DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are approaching our fifth wedding anniversary. Apart from the usual problems you encounter in marriage (money, family, etc.), things have been very good. My husband is a loving and attentive man. I love him and feel lucky to have him in my life.

So here's my problem. During the past few years, I have had dreams about my first love whom I met in high school. I was 14 and he was 17. The relationship was wonderful, but because I was so young and due to many problems in my life, our relationship ended after a few years. I am afraid I hurt him terribly. He seemed to never want to give up on "us," but as the years went on we grew apart.

At the age of 21, I attempted a reconciliation with him, but when he found out that I had "been" with another man, it was too much for him to handle. That was the end of us. I seemed to get on with my life and forget about him. I dated, and eventually met my future husband.

Abby, the dreams have become much more intense over the years. At first, my "first love" would appear in an occasional dream. Now I am having dreams where we are getting back together or we are professing our love for each other. One week, I had four dreams four nights in a row. I wake up feeling sad, and I am in a hazy state of mind because I feel I'm being pulled back into the past with a young man I used to love so dearly.

I am confused, and I feel bad because I love my husband and can't bear to tell him the dreams I've been having. I don't want to hurt him. I am hoping this is just a phase that will pass. Any advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated. -- LOST IN A DREAM

DEAR LOST: Romanticizing one's first love is very common. As the years roll by, people tend to minimize the pain and magnify the emotions.

I'm no expert in the interpretation of dreams, but I can tell you this: Dreams are rarely literal. It might be interesting for you to analyze what this man symbolizes in your life.

Since these dreams are recurrent and causing you discomfort, you could greatly ease your mind by discussing them with a psychoanalyst. He or she will be able to help you discover their real meaning and what's causing them.

DEAR ABBY: I am amused by the various opinions about life in recreational vehicles. They brought to mind a conversation I had with a cousin in De Smet, S.D., who owns a general store and restaurant.

When I remarked about the large size of the parking area, he replied that it had to accommodate the number of recreational vehicles during hunting season. I said that I had no desire to own one, and he said that anyone who is thinking about purchasing that kind of vehicle should take the following test:

"Take your wife, children, the dog and cat into your largest bathroom, along with some snacks and beverages. Turn on the shower and stay for two days, and if you enjoy your 'vacation,' buy an RV!"

I took his advice to heart. I now travel in my sedan and stay in hotels. -- ROBERT O. JOHNS, RENO, NEV.

DEAR ROBERT: Your cousin is a wit! In defense of RVs, there are millions of satisfied customers on the roads who can't say enough good things about that mode of travel.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: You recently printed a letter from a reader in Chula Vista, Calif., regarding the "Y2K Hype." While it is indisputable that many are profiting through the Y2K-related sales of merchandise, this is America and, like it or not, when people see a way to make a profit, they are free to take it. We are also free to choose what we purchase.

Thousands of people have gone to great lengths and expense to keep all services, many of which we take for granted, fully operational during the Year 2000 transition. They deserve a standing ovation for their backstage efforts. Hopefully, the sources of any Y2K-related problems will continue to be found quickly and repaired easily.

Both the Red Cross and FEMA have posted emergency preparedness articles on their Web sites with PRACTICAL as well as AFFORDABLE suggestions for all climates. While I agree with the author of the "Y2K Hype" piece (i.e., "stay calm, don't panic, use your head"), proper emergency preparedness can make a world of difference by relieving inconveniences and uncertainty until services are restored. It may even save a life.

No one ever pencils in "possible date with an emergency" on one's calendar, but it makes sense to do so. Jan. 2, 2000, is on the calendar. Why not consider making some preparations -- without the hype?

Since many of the people who need this information may not have access to it via the Internet, here are a few tips from the Red Cross disaster Y2K safety Web site. I hope you'll share it with your readers:

-- Stock supplies such as canned foods, bottled water, instant soups, etc., to last several days.

-- In the event of a power outage, plan to use alternative cooking devices in accordance with the manufacturer's instructions. NEVER use liquid-fueled heating and cooking devices without adequate ventilation.

-- Organize your first aid supplies. This includes prescription as well as nonprescription medications.

-- Have plenty of flashlights and batteries on hand. (If you have small children, keep flashlights available for their personal use and safety.) Do NOT use candles alone for emergency lighting.

-- Plan to use extra blankets, coats, hats and gloves to keep warm, NOT gas-fueled appliances such as an oven.

-- Listen to a battery-operated radio to keep yourself informed. Be prepared to relocate to a shelter for protection or warmth if necessary.

-- Check with the emergency service providers in your community BEFORE an emergency arises, particularly if you or a loved one has special needs. -- PAMELA RYAN, WILMETTE, ILL.

DEAR PAMELA: The essay I printed about Y2K has generated letters from readers who thanked me for it, and others who feel I treated the subject too lightly. For the latter, I will add:

My intuition tells me that for many people, Y2K may be the modern-day version of the backyard bomb shelters of the 1950s -- yet the prudent thing to do is to hedge your bets. Unused supplies can be donated later to charities and food banks that feed the needy. Many families are already "emergency prepared" because they live in areas geographically vulnerable to earthquakes, hurricanes and tornadoes. Those who have not already done so should follow the Boy Scout motto ("Be Prepared") and plan ahead for possible disruptions in the municipal services we take for granted.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I made a serious mistake. We told some friends that we were planning a vacation cruise and when we were going. We always travel alone because who can take another couple 24 hours a day for 12 days? We like to do our own thing our own way.

Well, one couple -- good friends of ours -- casually mentioned they might be joining us and we are horrified at the thought. Where do people get the idea that they can invite themselves on someone else's vacation? We don't want to insult them or cause hurt feelings. How do we tell them that we prefer to travel alone without hurting their feelings? -- HORRIFIED IN FLORIDA

DEAR HORRIFIED: Some people assume they are closer friends than they actually are, and others do not understand boundaries. Waste no time in telling these "good friends" that you use these vacations to PRIVATELY renew the romance in your marriage -- and that as much as you like them, having them along on your vacation would destroy the intimacy. Then cross your fingers.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago you printed a letter from a woman named Elizabeth, concerning your pecan (or walnut) pie recipe. You printed the recipe along with the letter.

I tried out both the pecan and walnut variations on my family. They liked both, but preferred the walnut.

In August, I entered a walnut pie (using your recipe) in the San Mateo County Fair. Abby, it not only took first place, but also won the Judge's Choice Award. (The Judge's Choice Award is first place among the first place winners!) Needless to say, I was thrilled.

Since you did say, "Please let me know how yours came out," I just thought you'd like to know. Thank you, Abby. -- CAROL TULLOH, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR CAROL: My congratulations! I'm delighted that the pecan/walnut pie recipe served you so well. Your letter made my day! The recipe was included in my booklet "Dear Abby's Favorite Recipes" (my first of two cookbooklets). But for those who may not have time to order it before the holidays, here's the recipe:

ABBY'S FAMOUS PECAN PIE

9-inch unbaked pie crust

1 cup light corn syrup

1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar

3 eggs, slightly beaten

1/3 cup butter, melted

1/3 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 heaping cup pecan (or walnut) halves

Heat oven to 350 degrees.

Prepare pie crust. In large bowl, combine corn syrup, sugar, eggs, butter, salt and vanilla; mix well. Pour filling into prepared pie crust; sprinkle with pecan (or walnut) halves.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes or until center is set. (Toothpick inserted will come out clean when pie is "done.") Cool. If crust or pie appears to be getting too brown, cover with foil for remaining baking time.

You can top it with a bit of whipped cream or ice cream, but even plain -- nothing tops this! (Serves 8 to 10.)

TIP: The original recipe stated that the pie should be baked 45 to 50 minutes in a preheated 350-degree GAS oven. If an electric oven is used, it may be necessary to add 15 to 20 minutes to the baking time. (Begin testing the pie with a toothpick after 45 minutes.)

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)