DEAR ABBY: Every time your column addresses the danger of children left unattended around water, I am grateful.

Fifteen years ago, my boyfriend and I were strolling along the edge of a lake far from the public swimming area. He worked as a lifeguard at the lake, but was off-duty that afternoon. As we walked, he almost stepped on what appeared to be a bundle in the murky water. He reached down to examine it more closely and pulled out a little girl!

The chances of our finding her were nothing short of miraculous. Because my boyfriend was trained in CPR, he was able to revive her. We then took the terrified child to the picnic area, where her parents were lounging. Abby, they hadn't even realized she was missing! When we told them what happened, they responded that since lifeguarding was my boyfriend's profession, he was just "doing his job." Can you believe that! -- HORRIFIED IN FORT HOOD, TEXAS

DEAR HORRIFIED: Yes, I can believe it. Instead of recognizing their irresponsibility, the parents chose instead to dump the responsibility on your boyfriend.

I hope they realized later how lucky they were that you two guardian angels were in the right place at the right time.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who is considerate to the extreme when it comes to remembering special occasions in the lives of her friends and family. She calls or sends cards to acknowledge every anniversary, birthday or special event. However, I think that at some point it should stop.

Both my parents have passed away during the last five years. They were wonderful people who lived full lives. I remember them privately on the anniversaries of their deaths.

My problem is that on these special dates, my friend always calls to say she is "thinking of me." This sends me into a tailspin of mourning, because her call is never timely. I may be thinking of other things and not dwelling on the past.

Abby, how do I tell her to remove me from her list of death remembrance calls without offending her? I realize she's only trying to be thoughtful. -- DO NOT DISTURB IN TEXAS

DEAR DO NOT DISTURB: Level with her. Thank her for her thoughtfulness. Remind her that everyone copes with death in his or her own way -- then tell her exactly what you have written to me. It's honest, and she shouldn't be offended.

DEAR ABBY: I am confused and have no one to talk to. There's this guy I like who asked me out, but I told him no. Now I'm having second thoughts because we aren't as different as I thought we were.

I don't want anything too serious right now, and he keeps saying things like, "I want to have sex with you." He tells me that we would be great together and goes on and on about how "hot" I am.

What should I do, Abby? -- BUNDLE OF CONFUSION IN PORTLAND

DEAR BUNDLE: Accept the fact that you and this young man ARE different. You want a relationship that isn't serious. He wants sex -- and sex is VERY serious.

Keep this guy at arm's length and don't let him talk you into anything.

P.S. The next time he tells you how "hot" you are, suggest he take a cold shower.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 52-year-old man married to "Sarah," the most wonderful woman I have ever met. She is intelligent, ethical, witty, pretty, healthy -- a great mother and grandmother. She means the world to me.

About 10 years ago, Sarah "rededicated herself to God" and lost all interest in sharing an emotional, romantic and physical connection with me. She immersed herself in her church, Bible studies, our children, cats and pottery-making.

She seems happy with this life. I am not. I want more than a brother/sister relationship with my wife. I want to travel, go dancing, hold her hand at the movies -- and to make love together.

Our marriage counselor says we may never meet each other's needs and should consider going our separate ways. However, I do not believe a man should leave his wife and family, and Sarah feels the same. Everyone would hate me if I left her -- the community, our children and Sarah herself.

I cannot imagine living 30 more years without the love I need in my life, yet I don't like the choices of divorce or loneliness. Abby, is there a third choice I'm not seeing? (An affair is out of the question.) -- HUSBAND AT A CROSSROADS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HUSBAND: You have my sympathy. However, you paid good money to a qualified marriage counselor who assessed your situation correctly. You say your wife is happy with her choice. Now you must decide how you want to spend your life. And no one has the right to criticize you for whatever choice you make.

DEAR ABBY: In response to the letter about teen-agers not wearing seatbelts, I would like to share how I finally started wearing one.

I had all the excuses in the world why I didn't need one. Twenty years ago, I was a rookie cop in San Diego. I was in and out of my squad car constantly. I was convinced I needed to be ready to jump out and run at a moment's notice. Like most cops, I felt I was invincible.

My boyfriend worried that I would be in an accident. One day he walked up to my squad car and said, "Just think of the seatbelt as my arms wrapped around you, holding you until you're safely back in my arms again." From that day on, I have always buckled up. I used the same strategy with my daughter -- and now my grandson. It works. -- LESLIE HUTCHISON, FALLS CHURCH, VA.

DEAR LESLIE: I'm not surprised. That's a dose of medicine anyone would be pleased to take -- me included.

DEAR ABBY: For the past two years, I have been stepmother to two boys, ages 10 and 12. I care about them and make sure they get the attention they deserve at home and in school.

My problem: I feel guilty because I do not love them. They are nice kids, Abby, but I don't have the deep love and affection for them that I have for my nieces and nephews. Have you any suggestions? -- FEELING LIKE A WICKED STEPMOM

DEAR STEPMOM: You bet I do -- and the first is to stop feeling guilty about it. Be patient with yourself. Love takes time to grow and it comes in many forms. You are acting in a loving and caring way, and your letter reflects your deep concern and sensitivity.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR READERS: Letters are still coming in with suggestions for offbeat uses for pantyhose. Some of you deserve a medal for innovation. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: When the upholstered backrest of my favorite chair separated from the back panel, I tried to put the parts back together with glue, Velcro, earthquake wax (used by museums to secure priceless art objects), etc. Nothing worked.

Control-top pantyhose to the rescue! I tugged the elastic waist around the two broken pieces and lowered the pantyhose over the top of the chair to make the front and back one section again. I wrapped the legs around the whole chair twice and tied the ends in back with a firm knot. Now the chair can't fall apart. Sign me ... DID IT WITHOUT DUCT TAPE, CLAREMONT, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: For more than 30 years, I flagged races for the American Motorcycle Association. Believe it or not, racers use pantyhose to protect themselves when they take a spill.

Because of the heat generated by intense friction, the leather pants racers wear can stick to their skin when they slide. Pantyhose allow the body to move under the leather without sticking. I learned this trick in the '60s when I saw a rider donning a pair. -- RUSS, RETIRED STARTER, HAMPTON, GA.

DEAR ABBY: This predates pantyhose a bit: Forty-four years ago, I joined the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and was required to spit-shine two pairs of brown riding boots, two pairs of black ankle boots and one pair of Wellingtons.

Each evening, after all the spit-shines were complete, a ball of nylon stockings a bit larger than a baseball was used to "fine-tune" the job.

To this day, I still have that nylon ball -- but I'll never reveal where it came from! -- R.B. IN OTTAWA

DEAR ABBY: When I worked for construction companies during the cold winter months, I found a way to keep twice as warm as the rest of the crew, who were always bundled up like Eskimos.

Having noticed women running about in cold weather with only nylon pantyhose covering their legs, I tried a pair under my work pants. Lo and behold! I was warm as toast!

After I was persistently questioned by the guys about why I wore less clothing but always seemed warmer than they were, I told them my secret, and they had a good laugh.

One by one, the rest of the crew took up the practice -- and guess who had the last laugh. -- RETIRED IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: People who show horses braid the legs of cut-off pantyhose into their horses' newly washed tails. Then they tie the toe ends together so the tail is looped well off the ground. This prevents the horse from stepping on its tail and prevents it from being soiled.

One of my neighbors slipped your last column about pantyhose under my door with a note: "We can top this!" I live in a large retirement community, and more than 50 lovely ladies here donate their used pantyhose for my daughter's horse. -- RUTH MARSON, POMONA, CALIF.

DEAR RUTH: I hope that wasn't a tall tail.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)