DEAR ABBY: There is an explosion of computer-related activities in the photo industry. Between digital cameras, photo restorations and putting pictures onto CDs, business is good.

The downside is the public's lack of important information about printing pictures on their computers. Most of the customers I talk with don't realize that these are not photographs. They are simply ink printed on paper and will fade rapidly. (This includes the paper designed for computer photos.)

What sets real photographs apart is the fact that they go through developer, bleach-fix and stabilizer. This assures that your memories will be around to be handed down to your children, and their children.

Another problem is: Computers crash, and you can lose images forever. Memories of your wedding, children, family gatherings and vacations are priceless. So always shoot some film, or have negatives made from PC photos. We try to educate our customers, but more needs to be done to let the general public know this.

As a professional photographer, and as a dad, I know how important it is for photographs to last for generations. -- THOMAS S. ROBERTSON, PRESIDENT, 1-HOUR PHOTO CORP., OLD BRIDGE, N.J.

DEAR THOMAS: Your letter is sure to be an eye-opener for many who have been lulled into thinking that the new technologies have made sharing pictures as easy as "point and click."

Caveat emptor: Let the buyer beware. A little extra work may be required for families who would like their computer photographs to last a lifetime or beyond. Having negatives made as a backup is a sensible precaution.

DEAR ABBY: This is a long overdue thank-you. Nine years ago, I decided to go back to school to become a teacher. I didn't know if I really wanted to return to school at my age because I would be 40 upon graduating. Then I read a letter in your column about someone in a similar situation. After thinking about your answer to that question, I decided to enroll.

In no time at all, I completed my studies and went to work in a wonderful elementary school with a great staff and precious children. Now I actually enjoy going to work every day.

I'll be forever grateful, Abby, for that little "push" I needed to get me started. If you print this, please do not mention my name, city or state. -- GRATEFUL IN THE GOLDEN WEST

DEAR GRATEFUL: Thank you for an upper of a letter. The item you are referring to was published many years ago -- and for anyone who is unfamiliar with it, here it is! It is a letter that I'm proud to say has changed many lives for the better. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am a 36-year-old college dropout whose lifelong ambition was to be a physician. I have a very good job selling pharmaceutical supplies, but my heart is still in the practice of medicine. I do volunteer work at the local hospital on my time off, and people tell me I would have made a wonderful doctor.

If I go back to college and get my degree, then go to medical school, do my internship and finally get into the actual practice of medicine, it will take me seven years! But, Abby, in seven years I will be 43 years old. What do you think? -- UNFULFILLED IN PHILLY

DEAR UNFULFILLED: And how old will you be in seven years if you don't go to medical school?

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last month you printed a letter from "Hawkeye Gal in San Francisco." In it she talked about clipping a column of yours containing "15 Reasons to Leave Your Lover." It listed the warning signs of an abusive mate. Please, Abby, run it again.

My college-age daughter is unable to recognize the signs of abuse in her relationship with a boyfriend she's been dating. For two years I have watched her give up her interests and her fun-loving, outgoing personality and accept being controlled by manipulation and jealousy. Help! -- AT MY WIT'S END IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WIT'S END: I'm pleased to help. Yours is only one of a stack of more than 100 similar requests on my desk. This was adapted from "Signs to Look for in a Battering Personality," with permission from the Project for Victims of Family Violence, Fayetteville, Ark.

15 REASONS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER,

WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE PERSONALITY

Something's just not right in your relationship, and you can't put your finger on it. So here's some help. If your mate is displaying a combination of these behaviors, then you may have a potential batterer on your hands.

1. A PUSH FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on very strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser pressures the woman for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

2. JEALOUSY: excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.

3. CONTROLLING: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you're late) about whom you talked to, and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

4. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect woman and meet his every need.

5. ISOLATION: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car or try to prevent you from holding a job.

6. BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS AND MISTAKES: The boss, you -- it's always someone else's fault if anything goes wrong.

7. MAKES EVERYONE ELSE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS FEELINGS: The abuser says, "You make me angry" instead of, "I am angry" or, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you." Less obvious is the claim: "You make me happy."

8. HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted, claiming that his feelings are hurt when he is really mad. He'll rant about the injustice of things that are just part of life.

9. CRUELTY TO ANIMALS AND TO CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.

10. "PLAYFUL" USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; says he finds the idea of rape exciting.

11. VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes you, or says blatantly cruel, hurtful things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you up with relentless verbal abuse.

12. RIGID SEX ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.

13. SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Switches from sweetly loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.

14. PAST BATTERING: Admits hitting women in the past, but says they made him do it or the situation brought it on.

15. THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Makes statements like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," and then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really mean it." If he has come this far, it is time to get help, or get out!

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have just returned from a visit with my older brother. It was the first time we had seen each other in years. Thank God he had the integrity to call me as soon as he realized how much he had hurt and offended me during our last meeting. An aunt had told him how I felt after I cried on her shoulder.

He called, told me how sorry he was, and thanked me for taking the call. When we got together, I discovered that he, too, was angry about something I had completely forgotten. I didn't even remember what it was that he had said or done that angered me; I just knew I was angry. We lost many years because of our lack of communication.

Abby, please tell your readers to pick up the phone and call the one with whom they are angry and talk about it. Start with, "I am sorry and I miss you."

It doesn't matter who did or said what to whom. If you love the person with whom you are angry, make the call and work it out. -- CASSIDY IN VENTURA, CALIF.

DEAR CASSIDY: I agree. One should never hesitate to make the call to mend fences with a loved one. Communication, coupled with love, is the beginning of forgiveness.

This week is International Forgiveness Week, and I urge all my readers to be forgiving. It's not as hard as it seems if you're willing to put your pride aside and make that call.

Robert Muller said it very well. Read on:

DECIDE TO FORGIVE

Decide to forgive

For resentment is negative

Resentment is poisonous

Resentment diminishes

And devours the self.

Be the first to forgive,

To smile and to take the first step,

And you will see happiness bloom

On the face of your human brother or sister.

Be always the first.

Do not wait for others to forgive

For by forgiving

You become the master of fate

The fashioner of life

The doer of miracles.

To forgive is the highest,

Most beautiful form of love.

In return you will receive

Untold peace and happiness.

Readers, I offer a "schedule" for achieving a forgiving heart:

SUNDAY: Forgive yourself.

MONDAY: Forgive your family.

TUESDAY: Forgive your friends and associates.

WEDNESDAY: Forgive across economic lines within your own nation.

THURSDAY: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nation.

FRIDAY: Forgive across political lines within your own nation.

SATURDAY: Forgive other nations.

Only the brave know how to forgive. A coward never forgives. It is not his nature.

A final thought -- and a favorite quotation of mine. It's a line from George Roemisch's poem "Forgiveness": "Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it."

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)