with your more than 45,000 readers who took up their cause a letter of thanks from a woman in Kabul: "I wish I could cover you with flowers to show how grateful I am. I know I cannot do so. From this prison I can only send you a few drops of my tears as a gift. Let me call you 'the angels of mercy.' Your love is our hope." Though she courageously signed her letter, I can't reveal her name for fear she would be killed.

I hope your readers will join us in keeping up the momentum they helped our campaign to build. Our work is beginning to have world impact. -- MAVIS NICHOLSON LENO, CHAIR, CAMPAIGN TO STOP GENDER APARTHEID IN AFGHANISTAN

DEAR MAVIS: I'm sure my readers will be as thrilled as I am to know that their efforts are having such a profound effect. This is our turn on the stage of history, and for the sake of our children and grandchildren, we must not stand idly by.

Those of you who have been a part of this campaign, and those who are interested in joining in the effort, can make your voices heard by calling the action line: 1-888-WE-WOMEN (1-888-939-6636) or visiting the Web site at www.feminist.org. There are many ways we can help. By taking action now, we can make a difference.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)