DEAR ABBY: I am 11 years old, and my life is so complicated I don't know what to do. I am tired and have no time to spend with family and friends.

My weekly after-school schedule:

Monday -- advanced math school

Tuesday -- ice skating

Wednesday -- advanced math school

Thursday -- gymnastics

Friday -- piano lessons

Saturday -- soccer

Sunday -- math homework

Abby, I have at least five extremely hard homework assignments to do every night in addition to those given in the advanced math school. Please help a girl in need! -- NICOLE IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR NICOLE: It appears a compromise is in order. If you haven't already talked to your parents about this, you should do so. If that doesn't help, then you need to enlist the help of a teacher, clergyperson or some other respected adult who can help your parents understand that they have you so tightly scheduled you have no time left for a childhood. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have observed something that is taking place all across the country. Whenever a child becomes involved in any kind of team sport (soccer, T-ball, etc.), he or she may be invited to join a "traveling team."

These traveling teams spend many hours commuting to and from their out-of-town games and meets, spending time on the highway that could be better used in imaginative play, reading, homework, or building relationships and memories with their families and friends.

Many times these long-distance games are held on school nights, resulting in late-night returns, with too little time left for homework or sufficient sleep.

I've known a first-grade girl involved in cheerleading who attended a five-day "national competition" in another state and missed school to do it. This is a girl who, because of poor performance, needed every day of school she could get.

Abby, please ask parents to consider carefully how they deal with children's sports and activities. When some overeager coach or starry-eyed parent approaches with the idea for traveling teams and national competitions for the kids, have the guts to say no. -- KIDS' FRIEND IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR KIDS' FRIEND: Although many team sports offer the chance for bonding and camaraderie, as well as developing teamwork skills, too many parents become so fixated on success that they lose sight of what is important. Above all, they should be certain that their children want to participate in the sports they're being signed up for.

DEAR ABBY: I identified strongly with the letters from readers who graduated from college at an advanced age. Most were between 35 and 45 when they graduated.

When I graduated from high school, I was ranked 150 out of a class of 152. However, at age 59, I graduated in 1990 from Baldwin-Wallace College with a 3.79 grade point average. Even at 59, I was able to advance in my work, and eventually earned $75,000 a year by the time I retired at age 71.

Which goes to show you that it's never too late. -- ESTELLE IN LAKEWOOD, OHIO

DEAR ESTELLE: That's true. I'm a firm believer in happy endings. Your letter is sure to inspire more late bloomers that it's never too late to achieve one's dreams.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Many cities have set aside land for use as "dog parks." They are designed to be open places where dog owners can let their pets off leash to run free.

Last Saturday, a woman brought her 18-month-old son into the dog park. Several of us suggested to her that it wasn't a good idea to let her toddler wander free among 20-plus strange dogs. She said he had been knocked down several times by their own dog, and always got up and laughed and chased after the dog.

I am glad their family dog is child-friendly. My dog is not. Children's quick movements, high-pitched squeals and tendency to hit, poke and grab all scare my dog.

Abby, a dog park is designed to allow dogs the opportunity to run free and socialize with other dogs. What might happen in an encounter between a child and the wrong dog terrifies me. Please pass on this request to parents: If you bring your dog to the dog park, leave your babies at home -- or at least keep them close to you and away from the dogs. -- CHILD AND DOG LOVER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR C & D LOVER: Your letter may avert a tragedy. A wise parent will remember that not all dogs are friendly and will closely supervise a dog's encounter with a child until the parent is certain that both the child and the dog can be trusted.

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday for the first time in years, I stopped at a yard sale. As I approached, a man was examining a Colt model 1911 .45-caliber handgun. He waved it around, pointing it at everything in sight.

I asked the owner if the gun was unloaded. "Sure is," he said. "The clip is safely in my pocket." When it was my turn to look at the gun, I pulled the slide back and out popped a live round. I'll never forget the look of horror on the faces of the owner and the man who had been waving the gun.

I don't know what made me stop at that yard sale, but I feel if I hadn't, the gun would have eventually fired and perhaps someone would have been killed.

Abby, I have never felt outlawing guns is the answer. Education is. -- CLOSE CALL IN YUMA, ARIZ.

DEAR CLOSE CALL: I agree. That, and trigger locks and background checks.

CONFIDENTIAL TO BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: You say you don't believe in divorce. The relationship you have described is not a marriage. One of the first signs of abuse is isolating the victim so that he or she has no one to turn to. Control -- withholding money or freedom -- is another warning sign of abuse.

It's understandable that you pray to die, but there is help. As soon as you can find a few minutes away from your abuser, you MUST call (800) 799-7233. It's the number of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The counselor can direct you in devising a safe escape plan for you and your children.

Let today be the day you flee toward a life worth living. Do it for yourself and for your children.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I would like your opinion about a family situation: One of my sisters is marrying my other sister's ex-husband.

My younger sister, "Charlotte," and her husband, "Mel," were divorced because she was unfaithful. My other sister, "Kara," split from her husband because they cheated on each other. Charlotte has three boys and Kara has two girls.

Mel and Kara were both hurting, so they began to console each other. Well, one thing led to another. They have been living together for some time. This has devastated Charlotte. She and Kara used to be close. They no longer speak.

Kara has announced that she and Mel are being married in a formal wedding. Kara has asked our brother to walk her down the aisle, but he has reservations about the wisdom of her decision. He feels his sister has crossed the line.

The wedding is set for June. Charlotte refuses to allow her sons to take part in the ceremony. She plans to take them to Florida that week.

Abby, do you think it is wrong for Kara to marry Charlotte's ex-husband? -- BIG SISTER SUE

DEAR BIG SISTER SUE: What I think about the propriety of this forthcoming union is immaterial.

What I am having trouble understanding is why Mel, whose marriage to Charlotte ended because she cheated on him, would want to marry another woman who cheated on her husband.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old woman who is dating a 47-year-old man I'll call Roy. My problem is I don't know how to break it to him that I am no longer interested. It seems to me our relationship is based solely on sex.

Roy tells me all the time how much he loves me, but I think it's the sex he loves. From my perspective, we really don't have anything in common.

He is currently separated from his wife and has a 16-year-old daughter who doesn't know about me. Roy lives in another state, but we see each other often.

Last week he told me that when his divorce is final, he wants to marry me. I was OK with it until I did some serious thinking. Roy asked me if I had a problem with his age, and I said no -- although the fact that he's old enough to be my father does bother me.

I don't know what to do, Abby. If I break it off with him, he's not going to take it well -- I just know it. But if I let our relationship continue, I'll feel like I'm leading him on. He's talking about relocating to be with me. How should I handle this mess? -- TRAPPED IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR TRAPPED: Don't feel guilty -- just be honest. His age DOES matter to you. Level with him before he further disrupts his life to be with you. He may not take it well, but it's better than his giving up a job and relocating, only to be disappointed later.

DEAR ABBY: I finally figured out why women live an average seven years longer than men. They don't have wives. -- DIVORCED IN DENVER

DEAR DIVORCED: Not so fast! It could also be because they don't have husbands.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)