DEAR ABBY: I am engaged to a wonderful man whom I adore, but I have a problem I haven't seen in your column. He gave me his grandmother's ring as an engagement ring. I didn't want to ruin the moment and tell him that I preferred to wear my deceased mother's rings that my father was keeping for my marriage. The sentiment and style make them precious to me.

Would it be wrong for me to ask my fiancee to allow me to wear my mother's rings rather than his grandmother's? I realize this is an unusual request, but I am the one who will be wearing the rings daily. Your advice would be appreciated. -- TOO MANY RINGS IN ARIZONA

DEAR TOO MANY RINGS: No, it is not wrong to ask your fiancee how he would feel about your wearing your mother's rings -- if you ask tactfully. Tell him how honored you are that he wants you to have his grandmother's ring, and offer to wear it on your right hand. If the idea seems to bother him, perhaps you could have your mother's rings sized and wear them as a pinky ring, have the diamonds placed in a pendant to wear on a chain around your neck, or have the rings made into a pin.

Chances are that as long as you plan to wear his grandmother's ring, he'll agree to your wearing your mother's rings on your left hand since they mean so much to you.

DEAR ABBY: Please print this so my daughter-in-law will read it.

As the mother of the man you married, I grieve over what may happen in the future.

When my son married you, he took you and your child into his heart. He has a big heart. He expressed to me how happy he was with his family and how he hoped that someday he would also be a father to his own child.

You have been married three years, and because of your age, your biological clock is running out. There appears to be no sign of another child in the picture.

I grieve that he will never know the joy of having a child call him Daddy. Your child calls him by his first name.

I grieve that he will never know the joy of walking his daughter down the aisle or seeing his son marry.

I grieve that he will never know the greatest joy of having his own grandchildren.

Most of all, I grieve that you do not really love my son enough to make the ultimate sacrifice of bearing a child for him. -- GRIEVING IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR GRIEVING: Your desire for a child for your son is understandable, but I hope that in the future you don't grieve that, because of your intrusiveness, you no longer have a close relationship with your son, daughter-in-law and step-grandchild.

The reason your daughter-in-law is not pregnant is none of your business. There may be medical reasons that you are unaware of, including the possibility that your son's sperm count is too low and he cannot father a child.

Please make your heart as big as your son's, and remember that children are a gift, not a sacrifice!

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: We work for Planned Parenthood and would like to commend you for your continued frank discussion about how important it is that parents talk to their kids about their sexuality. A significant amount of research shows that parents have a great deal of influence on their children's behavior, and no matter how much their teens roll their eyes or stare out the window, they are listening.

"North Dakota Mom" was a great example of how to approach your teen -- with accurate information and a message about your own values in a nonjudgmental, open manner. Sex education has been shown to delay the onset of sexual intercourse, and parents are an excellent source for accurate sex information. Teens also make better decisions when they decide to become sexually active if they have had comprehensive sex education.

One point that is missing is that boys also need these frank discussions about protection, contraception, and how to develop their own value systems. Parents should get the same contraceptive kit to show to their sons.

Condoms and spermicidal gels or foams used together are extremely effective in preventing the spread of sexually transmitted infections (including HIV/AIDS) and unplanned pregnancies. Boys need to know how to put on a condom correctly to reduce the chances of its breaking. They also need to understand that they are equally responsible for keeping both their partner and themselves safe and healthy.

The only surefire way to prevent both disease and pregnancy is abstinence. Many adolescents don't know what "abstinence" means, and they often think that only vaginal intercourse is "having sex."

Thank you again, Abby, for your continued crusade to protect our teens and your confidence that they will make the right decisions when given honest information. -- DEBORAH HOBBINS AND SUSAN CASKEY, MADISON, WIS.

DEAR DEBORAH AND SUSAN: You're welcome. And you are right; I do have confidence in the common sense of young adults. Given the information they need to protect themselves, I have faith they will use it intelligently.

I am in favor of abstinence-based sex education. (To "abstain" means to practice deliberate restraint and/or self-denial in relation to an urge or craving.) However, that should not be the entire message. Sexually mature young adults also need the specifics about how to protect themselves from STDs and pregnancies for which they are not prepared emotionally, financially and sometimes physically.

DERA ABBY: I am 81 years old; my wife is 76. We have been married 52 years. My wife recently decided that we were not having enough "together" time. So she went to her appointment calendar and drew big red hearts around all the Wednesdays. Our Wednesdays are now our together time. We use it to sightsee, to visit a museum or go to the library to research genealogy, to have a picnic or try a new restaurant. But mostly it's just about being together. Every week is beautiful because we have a "heart day" to look forward to. -- LOVING WEDNESDAYS, CHESHIRE, MASS.

DEAR LOVING: I suspect that every week is beautiful because you still have and appreciate each other.

Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: My aunt broke her foot and can't drive, so I have been providing her with taxi service for the last three weeks.

I took her to see a new doctor about shortness of breath. His office was in a lovely new building, and I marveled at the paintings and expensive furniture in his waiting room. I thought about how successful he was, and that engendered confidence in his ability to treat my aunt.

However, when she hobbled into the receptionist's office, the door was left open, and everyone in the waiting room could hear the answers to all the personal questions. Nothing was secret from the captive audience. She tried talking softly, but the receptionist repeated her answers loudly enough that we could all hear them.

Abby, medical information is supposed to be confidential. Had one of the patients demanded that kind of information from the receptionist, she probably would have refused to answer. Because it was for medical records, my aunt felt compelled to answer the questions she was asked. It not only embarrassed her, it also put her in a vulnerable position for identity theft.

Shouldn't medical office personnel be more careful to guard the confidential information of the patients? -- NETTLED NIECE IN NEWARK, N.J.

DEAR NETTLED NIECE: Yes. Care should be taken in keeping medical information confidential, and the receptionist was out of line. Your aunt should have smiled sweetly and said, "That information is confidential. I'll answer your questions when you close the door." Then, when she saw the doctor, she should have reported her complaint, which probably would have been a favor for all the patients.

Since your aunt did not report this lapse of confidentiality procedure by the receptionist, you should speak to the doctor and advise him or her of what you witnessed. It is the doctor's responsibility to ensure that

employees observe protocol to protect patients' rights.

DEAR ABBY: The following little story appeared in our church bulletin last year, and I thought you might enjoy it. If you think it's worth sharing with your readers, please feel free to do so. -- ANITA G., WICHITA, KAN.

DEAR ANITA: Your story illustrates what's really important in life. It's well worth space in this column. Read on:

HOW RICH ARE WE?

One day a father and his rich family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night at the farm of a very poor family. When they returned from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"Very good, Dad!"

"Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.

"Yeah!"

"And what did you learn?"

The son replied: "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden; they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden; they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard; they have a whole horizon."

When the little boy finished speaking, his father was speechless. His son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)