DEAR ABBY: I never married, but I have a 5-year-old daughter. It has been two years since I moved from my hometown and I haven't had a single date here.

I started a new job last August, where I met a man I'll call "Tony." I have not stopped thinking about him since the day we met. Call me crazy, but I think he may be attracted to me as well. He has flirted with me on many occasions, and I see something in his eyes every time he looks at me. I am no fool, Abby. I know when a man is interested.

The problem is, he has not asked me out except for a few lunches. In the five months I've known him, he has been out of the country for 2 1/2 months.

I am usually shy, but I confess I did flirt a little to let him know I was interested. However, I didn't want to appear desperate. He is very shy, too, but I feel deep in my heart that he cares. I have grown fond of him and would like to get to know him better. I know that I can't just ask him out, but I feel there is something special between us. What should I do? -- FEELING AWKWARD IN ONTARIO

DEAR FEELING AWKWARD: Unless there is a company policy that forbids co-workers from dating, I see no reason why you shouldn't ask him to join you for lunch on a weekend or dinner one evening. It's leap year -- so go for broke!

DEAR ABBY: Will you please answer a simple question? Why do grooms (husbands) always think it is the responsibility of the bride (wife) to write the thank-you notes? Moreover, why do they not know how to write thank-you notes?

I love my husband, but I'm about to wring his neck. By the way, he sees himself as a writing expert and a master of the English language, so it's not because he's illiterate; he just seems lost when it comes to doing this chore. I have heard that this is the case with most men. -- CURIOUS

DEAR CURIOUS: There is absolutely no excuse for someone who is literate not to be able to write a simple thank-you note. Your husband may have been raised in a male-dominated household where writing thank-you notes was considered "women's work." However, this is the year 2000 and times have changed.

The responsibility does not belong solely on your shoulders. Divide the "chore" and have him write to your side of the family while you write to his. Consider it just another way to blend the families.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married this summer. She will graduate from college in May from a school in Texas. We live on the West Coast where the wedding will take place. Her fiance lives in Arizona where they will make their home.

The problem is they don't have the money to ship gifts to Arizona. I was wondering if it would be proper to ask people to take a picture of the gift they intended to buy, and wrap it in a box along with a check so my daughter can purchase the item when she arrives in Arizona. Is that tacky? Please advise. -- PLANNING A WEDDING

DEAR PLANNING: It would be improper to bring up the subject of monetary gifts, even if it is "prettied up" by requesting that the guests enclose a photo of the gift they had in mind.

However, if you are asked what your daughter needs or prefers, you may respond by explaining that a check would be the most practical gift.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Will you please reprint this letter? My wife and I have saved it for many years. If it helps some young ladies, we will be happy. -- ROBERT KLIPPEL, SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ROBERT: The letter you sent appeared in my column on Dec. 11, 1991, and I'm pleased to run it again.

DEAR ABBY: I wrote you in June about my 13-year-old daughter. (I told you she was getting dangerously close to the boyfriend she had been seeing morning, noon and night.)

I took your advice and spoke to her about sex. I purchased at the local drugstore several forms of birth control (condoms, contraceptive sponge and vaginal suppositories). I also bought something called a "teen pack." It contained several trial-size items introducing young females to such things as tampons, mini-pads, maxi-pads, shaving lotion and razors for shaving legs. When I got home I invited my daughter to join me at the kitchen table. My husband was working late that night, so it was a perfect opportunity for girl talk.

I lined up the contraceptive devices on the table. I gave her the teen pack, telling her that all the items in that package were things that we had previously discussed. Then I pointed to the other items that we needed to talk about.

I carefully explained to her that now she had become a young woman having a monthly period, she could become pregnant if she had sex. I then told her that I was in no way condoning sex in someone as young as she, but that I wanted her to be informed. I then took each product and explained how it was used, and showed her the directions and how to check the expiration date on the product. After that, I opened each package and let her touch the device, examine it and ask questions.

I made sure that she was aware that even if she was on the birth control pill, it would not prevent sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS. I told her that safe sex with condoms could not guarantee the prevention of pregnancy and disease, and the only way to ensure not getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease was not to have sex.

I then took the remaining products and placed them in a box in her bathroom closet. I told her I would not check the box, but if she ever felt a need to experiment, they would be there. I stressed that she could always come to me before making any decisions that would change her life forever.

I made some important points to her that truly hit home: I pointed out that she was too young to obtain a driver's license, too young to drink, too young to get a job, and too young to be responsible for the life of another human being. I reminded her that if she were to have a child, her education and social life would cease until such time that she could afford a baby sitter.

Abby, I realize this letter is long, but I wanted you to know how I dealt with this issue. After our talk, my daughter has been a different person!

I trust my daughter, and your advice was a big help in dealing with a very difficult situation. I realize that I have a long way to go in completing the journey through her teen years, but I believe that we, as a family, will survive. -- NORTH DAKOTA MOM

DEAR MOM: Thank you for writing. Every daughter should have a mother like you!

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My mother remarried two years ago. "Bart" is good to her; however, he drives me and my husband absolutely up the wall. He's a compulsive talker, and he belittles my brother whenever he can. He also makes inappropriate comments about sex. They are not directed at me, but he gives me information about my mother and him, which makes me very uncomfortable.

Now he is bad-mouthing my mother to my husband and telling my husband not to tell me, because he knows I will tell my mother.

They have started pressuring us to go on vacation with them for a solid week. I can't bear the thought of it. My husband doesn't want to go either, and he says I should not tell my mother how I feel -- just avoid her husband as much as possible.

Abby, I think I should level with her, but how do I go about it without breaking her heart? -- HURTING IN OTTUMWA, IOWA

DEAR HURTING: Dodging your stepfather is not a solution. You are overdue for a frank talk with your mother. Tell her everything you have told me. Her husband's comments are clearly inappropriate, and the situation won't change unless she's made fully aware of how and why he's driving people away.

DEAR ABBY: The letter in your column about complimenting employees when they do a good job brought back many memories for me. I am a senior citizen now, retired -- but it brought a smile to my face.

Twenty-six years ago, I went to work for an optometrist. I was working there for about a month, when I received a note from him telling me about the excellent job I was doing and thanking me. That note meant so much to me; it also motivated me to try to do even better.

People are always quick to criticize. How wonderful it would be if all people would give praise when it is due. -- LENORE SHANKMAN, STRATFORD, CONN.

P.S. Two years after I started the job, the optometrist and I were married!

DEAR LENORE: That's high praise, indeed, for a job well done. It's a smart employee who makes herself indispensable. I'm glad that your boss only had eyes for you!

DEAR ABBY: Your letters about husbands doing things for their wives sparked my interest. Not only does mine open doors, he does the laundry, goes shopping -- and does a very good job of it.

He takes me out to dinner each and every payday, sweeps, mops the floors and shampoos the carpets, and keeps the yard beautiful. He does NOT mess in my flowerbeds, however. That's my baby.

He can't cook, but that's OK because I love to cook.

We are in our 50s and we leave love notes all over the house. He always kisses me goodbye on his way out the door to work -- whether I'm asleep or awake.

I hear of so much family violence, I'm very happy and consider myself a lucky woman. In this imperfect world, I got the almost perfect man. -- A HAPPY COUPLE IN MISSOURI

DEAR HAPPY COUPLE: My congratulations to you both. My column is usually a trouble-dump. But with the exception of the series of letters I have printed about acts of kindness, I don't know when I've enjoyed printing letters more than those I've received from couples who take the time to express their love for each other. Perhaps they will provide inspiration to couples who need it.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)