DEAR ABBY: A year ago, I led a picture-perfect life. I was a junior at a prestigious university, an All-American wrestler, in a wonderful relationship with my fiancee, "Libby," the father of a handsome 19-month-old son, driving a luxury car and living in a three-bedroom home. All of that came to an end. I was living two lives. One part of me was an honor student, loving boyfriend and father. The other was a violent drug dealer.

Libby had no clue about what I was doing. She thought I was a club promoter and that was why I was out most nights. Abby, I wasn't promoting clubs. I was selling boatloads of Ecstasy.

Last summer, I told Libby I had to go to Los Angeles to promote a club event. Another lie. I went to L.A. to pick up more Ecstasy. I never made it home. I was arrested, tried, and sentenced to four years in prison. When I told Libby the truth, she left me. She and my son moved 2,000 miles away to live with her family.

For the past year, I have written Libby, but she doesn't answer my letters. I understand she and my mother talk and write to each other frequently. My mother is desperately trying to get us back together, but I don't think there is any hope for us. My mother says there is always hope.

When I get out, I'll need to get my act together and finish my last year of college. I can't bear the thought of not marrying Libby and settling down with her and my son. I am sorry for what I have done, but she is hurt and unable to forgive me. Can you think of anything I can do or say to get Libby and my son back in my life? -- STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A VERY HARD PLACE

DEAR STUCK: Only this. After serving your sentence, finish your college education so you can eventually support your son. That way you can prove that you have learned your lesson and can be a strong role model. Only time will tell whether you and Libby have a future together. But hold a good thought.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mom with a daughter who is a sophomore in high school. She has a male friend she likes "more than just a friend." However, he has a girlfriend and talks to my daughter only when his girlfriend isn't around. Also, he's a freshman in college.

I do not like this guy at all and have been so concerned about my daughter that I did some snooping in her room. What I found has me very upset! He wrote her a letter that sounds like it came straight out of an X-rated movie! I cannot begin to tell you how sick it made me.

I cannot confront my daughter unless I confess that I violated her privacy and read something I shouldn't have.

The only alternative is to say nothing and hope my daughter will see this person for who he really is. Please help because the situation is driving me crazy. -- WORRIED SICK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER

DEAR WORRIED SICK: Motherhood isn't a popularity contest. You and your daughter are overdue for a serious mother/daughter chat. Tell her that out of concern, you did some snooping and found the letter. Then be quiet and listen.

Your daughter needs to know that young men who respect girls do not send them X-rated letters. Since this fellow is officially going with someone else, for him to encourage your daughter under the circumstances shows a lack of character. Then inform your daughter that you want communication stopped with this male "friend." That's what mothers are for.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

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DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Hurting in Virginia," the distraught widow who discovered her previously married husband still carried snapshots of his first wife in his wallet, resonated with me. She feared that it meant he was still in love with his first wife.

I have been happily married for 15 years. We have three great children. My husband's wallet is literally falling apart, so I bought him a new one and gave him updated pictures of the children. They remained in his nightstand drawer. After a few years, I even put the most current pictures into the new wallet and mentioned to him that I had done it so he would throw away the old wallet and start using the new one.

You guessed it. The new wallet is still in the drawer.

Please assure "Hurting" that cleaning the wallet was probably such a low priority it never crossed her husband's mind. -- VERY MUCH IN LOVE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR IN LOVE: You have already done an excellent job of that. Talk about letters that generate letters -- read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have an old boyfriend who was to be married, but right before the wedding the "lady" ripped him off. She ran up his credit cards, wrecked his credit and broke his heart. This happened almost 10 years ago.

He still carries her picture in his wallet -- so he can sit on her face. -- LISA IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR LISA: Or maybe it's to remind himself where he felt the pain.

DEAR ABBY: For some reason, we seem to want to look for hidden or ulterior motives rather than simple, straightforward ones. Being a man, my first thought while reading that letter was, "I bet he hadn't cleaned out his wallet in years." It's the same thought that was echoed in your P.S. -- AN UNTIDY MALE IN L.A.

DEAR MALE: Many readers said the same thing.

DEAR ABBY: My parents died within 17 days of each other. I had the grim task of taking apart a household and sorting through personal belongings. It was a year and a half before I could bring myself to go through their wallets, but I had to laugh when I finally did.

There were membership cards that had expired 20 years earlier, sales receipts, phone numbers with only five digits -- can you remember that far back? There was also the worst photo of me ever taken.

I wish I had photographed the contents of those wallets and that "Hurting" could see it. It would put her worries to rest and provide a much needed laugh. -- ANNE IN PERU, IND.

DEAR ANNE: I believe it. One reader related that when she finally got around to cleaning out her own wallet, she discovered a store coupon that had expired in 1989.

DEAR ABBY: One day, a neighbor of mine who had been divorced for many years received an unexpected phone call. It was from a nurse in the local hospital emergency room calling to say that her husband was seriously ill.

My neighbor rushed to the hospital. When she entered what she thought was her husband's room, whom should she find instead but her ex! When he opened his eyes and saw her, he moaned, "Oh my God, have I died and gone to hell?"

It seems the former husband hadn't cleaned out his wallet after he got rid of his wife. She was still the person named as his next of kin! -- FLORENCE IN OTTAWA, CANADA

DEAR FLORENCE: Thanks for an amusing letter with a useful message. I'm sure it will inspire a lot of procrastinators to clean out their wallets today.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were dining out and heard a cell phone ring. A woman seated in the booth next to us took a phone out of her purse and proceeded to carry on a 20-minute conversation. By the time she hung up, we knew her name, address, phone number, the ages of her three daughters and that the girls were home alone.

As the couple prepared to leave, I approached her and said we had overheard her conversation -- and to please think of her children's safety when talking on her cell phone in public. Her reply? "We keep a rottweiler in our yard."

Her husband threw a business card down on our table, said, "Here's our address. Let's just see you around our house!" and stormed out. My husband then chewed me out for not minding my own business.

I was polite, not demeaning in any way. I simply pointed out that in this day and age, it's better to be careful when you talk in the presence of strangers.

Abby, don't people care about one another anymore? Was I out of line? The couple's reaction -- and my husband's -- really got to me. Thanks for letting me vent. -- GRANDMOTHER OF FIVE IN NORTH TEXAS

DEAR GRANDMOTHER: I believe people still care about one another. However, your good deed brought about some peculiar dynamics. Your comment embarrassed that naive woman because you made her realize that she had, indeed, put her children at risk. The husband saw his wife's embarrassment and jumped to her defense. Had that man been any more rude, your husband would have had to defend you -- and it could have caused a serious altercation. (That's why your husband chewed you out.)

Be comforted in the knowledge that I probably would have reacted exactly as you did. This would be a sad world, indeed, if nobody tried to help anybody.

DEAR ABBY: I am a health teacher in a middle school. Part of the curriculum calls for the students to learn about the dangers of substance abuse. I asked my 13-year-old students if their parents had talked with them about drugs. To my surprise, most of the students volunteered that their parents had not shared their views on drug abuse. They left that to the health teacher: Me!

I decided to tell my students this: "I will use short words and sentences that we all understand. Do not try drugs. Do not start them. If you think that no one cares about you, you are wrong. I care about you. I think about all of you every day and worry about your future. I will listen to you. I don't care what your hair looks like. I don't care if you have a pierced nose. I care about you as a person. Drugs will destroy your future. I, for one, want you to have a great one."

Abby, I wish parents understood that their children need to hear this message directly from them -- not from me. -- HEALTH TEACHER IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR HEALTH TEACHER: You're right. And if parents are at a loss for words, they should save your letter and read your heartfelt plea to their children. It's one of the most important messages they can convey, because silence implies indifference.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)