DEAR ABBY: The letter from "In Limbo in Washington" prompted me to write. I, too, was widowed suddenly several years ago. Because of my strong church upbringing, I mistakenly believed that a church would be a safe place to meet stable, good "Christian" men.

Wrong! The men I met in church were as fallible as those I met anywhere else.

I encountered men who were just like those I would have met in any singles club or bar every day except Sunday, and "barracudas" trolling for victims. The majority of them were either retired or unemployed, and looking for a "sugar mama" to support them or supplement their income. If they were still unmarried in their 40s, there was usually a very good reason for it.

One of my friends from church had been engaged to a fellow from the group who pestered her for sex prior to their marriage. When she finally gave in, he treated her with such disrespect and disgust that she ended the relationship -- considering it a valuable lesson learned.

I briefly dated a fellow who, after my constant questioning about his marital status, finally admitted he was only "separated" and was looking for a lady to "help him make up his mind" as to whether he wanted to divorce his wife or not!

Then there was the desperate jewelry designer with the ego problem who had more earrings and piercings in his ears than I did; the gay man trying to find a woman to marry to convince his elderly parents he wasn't gay; and finally, the fellow who thought he was the reincarnation of a 15th-century pope. They were all loyal churchgoers. I also met men who thought I would be vulnerable and easy-pickings because I was a young widow. They found out differently.

So, where did I finally meet my handsome, sweet husband? We met at a local dance bar when I was so disgusted I was ready to join a convent even though I am not Catholic.

Please, Abby, warn single women not to automatically assume that all churchgoers are honest, upstanding citizens. They are human, just like the rest of us. Also, tell "Limbo" to dump that charming -- but still married -- S.O.B. because the minute she's out of the picture, he'll find another victim. Men like that don't change. -- NO NAME, NO CITY, NO CHURCH

DEAR NO, NO, NO: Your experience proves the truth of something I've said before that bears repeating. A church is not a museum for saints -- it's a hospital for sinners. Because a man is seated in the pew next to you at 10 o'clock on Sunday morning doesn't guarantee that he's 100 percent virtuous. It simply means he's usually more sober than one you'll meet in a bar at 10 o'clock on Saturday night.

DEAR ABBY: I read the item you printed saying that if the three wise men had been women, they would have asked for directions, arrived on time, cleaned the stable, helped deliver the baby, made a casserole and brought practical gifts.

What B.S.! They would have first gone to the beauty salon, had a wash, set and manicure, then home to pick out a proper outfit. Then they would have changed the outfit five times, called everybody they knew to yak about the trip, and arrived late. VERY late. -- STAN GERSHBEIN, FORT LAUDERDALE, FLA.

DEAR STAN: Spoken like a true male chauvinist. However, you may have been topped by Paul Harvey. He said what would REALLY have happened was that halfway to the oasis, the camel would have broken down because no one remembered to check his water level.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter about the husky dog who jumped from the back of a pickup truck into traffic. Here is our story:

We were camping Memorial Day weekend three years ago. Our dogs were tied up on short leashes in the back of our pickup truck. One of them climbed onto our cooler next to the side of the truck and fell out. The collar slipped over her head and she went under the wheel of the truck. When we got to her, she was still alive, but barely.

We drove 20 miles to the police station in Payson, Ariz. They called a vet at his home and gave us directions to his office. That wonderful man tried valiantly to save her, but couldn't. Her death still haunts us.

Needless to say, none of our dogs ride in the back of our truck anymore. I am now a volunteer for the Arizona Humane Society. Please, Abby, tell your readers to treat their pets as they would want to be treated. Pets are our friends. -- KAREN IN TEMPE, ARIZ.

DEAR KAREN: I'm printing your letter in the hope that the tragedy which befell your dog will discourage other dog owners from transporting their pets in the back of pickup trucks. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to the letter regarding people who allow their dogs to ride unprotected in the back of their pickups. I believe in divine justice. When these people go before their maker on Judgment Day, they will be sentenced to ride aimlessly in the back of a flatbed truck over bumpy back roads, wondering when the devil at the wheel will make his next sharp turn.

Remember, each of us will be judged by how we treated the least of God's creatures. -- ALLEN IN EMORY, TEXAS

DEAR ALLEN: If common sense doesn't rule, then perhaps your letter will scare careless or thoughtless pet owners into doing the right thing: keeping their dogs safely inside the cab of their trucks and out of harm's way. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have another story to add to the one about the dog that nearly didn't survive a ride in the back of a pickup.

We have two sons, one of whom owns a pickup truck. One Saturday night a few months ago, they were headed downtown. Our oldest son jumped in the back of the truck while his brother and their buddy sat in the cab. His brother had to swerve to avoid an accident, and our son in the back flew out of the pickup at 65 mph on the highway!

Every time I think of that night and what could have happened, I am grateful to God. My son survived with only minor fractures and lots of road burn. He is now back to work and is one lucky young man.

Our sons learned a hard lesson, but animals do not have a choice whether or not to ride in the back of the truck.

Abby, please stress to your readers to THINK before they allow riders -- human or animals -- in the back of their trucks. They may not be as fortunate as we were. -- GRATEFUL MOM IN TEXAS

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Over the years you have printed many letters about the importance of telling the people you care about that you love them.

About four years ago, I took heed. When talking to my dad, with whom I was very close, I closed with, "I love you, Daddy." He seemed surprised, and then responded, "I love you, too, honey." From then on, every time I ended a conversation with my dad, we had the same exchange.

My dad went to sleep in his home last Nov. 26 and didn't wake up. I want you to know how grateful I am that you woke me up. You have no idea how comforting it is to know the last words we said to each other were those of love. Thank you, Abby, for waking me up before it was too late. -- BONNIE BARNETT, IRVING, TEXAS

DEAR BONNIE: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved father. I may have given you the message, but you had to be receptive and ready to hear it and take action.

It takes only a moment to say, "I love you," or to express appreciation. And as important as the spoken word is, the written word can be enjoyed over and over again. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The New Orleans reader who commented on a letter to a catering company brought back memories. Our son was active in a church youth group that needed an electrical modification in the room the group was using. He asked an electrical contractor in the church to do the work and later offered to pay. The contractor told him the work was gratis. Our son then wrote him a letter of thanks.

Two weeks later the contractor died of a heart attack. I spoke to his widow at the funeral. She told me her husband actually cried when he got my son's letter. He had done dozens of small jobs gratis at the church and was usually thanked with a word -- but that was the only time he ever got a letter of thanks.

Our son is now chairman of the department of religious studies at a large university. He certainly learned the importance of a written note. -- PAUL A. MILLER, WICHITA, KAN.

DEAR PAUL: You sound like a proud parent -- and you have every right to be. You raised an intelligent and considerate son.

DEAR ABBY: Many of us in our office are wondering about something that happened at our office Christmas luncheon. All the employees were given a $35 gift certificate for food from a local grocery store. We were then encouraged to give it to a local charity (no pressure, of course). A box was provided at the door for us to drop off our gift certificates for those less fortunate than ourselves.

We think it is inappropriate to give a gift and then suggest that it be donated. What do you think? -- THE OFFICE GANG

DEAR OFFICE GANG: I agree with you. Once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient to do with as he or she pleases. Regardless of how gently it was done, for a boss to "encourage" the employees to forgo the gift and make a donation was still arm-twisting. I'm all for charity -- but not when it's done in that manner.

DEAR ABBY: In response to "Sensitive Nose in Garden Grove, Calif.," who complained because his seatmate on a plane wore too much perfume, I would like to share some advice my older sister gave me when I was a teen-ager.

I'm not sure who said it originally, but here's the quote: "A scent is not to be announced, but to be discovered." It's a guideline I use to this day when I apply my perfume. -- DIANE IN OMAHA

DEAR DIANE: I agree 100 percent with that philosophy. And it applies to men as well as women.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)