DEAR ABBY: I am writing this on behalf of all people who are blind or visually impaired. You would be doing them a service if you would remind your readers that blind people are not "strange" or to be feared; they are ordinary people who, for whatever reason, cannot see.

I do volunteer work with the blind and hear the same stories over and over. I've finally concluded that most sighted people do not understand what blindness is all about. 1. Blindness is not contagious. My students tell me that people frequently back away from them when told they are blind.

2. Blind people are not hard of hearing; you don't have to raise your voice when you speak to them.

3. There are different degrees of visual impairment. Some have lost their peripheral vision, but can see straight ahead; others have only peripheral vision, while others have cloudy vision and can see only in bright light. Still others are totally blind.

4. Blind people cannot drive a car, but they can do just about everything else a sighted person can do, if given the chance.

The public needs to be educated on the white-cane laws. Only those with a visual impairment are allowed to carry white canes, and motorists are required to stop for anyone carrying one.

Guide dogs and service dogs, those wonderful creatures who give independence to the blind and other disabled people, are to be respected. DON'T try to pet one when it is in harness. They don't bite, but by distracting the dog, the owner may be put in harm's way. If you feel you must pet one, ask permission first! And parents, for heaven's sake, teach your children never to pet the dogs. I have seen young children rush up to a guide dog and hug it.

Thank you, Abby, for spreading the word. -– EILEEN PARLEE, CATHEDRAL CITY, CALIF.

DEAR EILEEN: Thank you for a letter brimming with helpful information. There are many agencies nationwide that work with people who are blind or have a visual impairment. I would urge anyone who knows someone who has lost his or her sight to encourage that person to seek training so he or she can live independently. It can be done, and is being done.

DEAR ABBY: With reference to the letter about the 57-year-old grandmother raising a 7-year-old grandchild, let me tell you a wonderful story:

A young mother died giving birth to her third daughter. There was no one in the family to take the three girls, ages 6, 3 and 6 weeks old, into their homes. The great-grandmother came forward and took care of all three little girls. She was 83 years old at the time. How do I know this story is true? The 6-week-old child was my neighbor.

The great-grandmother lived until she was 99. So, Abby, all things are possible with the help of God. -– DELORIS ROBINSON, DENVER

DEAR DELORIS: Thank you for an inspirational letter. I have received many letters over the years from people asking, "Abby, am I too old to ...?" Your letter proves that if the desire and determination are strong enough, no one is too old.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: This letter is in response to "Wm. T. Elliott" and his suggestion that "small children should have a whistle tied around their necks when they go on picnics and camping."

Abby, please accept this important reminder to parents: ANY cord, string, necklace or tie around a child's neck could KILL if accidentally snagged by a tree, bush, fence, swing, etc. Parents should really protect little ones by PINNING or CLIPPING on that whistle! –- A CONCERNED PARENT AND PHYSICIAN, TORRANCE, CALIF.

DEAR CONCERNED: I apologize for letting that slip by. You are not the only reader who hastened to point it out. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I agree that supplying a whistle for small children who are camping is a good one. However, since tying anything around the neck of a small child is a strangulation hazard, it would be better to securely attach it to a zipper pull, belt loop or shirt.

When my four children were small, I also laced a small ID tag onto their shoe for family outings -– zoos, hikes, etc. –- in case the child was too frightened or injured to give vital information. Nowadays you can have bracelets made up for that purpose. –- MARY ELLEN HANRAHAN, LYNNWOOD, WASH.

DEAR MARY ELLEN: Thank you for the input. A reader in Clackamas, Ore., also suggests that providing older children with walkie-talkies on camping trips is a good precaution in case they become separated from the family for any reason. That way the child can be heard from more than a mile away.

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing the letter from "Wm. T. Elliott" about the importance of carrying a whistle while camping.

Abby, a safety whistle should be carried not only while camping or in the woods, but at all times. Boaters carry whistles in case the power goes out and they are stranded. College students carry whistles for safety on campus. The elderly carry whistles in case they are attacked or are physically unable to call for help.

The American Whistle Corp., where I work, is the only manufacturer of metal whistles in the United States. We frequently receive letters from people relating how they have been saved by blowing their whistle while lost in the woods or while being mugged. Our most recent survival story came from a man who was having a heart attack and was unable to yell. He was, however, able to blow his whistle to get attention.

Once again, Abby, your column has been an instrument in saving lives. Thank you. -– JENNIFER BLACKBURN, COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR JENNIFER: I am sure many people will find your letter of interest. I am pleased to "blow the whistle" for safety. I have carried a whistle on my key ring for many years.

DEAR ABBY: My friends of many years and I are planning a special beach trip to celebrate a friendship that began in the late '50s in elementary school.

We are big fans of yours and would like to know if you have any words about friendship that you could share with us. It would be an honor and a thrill to hear from you. -– THE YA-YAS

DEAR YA-YAS: Friendship is a gift to be cherished. The way to have a good friend is to BE one!

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a middle-aged man in my 40s. I have been married twice. Both marriages ended in divorce. I have a teen-age daughter from my first marriage.

Abby, I have not dated since my last marriage. It's not that I'm ugly; it's just that I was hurt very badly. I do not enjoy life, and I cannot seem to find happiness anywhere.

What can I do to live it up a little and find the happiness that I have been looking for? I don't need someone in my life to be happy, but my life is so routine -– I need a CHANGE. Any suggestions would be helpful. -– BORED IN ROANOKE, VA.

DEAR BORED: The best antidote for boredom is to do something for someone else. It's the front-door key to fulfillment!

Explore volunteer opportunities in your city. Look in the telephone directory under the heading of "Volunteer Services," join a service club, or make inquiries at your library, your local hospital or seniors' center.

Another suggestion: Take a vacation and visit someplace you have never been. Travel, even day trips, provides a stimulating change of scene.

Don't forget to tell your friends, neighbors and relatives that you are interested in meeting someone.

Try any or all of the above and you'll be on the road to the happiness you seek.

DEAR ABBY: I'm sending this in response to "Sad Father in Connecticut." Many of us who have lost a child have felt the sting of insensitive people. The enclosed poem by Rita Moran was printed in "The Compassionate Friends" newsletter in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. Feel free to share it if you wish. –- NANCY LEFFEL, BEREAVED MOTHER, FORT LAUDERDALE, FLA.

DEAR NANCY: Thank you for sending the poem. Many people feel awkward about expressing their sympathy to families who have experienced a loss. Rita Moran's poem not only contains a strong message, it also offers helpful advice for those who don't know what to say. Read on:

PLEASE, don't ask me if I'm over it yet.

I'll never be over it.

PLEASE, don't tell me she's in a better place.

She isn't here with me.

PLEASE, don't say at least she isn't suffering.

I haven't come to terms with why she had to suffer at all.

PLEASE, don't tell me you know how I feel,

Unless you have lost a child.

PLEASE, don't ask me if I feel better.

Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.

PLEASE, don't tell me at least you had her for so many years.

What year would you choose for your child to die?

PLEASE, don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.

PLEASE, just say you are sorry.

PLEASE, just say you remember my child, if you do.

PLEASE, just let me talk about my child.

PLEASE, mention my child's name.

PLEASE, just let me cry.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)