DEAR ABBY: Your column about teen fitness caught my attention. I am a high school sophomore who is involved in sports activities such as swimming, track/cross country and kickboxing. I have been struggling with anorexia and bulimia since my freshman year. It's a serious problem that society needs to address.

My purpose in writing is to thank you and Terrie, the woman whose letter you printed. It meant the world to me, and I'm sure it did to hundreds of other teens. Just knowing someone cared brought tears to my eyes.

If I could offer advice to teens suffering from this disease, it would be this: GET HELP. You are living in a dark, cold world that you shouldn't have to be in. If you can't talk to your parents, then reach out to someone else -- a teacher or school counselor. They're there to help.

Also, don't give up. When things seem at their worst, they can only get better. It helps to remember that there really are people who care and that you're not alone.

After coming to terms with my problem, I went to my mother, who put me into counseling right away. I was also taken to a nutritionist to learn about how to eat healthy. Only then did my recovery begin.

Thank you, Abby. Your column will be displayed in my room for a long time. It's given me strength to get through this. -- NEW JERSEY TEEN ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

DEAR N.J. TEEN: I'm pleased you're recovering. Your letter is sure to raise awareness among other teen-agers. That's important, because our culture -- with help from the media -- tends to glamorize extreme thinness. It's a dangerous goal.

According to the Department of Health and Human Services, one-third of all girls in grades 9 through 12 think that they are overweight, and 60 percent of them say they are trying to lose weight. Nearly half of all teen-age girls skip a meal to control their weight -- and between 3.6 percent and 12.9 percent of young women suffer from one of the three main eating disorders: anorexia nervosa, bulimia or binge-eating. Of all psychiatric disorders, eating disorders have the highest mortality rate -- 10 percent.

Starving is not a proper or effective way to lose weight. Teens who fail to get enough vitamins and minerals in their diet are setting themselves up for osteoporosis in their later years. The most effective way to practice sensible weight control is to talk to your physician or a registered dietitian about what constitutes a healthy, balanced diet; to realize that weight is not put on overnight and it's not lost overnight; and to establish a routine that includes moderate physical activity.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "MAD AT HIS MOM IN PITTSBURGH": "The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." (Submitted by David Broome)

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Alone and in Love," the 19-year-old girl who was devastated when her boyfriend broke up with her, was right on. You said that when someone says, "You deserve better," you should be grateful for their candor because they are probably right.

My sweetheart, "James," and I were together all through high school. After graduation he joined the Marines, and we kept up a long-distance relationship. One night while I was visiting where he was stationed, he told me he wasn't "good enough" for me, but we could still be "great friends." I was devastated. He was my first love. I couldn't picture myself with anyone else.

Then along came "Allen." He was sweet, funny and great company. I told myself that he would be "just a distraction." It turned out that when I was with Allen, I never gave a second thought to James. Allen and I have been together nearly 10 years, married four years, and have two beautiful children. Allen is my soulmate. I would not trade my life with him for anything in this world. I am thankful every day for what James did.

Please tell "Alone" to keep her chin up. It's easier to see true love that way. -- LOVE IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

DEAR LOVE IS: I hope your letter will reassure other readers that when one door closes, another one opens. There's an old saying -- the "hair of the dog" cures a hangover. In many cases, it also can mend a broken heart. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Alone and in Love" brought back memories.

When I was 20, I fell deeply in love. "Chip" told me we would marry as soon as his divorce was final. One week before it was final, he returned to his ex. It turned out Chip couldn't bear to part with his snowmobile, motorcycle and other toys. I, too, was devastated.

Six months later, he had the gall to ask one of my girlfriends to ask me to return his ring and the large studio photo he had given me of himself.

The next morning I made myself a scrambled egg and champagne breakfast, burned his picture in the fireplace, and pounded the ring flat with a hammer. I put the "remains" in an envelope and mailed them to him. It was probably not the nicest thing to do -- but it sure gave me closure. -- MOVED ON IN TEXAS

DEAR MOVED ON: I'm struck by the symbolism. Your relationship had turned to ashes when he left you flat. (Naughty girl!) I hope you had better luck next time.

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and have my first "serious" boyfriend. I have been dating him for five months. I really love his family, but sometimes I get little hints that make me feel I am a bother to his parents.

I don't want them to get tired of me, because I really like them, and I don't want anything to affect our relationship.

Should I not call or visit as much, or just wait and see what happens? Thanks a million. -- CATHY IN CORAL GABLES, FLA.

DEAR CATHY: Since you suspect that you're calling and visiting too frequently, by all means you should cut back. It will give you an opportunity to participate in some interesting new solo activities you can share -- and it will give your boyfriend the opportunity to pursue you.

Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 years old. My mother and father are divorced. Dad remarried a woman with three kids. I have a younger sister and brother. We live with my dad.

Last week, I heard my stepmother talking on the phone to a friend about my brother, sister and me. She said, "I didn't bargain for them." She is always complaining to Dad about us. Our mother wasn't very good to us either, and she gave us to Dad.

Whenever my brother, sister or I gets sick, my stepmother complains if she has to take us to the doctor. We don't eat dinner until 7 or 8 at night. She dishes out our food. We're not allowed to serve ourselves. If we don't like what she gives us, she yells at us. Her kids wait until she leaves the room to throw their food in the trash can. If she sees it, she blames us and doesn't believe we didn't do it. Her kids sit and watch TV while we get in trouble for not picking up after ourselves. We try. She and her mother are always saying bad things about Daddy behind his back.

My grandma says I should tell Daddy. If I do, I know he'll get mad at me. He yells a lot, too, and believes everything my stepmother tells him.

After my mother gave us to him, I heard him say to her, "This wasn't in the plan."

If you print this, Abby, I would like to tell my dad: Please believe us. We don't lie to you. Give us a hug now and then. Tell us you love us. See that we are trying. Please stop yelling at us. How can we be good when all you see is bad? Daddy, can't you see how sad everyone is?

And to my stepmother, I'd like to say: We try to be good so you'll like us. You say you raised your kids right. Teach us the right way, too. Please stop yelling. I want to love you if you will give me a chance. We just need someone to love us in our house. -– NO NAME, NO ADDRESS, NO PHONE

P.S. I'm sorry this letter is a mess. I had to write it at school. Abby, if you print this so my dad will see it, please, please, please don't reveal where it came from.

DEAR NO NAME: It saddens me to say this, but you are not alone in your plight. Please read on:

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend's little sister is being abused by her stepfather. He threw her into a closet door. She has a noticeable black-and-blue mark on her arm. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure how often this has happened before.

Part of me is screaming to tell. Another part of me warns me not to for fear that he will do something bad to me. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. -– NO NAME, NO ADDRESS, NO PHONE

DEAR NO NAME, NO ADDRESS, NO PHONE I & II: I understand why neither of you felt comfortable revealing your personal information. I have received many similar letters over the years, and I always feel frustrated that I cannot personally contact you.

I'm printing your letters as a reminder to all young people who find themselves in similar situations to speak to a school counselor, a trusted relative, family friend, neighbor or member of the clergy, AND TELL THEM WHAT IS GOING ON.

Also, there are several toll-free hotlines to call, including The Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. Also, there is Boys Town National Hotline for boys and girls at 1-800-448-3000. All calls are confidential.

Adults who suspect a child is being physically or emotionally abused should call local child protective agencies, local law enforcement or the above hotlines. Help IS available.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)