DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "Ruth in Virginia Beach," about long-winded people accepting awards. There is another solution. Write a letter! Don't know the address? That's OK. There's bound to be a Web site for either the group or the record label they record for. You don't even have to use an envelope or a stamp anymore. Use e-mail.

It's time for those of us who provide paychecks for the stars to let them know what we think. I hear people complain about all the sex and nudity in films. Write a letter! There is a Web site for just about every film out there. Let's start letting our feelings be known.

Don't have a computer? Not on the Internet? Go to the library or an Internet cafe. I never used to write because I never knew the addresses. Now, it takes less than 15 minutes to get online, find a site and send a letter.

On the other hand, let's also be sure to write letters when we are really pleased with something. I believe if more people start sending letters, those who produce, direct, record, etc., will start paying attention. -- SUZETTE BOUCHER, SPANAWAY, WASH.

DEAR SUZETTE: I agree with you. A letter-writing campaign can be a powerful force for achieving change. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Ruth W., Virginia Beach" suggested in her letter that program committees should make rules that would prevent microphone hogs from going on and on.

One story tells of a committee that did this, telling the master of ceremonies to warn speakers that if they went past the allotted time, they would be mowed down with a sharp bang of the gavel.

The warning didn't register with one windbag, and the committee members signaled the emcee to gavel the person off the dais. He took up the gavel, but in his nervous state about performing such a gutsy move, he gave the person sitting next to him a mighty blow on the head. The injured man was heard to say, as he slipped under the table, "Hit me again. I can still hear him talking." -- BERNARD BRUNSTING, STUART, FLA.

DEAR BERNARD: Thanks for the laugh. That's an unusual cure for a pain in the neck -- and in the future, if I'm sitting next to the emcee and see him or her reach for the gavel, I'll duck.

DEAR ABBY: I have noticed the discussion of using whistles for safety and thought I had better write to you.

My daughter had one with her the other night and when I tried to blow it, she told me it didn't work anymore. It was a full-size, chrome-plated brass, police-style whistle. Upon closer examination, I noticed it had lint in the throat from carrying it around. I used a toothpick to clean it out and, lo and behold, it nearly broke our eardrums!

Abby, you would be wise to remind people to TEST these things periodically. I, for one, did not realize that maintenance was necessary. -- RALPH E. FLORI SR., CAPE GIRARDEAU, MO.

DEAR RALPH: Neither did I -- until you and a few other caring individuals wrote to point it out. One of them also cautioned that the little ball inside the whistle can sometimes deteriorate, rendering it useless, so it's a good idea to check the whistle periodically.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I hope you can help me, although it's my husband who needs help. "John" is a wonderful husband and father. I love him dearly. When he was in high school, he was always picked on by the jocks. (We all know that story.) Well, John carried this on into his adult life and his business.

My husband has two partners. "Gene" is a "nerd" like John. The other one, "Don," is the "jock." The company is 10 years old. They made about $5 million last year. All three have equal shares of this company.

Don handles all of the accounting. He keeps his door locked at all times when he's not there, as he should because of all the checks, etc. But does he leave an extra key for Gene or John? No! He leaves it with the secretary, and she takes it home with her. Don gets very upset if John or Gene goes into his office without his permission.

The way Don has his accounting program set up, John and Gene cannot access any financial information on the company. They have to go through him first. I strongly suspect Don is embezzling.

They have never had an audit done. John and Gene wouldn't dare insist on one, because Don would get furious if they did. Don gets upset over the most minor things. Gene and my husband are afraid of Don. They've caught him in several lies. He treats everybody like dirt. They fight and argue on a daily basis. It's a terrible atmosphere. Yet they won't do anything about it.

Any suggestions? -- DEPRESSED IN TEXAS

DEAR DEPRESSED: The three partners should get together and agree to have an independent C.P.A. (selected by all three) set up their accounting system so that all three partners can understand what's happening financially, and the necessary security is preserved. If Don refuses to agree to it, then Gene and John should consult a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: Today, 14 days short of his 56th birthday, we buried my beloved younger brother. He died by his own hand two days before his first scheduled appointment with a psychiatrist. He had been referred by the general practitioners who had been treating him for the past two months.

Bipolar or manic depressive disorder has ravaged my family for many generations. It is, indeed, an inherited genetic disorder. But there is a wonderful treatment for it -- in the form of lithium carbonate. I can attest to this. I am a diagnosed manic depressive and, thanks to lithium, I have led a normal, productive life for the past 12 years.

If only I had realized how ill my brother was, perhaps I could have gotten him to treatment in time. If only the GPs had realized this was beyond their expertise, perhaps they could have referred him to a psychiatrist earlier and this tragedy could have been averted. If only, if only.

Nothing will bring back my younger brother, but maybe our experience can help someone else. Thank you for letting me vent, Abby. -- GRIEVING BROTHER, TAYLORS, S.C.

DEAR GRIEVING: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the tragic loss of your beloved brother, but take heart in the thought that your letter may save the lives of countless others. People who know there is a history of bipolar disorder in the family should alert their doctors to it. Also, those who are experiencing mood swings should seek a referral to a psychiatrist who can help them restore the balance in their brain chemistry.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing concerning the letter from the woman who was hurt by the way her husband treated her 7-year-old son from a previous relationship. She said the boy's father had no part in her son's life. Let me share my story.

I was a child in a home with a stepfather, stepsisters and stepbrothers. My sisters and I could do nothing right; the other kids could do no wrong. I got pregnant at 19, and my boyfriend said he would marry me, but he "might just leave" in a year or two. I chose to go it alone. During my pregnancy, I lived at home and endured more verbal abuse from my stepfather.

When my daughter was born, I went to work, paid my hospital and doctor bills and moved out. I resolved never to marry so my beautiful little girl would never endure what I had endured. And then along came "Jack."

He took us to movies, took us to play miniature golf; he took us fishing, and he won our hearts. When I agreed to marry him, his next words were, "Let's see what it would take for me to adopt 'Michele.'" A year later, our other daughter was born. At no time in the past 28 years has anyone who did not know that Michele was not Jack's child by birth, ever guessed it. She is his -- in his heart and soul.

We all like to think we would risk our lives to save a stranger from a burning building or a car accident, but most of us will never get the chance. That woman's husband has the chance to be a hero to her young son. It will not happen in one day or in one event. It will take EVERY day for the rest of their lives. Her husband can be a mentor, a teacher, a friend and a daddy -- or he can be a jerk.

When the world talks about heroes, no one from my house needs to look beyond my husband. Will the woman who wrote to you be able to say the same thing? -- PROUD TO BE JACK'S WIFE

DEAR PROUD: You certainly picked a winner when you married Jack. I congratulate you both for having your priorities in order when it came to Michele. You're a lucky family to have each other.

Whether or not the woman who wrote the sad letter that prompted yours will be able to call her husband a "hero" remains to be seen. They had been married for six years before she asked for my advice. I told her to no longer tolerate the situation and to ask her physician for a referral to a family counselor who could not only help straighten out her husband's thinking -- but also help the son rebuild his damaged self-esteem. I hope she took my advice.

DEAR ABBY: Help! I am getting divorced. How do I tell everyone in the office? There are 18 women here and I get along with all of them.

Should I approach them individually? How can I keep it short and sweet? What if someone asks, "What happened?" It's none of their business, but we're a close office. Any suggestions would be appreciated. -- CLAIRE IN FAIRFIELD, N.J.

DEAR CLAIRE: Tell one or two of your co-workers. Believe me, the word will spread like wildfire. If anyone asks for details, just say that you do not want to discuss them because it's too painful. If they're your friends, they will respect your wishes.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)