DEAR READERS: If you have been reading this column for the last two days, you will have seen that racism is an issue that troubles many of us. Today will be my last in this series.

DEAR ABBY: You can't teach your children to be on the defensive, as one of your black readers wrote, without having these children LOOKING for discrimination. A basic law of physics teaches us that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In life, sometimes there's an overreaction. Our best defenses against discrimination are education, patience, understanding and time. And remember, we educate our children every day, by our words, our deeds, our values -- and most of all -- by our thoughts. -- ANDERSON, S.C., READER

DEAR READER: That's true. Children form their attitudes by watching their parents -- often when the parents don't realize they are being watched. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am a bus driver and have had the opportunity to meet white racists and black racists -- and believe me, there are both.

The vast majority of people are not prejudiced. They are cautious, as well they should be. The whites, blacks, reds and yellows mostly want to just be accepted as another person on this planet.

We aren't going to become color-blind, ethnic-blind or religious-blind just by snapping our fingers and passing a couple of laws. We can only control ourselves, and hope that our own attitude will rub off on those around us. May God have mercy on us if this attitude isn't one of love. -- PROUD MINNESOTAN

DEAR ABBY: Martin Luther King Jr. once said: "People don't get along because they fear each other. People fear each other because they don't know each other. They don't know each other because they have not properly communicated with each other."

We must begin to communicate with each other. No matter how much it hurts or how bad it sounds, we must begin the dialogue of truth, facts, feelings, misunderstanding and understanding. The solutions to all our problems are found in us.

Now is the time to make the decisions necessary to bring about closure and healing. The survival of our nation depends on it. In our homes, at work, at school and in our everyday lives, we must be about destroying the hate that is destroying America. We can never heal the hurt and pain within our nation until we've healed the hurt and pain within ourselves. Removing racism and discrimination from our society must begin with one person at a time. It must start with me -- then with you. -- LARRY D. HARRIS, NORFOLK, VA.

DEAR ABBY: The world is a vastly different place than it once was, although the vestiges of our past remain. The only way to end racism in our society is for each individual to take responsibility for his or her own emotions and actions, and to act in a way that is fair to all concerned. You can find hate in a lot of places -- sometimes without looking very hard. But you can also find friends. -- MICHELLE IN GALVESTON, TEXAS

DEAR MICHELLE: I agree. Regardless of skin color or ethnicity, our aspirations are very similar. We want to be liked and respected as individuals; we want our children to do as well or better than we have. It's the American Dream.

We live in an increasingly diverse society, and if we can value each other and live in harmony it will greatly enrich us. If we cannot, then greed and suspicion will drive us apart. The choice is ours.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Yesterday I began sharing some of the many comments from my readers regarding racism. Today I will continue. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Thomas Anthony Jones Sr. is simply wrong in his statement that "there is no racism in the African-American community in the United States." Is he right when he says that black people are "discriminated against on a daily basis because of ... color"? Absolutely. Does that mean that only people belonging to the historically oppressive group can be labeled as racists? Absolutely not!

The pain of oppression is real and sharp. It shouldn't blind anyone, however, to the plain fact that racists come in all shapes and sizes, and yes, in all colors. You said it best, Abby, in your answer to "Cincinnati Educator": "Racism is never 'OK,' regardless of the skin color of the bigot." -- NEAL SUMMERLIN IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NEAL: To that I will add that racism and prejudice are a cancer of the spirit. They invade and destroy everything they touch. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old Asian-American. Mr. Jones declaring in an absolute statement that there is "no racism in the African-American community in the United States" is simply not true. Unfortunately, I have encountered racism from African-American individuals numerous times.

I fully believe that the majority of African-Americans living in the United States are not racist, but I was extremely annoyed to read about someone declaring that there's none at all. I have noticed in general, whenever race relations are discussed in the U.S., it's always a matter of black or white. I think it's unfair not to include the opinions of other minorities, especially the increasingly growing Hispanic and Asian minorities that are projected to outgrow all other ethnic groups in the coming years. -- JI H. CHONG, CATONSVILLE, MD.

DEAR JI: If your perception is true, I agree with you that it's unfair. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: As a proud Hispanic teen-ager, I found Thomas A. Jones Sr. to be driving in the wrong direction. His so-called "defense philosophy" is merely an excuse for intolerable behavior. His comment, "A black person is always surrounded by whites with racist attitudes," truly aggravated me. He implies that racism is a black-and-white issue when truly it is not.

Mr. Jones should be teaching his children to love, not retaliate. Just because others' beliefs are immoral does not mean that you should make the same mistake. As long as society continues to make this an attack-and-defend situation, how can we ever make any progress? -- KATRINA N. MONTANEZ, ARIZ.

DEAR KATRINA: That's the million-dollar question. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, am African-American, and for Mr. Jones to say there is no racism within the black community is an outright lie. While I cannot deny our country's heritage of slavery and bigotry, to say it is fine for blacks to hate white people because of this is nonsense. I should know. I was once a black militant, filled with hatred. Thankfully the Lord blessed me with eyes to see that my hate was killing me and no one else.

Ignorant people of all races hate with or without cause. It is that simple. The means do not justify the end. -- KIMBLEY M. FORREST, MINISTER, ALIVE MINISTRIES, NEW YORK

DEAR READERS: As you can see, when I told you the comments from readers were terrific, I wasn't exaggerating. I'll have more tomorrow.

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DEAR READERS: After printing letters about racism during the summer, I received an onslaught of mail from readers who wanted to comment. It's a subject about which people are passionate.

I regret that space limitations do not permit me to share all of the terrific letters with you. Read on for a sample:

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to Mr. Jones' and Dr. Wood's replies to the letter from "My Kid's Mom." Dr. Wood claimed that he knew of "no dark-skinned people who believe they are superior to light-skinned people, at least not those living in Western societies," while Mr. Jones claimed "there is no racism in the African-American community."

Are these gentlemen actually serious? One only has to listen to the comedy of Chris Rock or D.L. Hughley, or a speech from Louis Farrakhan, to realize that there is racism in the African-American community.

The only way there can be serious discussion and improvement of race relations in America is if we as citizens refuse to accept ANY racist rhetoric, regardless of the skin color of the speaker. As long as American society accepts racist dogma from white, black, Asian and Hispanic communities, this country will never find peace among her citizens. Only when we can accept this fact and make a conscious effort to root out this aspect of ourselves will we truly end racism once and for all. -- CHRIS HOWELL, ALSO FROM GEORGIA

DEAR CHRIS: I agree with you. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: When our society gets to the point where one discusses race only when talking about genealogy or national origin, and when we begin to describe ourselves as "Americans," and not "something-Americans," then and only then can we make the statement that there is no racism. -- HOPING FOR A NON-RACIST AMERICA

DEAR ABBY: Mr. Jones states that he teaches his kids "to be tough and smart, because a black person is always surrounded by whites with racist attitudes." Mr. Jones should teach them instead to be intelligent and compassionate for the shortcomings of others. Defense mechanisms are no way to deal with real problems.

Teaching to hate because others hate only shows his willingness to sink to someone's level and to conform to racist policies, which only fuels racism. -- CITIZENS FOR AN EQUAL AMERICA, PAXTON, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: I applaud your attempt to cut out the sore from our society by bringing this to the written medium and opening the forum for discussion on the level where we need it -- at our lunchroom tables, our breakfast tables, our dinner tables, because so many people read your column. Thank you! -- PHOENIX READER

DEAR ABBY: Hatred and bigotry should be as equally condemned when it comes from a minority as it is when it comes from the majority. -- D.L. IN S.C.

DEAR ABBY: As an R.N. who has worked in a major city hospital in the United States as well as small hospitals, let me tell you -- there is racism in the African-American community no matter what it's labeled. There is racism between blacks and Asians, blacks and whites, blacks and Hispanics, just as there is for white and other races in these United States. Racism is not just a white evil. It's an all-pervasive, color-crossing evil that debases us all. -- JEANIE, R.N., FORMERLY OF PHILADELPHIA (THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE)

DEAR READERS: Stay tuned; there will be more on this subject tomorrow.

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